Part Five

"Poor Pam's been calling and calling for hours"

Jeff had the feeling his car was not even touching the pavement on his drive home. He had never felt such joy, such exhilaration, after being with a girl. Or maybe ever! Needless to say, he had never felt like this driving home from Pam's house!
    The Welds lived in Park Ridge's poshest neighborhood, located north and east of the Uptown business district. Their house, located on the south side of Elm Street between Ashland and Washington, was a sprawling Victorian. It was a showplace, one of the nicest old houses in town. Of course, large homes characterized the entire area, which was bordered to the northwest by the exclusive Park Ridge Country Club. Jeff's house was located only about five blocks from the library, so that he had to calibrate his time carefully in order to walk through the door at 10:15, a time consistent with the short drive from the library to 317 Elm Street.
    Jeff quickly learned that the phones in the house had been busy that evening. Mr Weld was camped in front of the TV in the den watching a Bulls game. The game was tied with only two minutes left. Jeff barely earned a grunt from his father as a result.

Dad certainly isn't very sociable these days. Well, I suppose being the managing partner at Arthur Andersen isn't the easiest job in the world. Enjoy the game, Dad!

    Mrs Weld was much more voluble. "Jeff, dear, our phone has been ringing off the hook all evening! Most of the calls have been from poor Pam. Your line has been ringing and ringing, too; that probably was Pam as well. I told her you were at the library doing a paper and would be home a little after ten. She said you should call her when you get home no matter what. I guess that means it's not too late now? Plus," Mrs Weld added, "Here are two more messages I took. One was from Dee Crotty and the other from Rick Rex. Both of them said you should call no matter how late you got in. You're a popular fellow this evening, Jeff Weld!"

Good ol' Pam, eh? Sounds like she's about two weeks ahead of schedule on our traditional getting back together routine. I just bet she heard how gorgeous and buxom Angelica is from Karen Acton — not to mention the additional detail that she and I looked like a couple. Well, I've got news for her! There will be no make-up cherry Coke at the Coffee Cup this time 'cause, Pam baby, I have moved on! Permanently! Hmm ... a call from Dee Crotty, too ... interesting!

    "Okay, Mom, Jeff replied. "I'll get right on it."
    Mrs Weld gave Jeff a funny look. "Are you all right, Jeff? You seem kind of ... um ... spaced out, or something. Sort of ... goofy?"
Jeff paused. He had a feeling he had a perpetual shit-eating grin on his face. One that couldn't be wiped off no matter how hard he tried. "I'm fine, Mom. Really fine! The couldn't-be-better kind of fine." The young man turned to head up the stairs. "Well, good night. Gotta go, Mom ... gotta call Pam back ... plus Dee 'n Rick. See ya in the morning!"
    Jeff's back quickly receded up the staircase. Something good must have happened, Mrs Weld concluded, because the young fellow was taking the steps two at a time. That usually meant high spirits for some reason, though the odds that a mother might actually find out the cause without prying were very long indeed. Mrs Weld shook her head and sighed. "I've raised three adolescents," she said to herself, "and I'm no closer to understanding them than when I started."

With his sisters away at school, the three remaining occupants of 317 Elm Street hardly filled up the large, rambling old house. As a result, Jeff had the entire third floor to himself. It was a teenager's dream. He had a huge bedroom with a king-size bed, a large study in which to do his homework, listen to music, or watch his TV, a spare room with twin beds suitable for putting up friends on the weekend, and his own oversized bathroom with shower. Not too many kids he knew had a private suite to themselves. Jeff was lucky and he knew it!
    Jeff looked at the slip of paper with his messages his mother had given him.

That's interesting! Why on earth would Dee be calling? Curious and curiouser! Now, a call from Rick. That I can understand. He wonders what sort of trouble we can get into this weekend. But Dee ... hmm! It's got to have something to do with Pam. But what?

    A call to Rick seemed like the most pleasant and least stressful of his callbacks. Using the old save-the-worst-for-last technique, Jeff decided to call Rick, Dee, and Pam in that order.
    "Hey, Rick, what's up!"
    "My parents said I could have a little party in the basement rec room tomorrow night, that's what. I'm inviting three couples. How 'bout you 'n Pam? Are you up for it?"
    "Actually," Jeff began, "I'm up for it but not with Pam. We broke up today. Yes, again, can you believe it? But this time it's for keeps."
    "Yeah, well, I'll believe that when I see it!" Rick responded in a disbelieving tone. "That's what you always say. Anyway, this is a dates-only affair, of course. Can you come up with one of those sluts you hang out with when you break up with Pam? They're always kind of skanky but at least they're usually good looking and they always have huge tits. Can you snag one of those on short notice? I guess we could lower the moral standards of the Rex basement and let her in."
    "Well, I have a date already. Somebody really, really special. Nothing like any of the other girls I dated after breaking up with Pam. Not at all! Actually, you probably don't know her 'cause today was her first day in school."
    There was a pause. "What's her name?" Rick demanded, a note of sharp awareness and acute inquiry suddenly informing his voice.
    "Angelica Gonzales," Jeff answered.
    There was a slightly longer pause. "Wait a minute ... wait just a fucking minute," Rick demanded impatiently. "An Hispanic girl? Real light skinned, though?"
    "Unbelievably good looking. Amazing legs. Fucking unbelievable ass. Biggest fucking tits in the world, actually? Don't tell me that's who you have a date with!"

If I weren't in such a state of euphoria I think Rick's rank crudeness might seriously piss me off. We've been buddies since kindergarten, though, and I know he would never use such language if he really knew the truth about my relationship with Angelica. I mean, he obviously thinks I've only talked to her for a few minutes and that our date tomorrow night will be our first extended time together. So ... I'll give Rick a pass this time. But I'll expect some respect when we show up at his house. But knowing Rick's deep-down good heart and our friendship, I know we'll get it.

    "Rick, my friend," Jeff answered. "I would never stoop to such crude terms to describe a young lady I was going to be spending time with. On the other hand, I'd have to say that if you cleaned up your terminology, that would probably describe Angelica, yes. In general terms, at least."
    "Jesus H Christ!" Rick broke in. "If she's who I thinks she is — and she just has to be, it couldn't be anyone else — she's just fucking unbelievable. I saw her in the hall a couple of times today. She was causing a fucking commotion! I mean guys were whipping around for a second look in amazement. She's so beautiful 'n built! I mean, she's impossible! Mind-boggling! I didn't know they made 'em like that! The guys were all talking about her. In fact, at lunch we were talking about nothing else! You expect me to believe you have a date with this fabulous babe, that you snagged her on her very first fucking day at Maine East?"
    "I am," Jeff confirmed. "And I did."
    "Well," Rick continued. "You just won the Cunthound of the Century Award. The Fast Mover Of The Year Award, too. You dumped Pam — or was it vice versa, as usual — and snagged this unbelievable chick all in one day. Great work, Jeffie! You bet you can bring Angelica to my party. We all want to meet her. Better yet, you can drop her off and leave. How 'bout that?"
    "Don't think so, Rick. What time's the party? Eight?"
    "Eight is fine. 'Course, you can drop Angelica off early if you want."
    "Give it up, you asshole," Jeff bantered. Then with his list of callbacks in mind he interjected, "Goodnight, Rick!"

Dee Crotty was next on the list. As soon as she picked up the phone and discovered it was Jeff, it became obvious she was very nervous about talking to him. Her quavering "Hello, Jeff?" was a dead giveaway.
    "I ... I ... I probably shouldn't have called you? Pam would just kill me if she knew? But you and I have been such good friends 'n all ... all the times you and Pam 'n my boyfriend Wayne 'n I have double dated? Pam and I are such buddies, too ... and you two make such a great couple? I just felt like I had to call? To, like, you know, intercede?"
    "Well, that's fine, Dee. I appreciate it."

Although when it comes to friendship, I think her friendship with Pam will trump mine with Dee. I have to remember, this is Pam's best friend I'm talking to. Our friendship is strictly derivative! Anything I say to her goes straight back to Pam. Plus, the idea that Pam doesn't know about this call is a bad joke! How could Dee expect me to believe that she's not doing this at Pam's express direction? I mean, how dumb do you think I am, Dee? Or Pam, either! Give me a break!

    "Anyway, I thought it was so awful? ... you and her breaking up, I mean? I just wondered if, maybe, you two would ... might ... get back together? ... I mean, you've been together so long! It just seems a shame?"
    "Dee," Jeff broke in, "I think you're talking to the wrong party here. Pam broke up with me. If there's any un-breaking up to be done, she'd have to be the one to get the ball rolling."
    There was a pause while Dee figured out a way to work around this undoubted truth. "Well, I know that's technically true, Jeff. But you see, I think Pam really just wanted a little time off? Nothing more than that. I think she felt hassled 'n all in the relationship and just needed, like, a little space? Just for a little while, though? You know, like, a short breather? And then you'd, like, get back together like you always do. You know?"
    "Well, Dee, things don't always turn out that way."
    "Well, that's the point, Jeff. This time, you're acting like you're the one breaking up with her! Like it's, you know, for real this time?"
    "How on earth can you say that?" Jeff protested. "She broke up with me! What could be more real than that?"
    Dee was finding herself hard-pressed to maintain the thread of her argument. Why had she ever agreed with Pam to make this call? It was a big mistake — and getting bigger by the moment. Dee could definitely feel her head slipping under the water. She wanted to bail out of this conversation in the worst way!
    "Well, 'cause it looks like you've already moved on to another girl, that's how," Dee answered, doggedly determined to see her assignment through to the end. "And Pam hasn't so much as talked to another guy since you guys broke up at lunch! She's, like, playing it straight? Like, you're still, you know, sorta involved for the long term even though you technically broke up for the short term?"

Ah! So that's it! Dee even knows the time line. Plus, I was seen with Angelica. By Karen Acton, no doubt, who promptly reported in to Pam. Angelica's clearly no recreational slut like the other girls I've dated during our other breakups. She's much too beautiful. Plus, she's got a figure that's Universe Class! The situation is obvious to Pam and her friends. This girl does not look like any temporary stand-in. She's a triple-barreled threat. So now Pam is worried! And she should be! Goodie!

    "And how is that?" Jeff inquired. "What makes you think I've 'already moved on?'"

I'm not going to make this easy for Dee. She's going to have to spell it all out. Not that it's gonna make any difference, of course.

    "Golly, Jeff!" Dee was clearly in distress. "It's, like, a friend of ours saw you walkin' with this girl after school toward the parking lot? She said she was really very, very beautiful 'cept she looked like a twelve-year old? Her face, I mean? On the other hand, she had these just ... just, monstrous breasts so she couldn't be twelve? Not really! This friend said you two were just looking real, real friendly, you know, like you were, like, already goin' together or something? Not like the other times when, you know, you'd date someone all right, but just, well, sort of ... hmmm ... just to have someone to take to parties 'n junk?"
    "Well, Dee, things like that happen after a guy and a girl break up. They meet new people. Sometimes even right away. Sometimes, Dee, they just absolutely connect. And I mean instantly!"
    Dee cleared her throat. "Actually, Pam 'n Pat Teyro 'n I are pretty sure we saw this same girl when we were headed to our lockers after eighth period this afternoon. It just had to be her? She's really spectacular looking ... really beautiful, I have to admit ... movie star looks, actually... with a fantastic figure, no getting around that ... well, maybe a little too fantastic if you know what I mean? Pat 'n I agreed that she was really something. In short, a real beauty ... except?"
    "Except what?"
    "Except I ... I just didn't think she looked like your type, is all?"
    "And what's my type, Dee?"
    "Well, I don't know ... someone like Pam, I guess? I mean, you two live in the same neighborhood, your fathers play golf together at the Country Club, your mothers co-chair the book group at the Women's Club ... you know your lives just fit together so well?"
    "Listen, Dee, I went out with Pam, not her mother and father. That other stuff doesn't matter."
    "True, but this girl just seemed so different from you. She looked, well, um ... Hispanic? Now," Dee quickly added, "don't get me wrong. Being Hispanic is fine! They're wonderful people? Absolutely! I certainly don't want you to think I'm prejudiced? Golly! It's just that your backgrounds must be so different while yours 'n Pam's are so similar. That's all I was thinking?"
    "I'm certainly glad to hear that!" Jeff commented dryly.
    "Plus," Dee quickly added, "Although I know she can't really be twelve years old — not with those ... those huge ... those, I mean, they're like huge — she still must be awfully young? Like a freshman, I suppose? Pam is so much more mature than that? I mean, not mature in the physical sense ... of course, she is mature, of course, in all senses of the word, but maybe I mean, like, you know, emotionally?" Doesn't that make a difference?"
    "Look, Dee, Angelica is a junior. One year younger than me. That also makes her one year younger than Pam. And from what I can tell, she might even be more grown-up than me. She's a very mature young lady ... in the emotional sense, of course."
    "Hmmm ... Angelica ... so that's her name?"
    "Angelica Gonzales," Jeff said.
    "Hmmm...." Dee had run out of words and argument.
    To the relief of both participants, the conversation was winding down. "Well, Jeff, I'm just sorry you feel this way? It's been so great doing things with you 'n Pam as a couple? I know this girl is really beautiful and has a sensational figure 'n all but I just think you're letting your head get turned by appearances? I think when you spend a little time with ... Angelica, you'll realize what you're giving up by not going out with Pam. Deeper, more important values? I sure hope so, anyway? 'Course," she added in closing, "by the time you come to your senses it might be too late. After all, Pam's a really popular girl and I know there's scads of guys who'd love to go out with her. It could lead to a long-term relationship, you know. And then where would you be?"
    "Dee, I really appreciate your concern. I really appreciate this call, too. You're a good friend to Pam and to me, too. And just because Pam and I are no longer a couple, I certainly hope to see a lot of you anyway."
    Jeff decided to wrap things up with an outrageous suggestion. It was truly malicious but he could not resist. "Look, maybe Angelica 'n I could double date with you 'n Wayne some time. I know Angelica would love to meet you!" Jeff could scarcely keep from laughing — there was a double date that was never going to happen. For one thing, Pam would scratch Dee's eyes out for such an act of treachery. "And I know you'd like her once you got to know her."
    "I'm sure I would but we'll just have to see. About the double date, that is. Good night, Jeff." Dee abruptly concluded the call in a very frosty tone.

Yeah, well, I think my friendship with Dee just got put on hold! That's for sure! I should call Pam now and get it over with, except I know Dee is calling her right now to report in on our conversation. I'd better kill a little time before I call Pam. Let the girls confer. Somehow, I think that once she hears from Dee, our conversation is going to be on the short and definitely not sweet side!

Jeff waited about fifteen minutes to call Pam. Even so, the children's line at the Foxes was busy the first few times he called. It could have been her sister Candy on the phone with her boyfriend John Hagar of the Hagar twins but Jeff seriously doubted it. No, a council of war between Pam and Dee was plainly in progress. Finally, however, the line was clear and the phone was answered after only one ring. It was Pam!
    "Hi, Pam ... it's Jeff ... I'm returning your call. Sorry it's so late but your line was busy — I couldn't get through." Jeff paused and waited. Now it was Pam's turn.

That's the way to do it, Jeff ol' boy! Lob it into her court. Then make her do all the heavy lifting!

    "Umm ... I don't really know how to put this, Jeff ... but ... well ... I'll just spit it out. I ... I don't want to stay broken up with you, Jeff? Not really, no. I know we did break up at lunch, officially at least, and that it was my doing? No doubt about that! But this afternoon I did a lot of thinking about it and ... well ... I decided I had made a mistake — a huge mistake — and I want to undo it." Pam paused for a moment and then said, "I was wrong and I admit it! Won't you forgive me? Can't we just, like, forget today ever happened and get back together? Be like, you know, the way we were?" Pam's voice was so sweet, so syrupy!

No doubt about it! She's heard reports and even seen Angelica in the flesh and then heard we were leaving school together lookin' like a pair of lovebirds. Which we were! Usually she waits a couple of weeks to pull this sort of stunt. This time, though, she figures Angelica is so gorgeous 'n built she'd better not take a chance by waiting. Guess what, Pam ... you're too late already! You're history, baby!

    "Pam, this seesaw thing has happened a lot before, and you know it. Lots of times, actually, and ... well ... this was just one time too many. It made me think about things. About us. Think about them seriously! I really think we'd better leave things the way they are. It's for the best. Really. I think you made the right call."
    "You really make a girl swallow her pride, Jeff," Pam pleaded. Her voice was suddenly even more syrupy sweet. Singsong, almost. "The truth is ... well ... I ... actually, I didn't really want to break up at all ... I know I did it — technically, that is — but it was just that ... just that ... I needed to take a little time off? A little break? I didn't want a real breakup, I mean. Just a few days to, you know, get my head straight? So I could be, like, a better girlfriend to you? I figured, you know, that we'd, like, get back together again ... just like always? Only better? What do you say, Jeffikins?"
    "Pam, no. Just no. Not this time. We're leaving it the way you called it at lunch today. We're quits. I've done some thinking, too, and, well, I'm sorry but it's really for the best that we stay apart. You called it the right way at lunch. I can see that now."
    Jeff took a deep breath; it was time to dish out the insincere palaver. "But you've always been special to me, Pam, and you always will. You're such a terrific girl that I know that lots of guys are going to be callin' you up real soon. Just as soon as the word of our break-up gets around. I bet the phone won't stop ringin'. And when you answer, any guy you say 'yes' to for a date will be one really lucky fellow. Just wait and see. So you see? This is all for the best. So ... I really wish you well, Pam. Our years together have really been ... just so meaningful! I'll never forget them — ever! You'll always be really special to me. For as long as I live."
    Jeff could hear a ragged intake of breath from his former girl friend. "It's that ridiculous new girl, that ... deformed ... twelve-year old whore with a monstrosity of a bosom, isn't it?" she hissed. Pam was seething with rage.
    Pam stopped for a moment to marshal her anger. "Don't even try to deny it, Jeff Weld! I saw her in the hall after eighth period so I know what I'm taking about. Come to think of it, you were right behind her — following her, probably! Chasing after this twelve-year-old kid with the biggest boobs you ever saw! Stalking her, I bet! Ridiculous! Have you no ... no ... no pride?"
    Pam's voice started to shake with emotion. "You don't fool me Jeff Weld, not one bit. Every time we break up you go out with some girl with big breasts. Every single time! It's your pattern. Only this time you outdid yourself. You've found the ultimate slutty freak! A little tart with grotesque ... watermelon breasts! All dressed up like a streetwalker, too! So this time you figure you found your dream girl — just what you've always been lookin' for. Right?"
    Jeff did not respond. No way was he going to honor that sort of comment with a response. The hell with her!

Why you rotten bitch! So you never really wanted to break up at all, eh? I bet that applies to every single breakup we've had. Jeff, ol' boy ... you are a little slow but I think you're getting it at last. Finally! Breaking up was part one of Pam's little strategy for avoiding sex. Part two was when I went lookin' for some buxom nooky after the breakup. Pam not only knew I would do that but wanted me to do it! Then, once I had gotten my rocks off a few dozen times, she would figure I was satiated enough so it was safe to reel me back in. That's part three. After all that fucking, she figured I'd be a little less insistent on sex for a while. When I started to get too horny again, well, she'd just repeat the process! Part four and so on. What a conniving bitch! Well, you've jerked me around for the last time, Pam. This time, baby, you overplayed your hand. Your problem is that you never dreamed I'd actually fall for one of those "big breast" girls. Not for good, anyway. Of course, even though she's got huge boobs, Angelica simply isn't one of those girls — not at all!— although there's no way you could know that! Your little games allowed me to run into the very girl who was perfect for me! You blew it, bitch, and this time I'm out of here for good!

    Pam had paused to catch her breath. She finally got tired of waiting for the response from Jeff that apparently was not going to come. "Hispanic, isn't she?" she crisply inquired.
    "Yes, she is. And she's sixteen, not twelve, by the way. A junior, too. Plus, she's a wonderful, wonderful girl. That's the main thing! Smart as a whip, too."
    "And I suppose you'd been with her all afternoon and night, too, right?"
    "Pam, this conversation is getting us nowhere."
    "I bet you were. I know you weren't at the library 'cause I went over there to find you so we could talk — you know, get a black cow or something across the street at Pipers? — and you weren't there. You told your mom and dad that's where you'd be! That's what your mother told me. But you weren't! I oughta bust you, you ... liar! 'Liar, liar, pants on fire.'"
    "As if that would bring us together!"
    "Well, I won't bother! I won't need to! Your parents will be upset enough when they see you're taking up with a ... a twelve-year old Hispanic whore with ridiculous breasts."
    "That's it, Pam. Over and out! Goodbye."
    "And goodbye to you, Jeff Weld. I hope you're happy with your ... your little slut of a ... a ... an overgrown Mexican cow! And when you get tired of her, don't bother to call 'cause I'll be busy!"

Wow! That girl is angry! Not acting very Christian, is she? But you know what? If I were to ask her out for a cherry Coke in a couple of weeks, she'd say yes. Maybe even tomorrow. She wouldn't even have think twice about it. After this little turn of events, I could have her eating out of my hand. I should have done something like this the first time we broke up. I bet things would have turned out very differently. Live and learn. But guess what? Now I don't want to! I don't care! Why would I? I've got Angelica! What could be better than that? Talk about things working out for the best!

There was one final call to make. To Angelica. It was not one on the official schedule of callbacks — she hadn't called him, after all — but it was clearly the most important call of them all.
    Jeff's heart flipped when he heard Angelica's voice. As if he needed any further proof of how utterly infatuated he was with her! The overly bosomed beauty sounded breathless as if she had been running for the phone or was perhaps worried about who might be calling at this hour. It was nearly midnight, after all. Thank God it wasn't one of her parents who answered! That would have been hard to explain.
    "It's me, babe. I know it's late but I figured your parents wouldn't be home yet and, frankly, I just wanted to hear your voice."
    "Oh, Jeff! I'm so glad it's you! It's so great to hear your voice too."
    "What'cha been doin', love?"
    "Hmmm. Cleaning up messes. Our messes! Our wonderful messes! I'm on my second load of wash already. Did you know that Fantastic does a, hmmm, fantastic job of cleaning sperm off of walls and the floor 'n stuff?"
    Jeff laughed. "I sure didn't. I should say I don't feel in the least guilty about all the love we made today but I sure do feel guilty that you're the one who has to clean up after us."
    Angelica giggled delightedly. "Don't worry about it, honey. I've just been floating through the apartment doing the cleanup. It's an absolute labor of love. Hmmm — it sure is 'cause I love you so much!"
    "I love you, too, baby. It's all I've been thinking of since I left your apartment."
    "Guess what, honey?" Angelica whispered.
    "What," Jeff replied.
    "I'm still full of your sperm; it kept dripping all over my feet while I was cleaning up. Finally, I stuck in a Tampax 'cause I kept having to go back over the floors. But that's great! I love the slushy, sloshy feeling it gives me as I walk 'cause it reminds me that you're inside me while I work." The young Latina paused. "Guess what else, honey?"
    "I can actually hear it sloshing around in my body while I walk. Isn't that exciting?"
    "That's more than exciting, baby. But I still hate the idea of you doin' all this by yourself." Jeff thought for a moment and then added in an urgent tone, "Will you get done before your parents get home? It could be awful to have them catch you cleanin' sperm off the walls. I mean, that could raise a question or two!"
    Angelica chuckled delightedly. "I sure will be done by then! In fact, they called an hour ago to say they wouldn't be home until three. Hospitals are just so short of people, so it's overtime piled on top of overtime. I'm going to be finished with our messes soon and then...."
    "Then, I'm going to take a bath. A real soak. All the spermatozoa — our wanna-be children, honey! — will swim out of my bottom, float around in the bathwater for a while, and then go down the drain, sniff, sniff. Goodbye, little fellas!"
    "Baby, I'd love to have children with you," Jeff gushed.

Whoops! There goes that runaway mouth again. Could I have possibly come up with a scarier line for a girl I just met than that? I'll be lucky if it doesn't run her off, for goodness sakes! What's the matter with me?

    "Oh, Jeff! That's so sweet of you to say! 'Course, honey, it's gonna to be years before we have any babies — at least it better be years 'n years before we do! If ever we do, that is! — but, golly, I love you for saying that. It's just so much the right thing to have said!"

Well, I did get rapped on the knuckles just a little for my baby comment. Ever so gently! But sweetly, too! What a wonderful girl Angelica is! Now, if I can just keep my mouth under control!

    "I can't wait to see you tomorrow morning!" Jeff gushed.
    "You don't have to come by and pick me up in the morning, you know! I know it's way out of your way? My parents would be glad to take me. Or I could catch the bus."
    "Yes, I know I don't have to but I want to."
    "Great! That's just what I hoped you would say. And I love you for saying it," Angelica added.
    The young beauty paused. Then she added, "Why don't you come by early tomorrow. Like around 7:30? Is that too early? You can have coffee and toast or something with us. Check out the chaos of the Gonzales breakfast table," she giggled. "Plus, you can meet Mama and Daddy. They always make a point of having breakfast with me even if they've worked most of the night. That might be a good way to get the ol' Meet the Parents agony out of the way."
    Jeff's heart leaped. It was going to be exciting and scary to meet her parents!
    The young man decided he'd better let Angelica get back to her chores. Not to mention getting to bed himself so he could be on her doorstep at 7:30. He decided to close by confirming their weekend plans.
    "If you remember, honey, when I was trying to get in your pants this afternoon I asked you out for Friday as well as for Saturday."
    "That's right, you did, didn't you. As if I had forgotten!"
    "Well, I meant it ... are we on?"
    "Of course we're on, silly. My parents will absolutely croak ... two dates in two nights with a new guy." She giggled. "It will remind them of my first two dates with Eddie, 'cept you are a much more presentable guy, honey, than he was. Unlike Eddie, you are a parent's dream. The minute they see you, they'll absolutely approve. I know it!" Angelica happily sighed and then continued, "What are we doin' tomorrow night?"
    "Goin' over to my friend Rick Rex's house. He's throwing a little party in his basement rec room. All my best friends 'n their dates will be there. I want you to meet 'em. I want them to meet you! Then of course there's the New Trier basketball game and pizza on Saturday we talked about."
    Angelica's heart leapt.

Jeff wants me to be with his friends on Friday and Saturday. He's showing me off! How flattering! He really wants to introduce me to his friends. How great! I've had a few first dates where the last thing the guy wanted was to be with a group of any kind. He wanted us to be alone — alone in some out of the way place so he could try 'n get lucky. Yuck! 'Course I love being alone with Jeff! Plus, he can get lucky with me any old time he wants! Still, I was worried that because we made love the first day we met, we might get stuck in a sex groove or something. If things continued at all! It almost looks like Jeff is going out of his way to make sure we have a balanced relationship, so that our first dates are going to involve the sorts of things any new couple would do. It really gets us on an even keel. That's so important to me! It's like Jeff can look into my soul to see my needs — and then satisfy them! This is going to be one great relationship!

    "Oh, honey, that sounds like a wonderful weekend! A perfect weekend!"
    "It will be perfect because we'll be together." Jeff paused. "I hope that's not too many new faces in a short time, though. You know, with Rick's party and then the game 'n Romano's 'n all? Will that be too many new people to throw at you all at once?"
    "Oh, no! I love to meet people! Especially your friends!"
    "What I mean, honey, is that I love being alone with you — there's an understatement! — but I do think it's important for us to be with other people, too. At least once in a while. Plus, I really like the idea of introducing you to my friends. Heck, we don't have to be making love all the time to have a wonderful time together. Though I sure hope there's plenty of that." Jeff paused to catch his breath. "Does that make any sense, sweetheart?"
    "Oh, dearest Jeff — it makes the most wonderful sense in the world. God, I love you, precious, for saying things like that! And even more for acting upon 'em! I feel exactly the same way. I want to be with you 'n your friends. I also want to be with you in private so we can express our feelings for each other. I just want to have it all with you, honey! Public and private! As much time together as we can manage."

A short, relaxed silence then took over. The lovers felt confident enough about themselves and their new relationship that the momentary hush was not only comfortable but fulfilling as well.
    Angelica then spoke but in a very soft, very sexy whisper. "Can you guess what I'm doing, Jeff?"
    "No, what?"
    "The sound of your voice is so exciting that I've started playing with myself."
    "Oh, honey!"
    Angelica giggled. "As if I haven't had enough sex already today!"
    "Baby!" Jeff moaned.
    "I'm really getting wet, too. I'm stroking my soaking wet pussy lips 'n thinkin' 'bout you. It's very exciting! Fact is, it's so exciting that my thick muff is totally soaked!" A long pause ensued, whereupon the buxom Latina asked, "What're you doing, precious?"
    Jeff's voice was a bit strangled. "Actually, I'm getting a little stiff just from listening to you! In fact, I'm growing a real boner!"
    "God! Have you ever talked dirty on the phone before, Jeff?"
    Jeff thought about the likelihood that a conversation like this could ever have taken place with Pam Fox! The thought was mind-boggling! "Never, honey. Absolutely never!"
    "Me neither. This is a first for me." Angelica purred contentedly . "This has been a day of firsts." There was a slight pause, then the giant titted girl asked, "Wanna do some more of this? It's kinda fun!"
    Jeff thought for a moment. His parents were very good about not barging into his room without knocking. In fact, they always waited a few seconds after hearing a "come in" before entering. What's more, you could hear people clomping up the stairs long before they were near his door. As a result, Jeff had never been caught whacking off or anything. Plus, Mr and Mrs Weld were probably already in bed anyway. Thus, all systems were go! You bet he wanted to do some more of it! Right now!
    "Sure, baby ... it sounds like fun ... the next best thing to being there!"
    Angelica giggled again. "Lemme go into my parents' room ... they've got a speaker phone ... that'll leave both my hands free."
    Jeff put the phone down on the bed and wriggled out of his clothes. He already had an amazing hard-on. And to think he had made love six times already today!
    "I'm back, honey ... I'm lyin' on Mama's bed ... I'm really gettin' hot! There ... I took out my tampon. I just slipped my middle finger inside my cunt ... now I'm ramming it in and out ... hmmm ... it's making wet noises 'cause I'm so awfully horny! Hmmm! 'Course, my finger is a whole lot smaller than something that was in there earlier today!"
    Jeff's right hand had traveled down to his groin. He had begun to fondle his throbbing cock. It was starting to become seriously engorged.
    "My breasts are really starting to need some lovin'," Angelica whispered. "There're so huge that I wish I had some help. Like from you, baby. Your big, gentle hands ... your hot mouth ... your thrilling lips ... your sexy tongue! Hmmm! My big breasts just tingle when I think of you. The things you do to them!"
    By this time, Jeff had tightly wrapped his big right hand around his straining cock. He was grunting and groaning as he moved his taut cockskin up and down his shaft. Jeff did not think that beating off had ever been as thrilling as this.
    "Sweetheart, now I'm using two fingers. Now, they're making really loud sucking sounds when I shove 'em in and out of my pussy! You know why? It's all from thinking about you! God, honey ... how I wish it were your giant cock going in and out of my cunt!" There was a short silence punctuated, Jeff thought but was not sure, by soft grunts and groans. "Hmmm, baby," Angelica moaned, "are you gettin' excited, too?"
    Jeff was now bathed in sweat. "Oh, you know it, honey. I'm beating my meat something fierce! Hearing you talk like this is so thrilling!"
    "I'm really glad, honey ... hmmm! ... I'm still wearing Daddy's undershirt. My big breasts are stretching it out so badly that I'm having trouble getting at my tits. I think I'll have to take it off ... right now ... oh, dear ... my breasts are so huge that I can't get the undershirt up and over 'em ... sure wish you were here to help me ... hmmm ... maybe if I wiggle and stretch a little ... oh, honey, you wouldn't believe the way this ol' undershirt is binding my breasts ... ugh! ... there! I got it off, honey. My goodness — the way they're bouncing and jiggling! Now, honey, I'm going to lick my tits. Suck 'em, too. I sure wish it was you doin' it, though!"
    Jeff was now pulling frantically on his mule-sized cock. This dirty talk was so arousing!
    "Hmmm ... baby! ... my breasts have gotten even bigger than when you were here ... hmmm ... I'm trying to hoist one of 'em up to my mouth ... oh, dear ... it's so heavy. They might have swollen up to 32Ts!" Angelica paused. "Or maybe even bigger, lover. They're so huge right now. All on account of you, precious."
    Jeff's stiffened body was starting to bow. He was not going to last much longer! Especially not with sexy talk like this! His feverish, sex-soaked brain began to imagine Angelica cradling a colossal tit in both hands and licking away at the mind-boggling mass of breast flesh. And then sucking tit cum out of her fossilized nipples. Man! Maybe they really were T-cups right now! Wow! The thought was so exciting that Jeff's straining cock was now fully extended — maybe more than fully extended!
    "Honey, I'm going off the air for a bit. I'm going to lick my big areola, and then suck my nipple. I'll get back to you."
    Jeff could hear some vague slurpy sounds in the earpiece. Was it the sound of Angelica licking her tits and sucking her nipples? Then, he heard some groans and grunting ... and then silence. In the meantime, he pulled on his throbbing pecker with even greater intensity.
    "Oh, baby! I came while I was sucking my tits. Are you gonna come too?"
    "Y ... y ... yes, honey ... real, real soon!"
    "That's so exciting, honey. Guess what? I discovered I can crook an arm around one of my breasts and leverage it up to my mouth. I can use the other hand to finger fuck myself ... Oh, oh, oh! ... It's so exciting ... I've never sucked my tits and played with myself before ... ever ... the wet, sucking sounds are so exciting! I've got all four fingers goin' in 'n out! Oh, honey, I'm coming ... again!"
    "Baby!" Jeff groaned. He was almost sobbing with desire! "I'm pulling on my giant cock so hard right now. It's so stiff! I'm going to blow it out any second now! Oh, precious! Hearing that tit talk from you is so thrilling! It's getting me so awfully hot and bothered!"
    "Oh, honey," Angelica moaned, "that's so great! I'm coming again! Can you believe it? Come too, honey ... come with me! Right this second!"
    Jeff's mind's eye was entirely filled with a vision of Angelica's impossibly gorgeous face and huge, quivering bosom. He could feel his nerves start to snap, crackle, and pop!
    "Oh, oh, ugh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Precious, oh, oh! I'm coming again!" Angelica was now screaming uncontrollably. Jeff imagined Angelica's fabulous, improbably buxom body clenching, shuddering, and migrating all over the bed.
    Jeff squeezed his hand even harder around his straining hard-on. He was vigorously stroking the huge member. Each stroke made his giant cock feel as it was being struck by lightning! He was soon helplessly groaning — he was almost there! God! Was he ever!
    The pre-orgasmic fellow dropped the phone to the pillow and wrapped his other hand around his steel-hard shaft. He was now beating his meat with two hands. This was more like it. Seconds later, Jeff was there! "Me, too!" he screamed in the general direction of the mouthpiece.
    The giant-cocked teenager was soon shuddering and grunting as unimaginable chills, thrills, spasms, and convulsions commandeered his body. His entire frame was bowed with the strength of his onrushing orgasm.
    The unbelievable shakes and clenching thrills got stronger and stronger. Jeff was now stroking his meat like a madman. Suddenly, an unbelievably urgent eight-foot-long clot of semen utterly exploded out of his cockhead. It splattered all over the ceiling. Wow!
    Only seconds later, another huge clot of jism — nearly as long as its predecessor! — went flying into the air. This one seemed to miss the ceiling — but just barely! The overpowering orgasm went on and on. Another rope of spunk flew out, this time about five feet into the air. Then another. And another. And yet another. Angelica's beautiful face and fabulous figure could sure do a job on a fellow — even over the telephone!
    Jeff figured that by now he had been blasting jism for a couple of minutes at least. He showed no signs of slowing down. Heroic ejaculation after heroic ejaculation continued to erupt from his jerking cock. Three minutes later, his cock was still spurting seed. Lots of it, too! Wow! The gray, sticky stuff was just everywhere!

After an inconceivable six minutes Jeff's clenching, shuddering orgasm had finally subsided. The couple's phone sex had actually produced one of the longest, most thrilling, and most productive cums of the day. Jeff knew all about the theory that guys have their strongest orgasms while whacking off. Maybe it was true — at least if the likes of Angelica Gonzalez were on the line helping it along!
    Jeff picked up the phone. "Are you there, honey?"
    "Sure am," he heard.
    "I apologize. I got so excited I just dropped the phone so I could use both hands."
    Angelica laughed delightedly. "Just like I did," she admitted.
    A comfortable pause ensued. "Honey, it was so great!" Jeff said.
    "For me too," Angelica added. "It was fabulous!"
    Jeff then laughed. "Only thing is, after making a mess over at your place, I come over here and do the same to my bedroom." He paused. "No complaints, though!" The lovers then fell into a short, comfortable silence.
    Angelica then broke in. "Speaking of messes, I guess I'd better get back to mine. It's really getting late! Plus, this little telephone call has made some new messes over here as well. I'm gonna hafta do another load of wash 'cause there are huge wet spots all over my mother's bed. That'll never do — gotta clean it up! So ... time to go! See you in the morning, sweetheart."
    "You too, precious ... oh, and by the way, I just thought of something ... Sunday! Does your family go to church on Sundays?"
    "Yes, we go to Mass every Sunday. This'll be our first Sunday in town, though, so we have to find a new parish. One of our neighbors suggested Our Lady of Ransom over in Niles. It's probably the closest Catholic church to our place. We might try that."
    "Well, I was thinking ... we usually get back from church around one and then have a big Sunday dinner. It's sorta a Weld family tradition. How 'bout you coming over on Sunday? I'll pick you up. That way, you can meet my parents. You know, that way we'll have all that meet the family stuff over and done with. On both ends."
    There was a slight pause. "That sounds scary!" The over dimensioned Latina paused a moment more. "Necessary, too. But fun! Plus, it means I can be with you! I'd love to, Jeff. I'd like to meet your family of course — it's important! I think the sooner we meet each other's parents the better."

It will be scary! Introducing my Latina girl friend to my WASPy, New England-bred, Episcopalian parents! But I don't think they have a prejudiced bone in their bodies. Not one! Unlike some other Park Ridge families I could mention! They're really going to like Angelica. Still, it'll be great to get that part of the deal over with. Hmmm! Come to think of it, I think Dad in particular is going to love Angelica! I remember back in junior high when Rick Rex and I found those big tit magazines in Dad's underwear drawer. What were they, anyway? Let's see ... Fling? That's right! Fling! Man! They were full of girls with the biggest tits I'd ever seen! Until today, that is! Anyway, if those skin mags are any indication, Dad is going to like Angelica just fine. And Mom? Well, she pretty much goes along with whatever I want, so long as I'm showing "maturity" and "good sense!" I think I can count on Dad to back me up on that score! Yep ... they'll be just fine with Angelica!

    "Great!" Jeff enthused.
    Angelica yawned a delicious yawn. "Hmmm ... it's the hour not the company, darling. But I gotta go 'n finish up here. Really. I can't wait to see you in the morning, though."
    "Me neither! Till then, precious. Night, lover," Jeff whispered.

Jeff lay contentedly on his bed. He was fondling his softening mega-cock with both hands. It occurred to him that he had started the day with much more than a handful in the person of Pam Fox. A handful in a very unpleasant, behavioral sense, however. What a hard to handle bitch she was! Had been! But wouldn't be any more. Not for him, anyway!
    Later in the day, of course, he had switched to much more than a handful in the person of Angelica. When you compared Pam and Angelica, this identical phrase had such a different meaning altogether when applied to the gorgeous Latina beauty! For one thing Angelica was a physical rather than a behavioral handful. For another, the experience was pleasant, not oppressive.
    Come to think of it, Jeff realized, he was lying in bed that very moment engaged with much more than a handful in quite a different sense — the fourteen inches of softening cock he was fondling. Truly, as Angelica herself had remarked, that too was much more than a handful! What a day for handfuls! Handfuls-plus!
    Jeff got up, brushed his teeth, and set the alarm for six so he would have enough time to change the bed linens. He had grabbed a wad of tissue paper with which to wipe the ceiling. It would not do for his mother to discover splattered sperm all over the place. His bedtime oblations completed, the young man sank back into bed and slipped under the covers. Almost without realizing it, he began to play with his genitals, as if on autopilot.
    As he tried to get to sleep, steamy visions of Angelica raced through his sex-saturated brain. His mind's eye was very busy! Overheated, too! The way in the Deans' office her watermelon tits had strained and stretched against the ready-to-pop threads of her tight sweater while she was thrusting her giant whoppers in Jeff's direction ... the fabulous leg-and-thigh show she put on while sitting in her big wooden chair waiting to see Dean Iliff ... the way her impossibly curved rump swiveled as she walked down the hall to room 226 ... their first tentative hugs and kisses down by her locker ... the short but unbelievably erotic make-out session in his car before getting busted by Ossifer Al ... the sight of her massive breasts once again straining against her sweater as the two of them stood staring bug eyed at each other in the apartment, knowing that some really hot kissing and petting — if not more! — was in the offing ... their fabulous face swallowing, French kissing on the couch ... his first feel of Angelica's massive, sweater-clad tits in his trembling hands ... the lush feel of her super-curved ass cheeks in his hot, squeezing hands ... the way her soft, warm, colossal — and finally naked — jugs felt in his hands as he hoisted them up to his hungry lips ... his harder than hard cock sliding in and out of her silken, lubricated cunt ... his first thrilling orgasm with the shockingly buxom beauty, followed almost immediately by a second one ... the goddamn undershirt! ... fucking in the kitchen chair ... getting sucked off by Angelica ... fucking her massive tits ... taking her from the rear and going so deep! ... their torrid phone sex ... and above all the knowledge that this was just a beginning ... that there was going to be lots and lots more sex and companionship and love down a road that stretched further than the eye could see! This relationship was going to be so great!

Wow! I'm hard as a rock! Again! How is that even possible? I mean, I've had, let's see, seven orgasms already today! Is an eighth pop even possible? Hmmm ... maybe with Angelica on the brain, all things are possible. Besides, how can you argue with a hard-on like this? It's a fact! I do know one thing for sure. There's only one way to find out. From the state of this hard-on, I'd better give it a try if I'm ever going to get any sleep tonight ... Man! Let's move that ol' foreskin up and down a few times. Wow! That feels so good! I can see Angelica's whoppers exploding out of Daddy's undershirt as she walks towards me in the kitchen! Look at the way her giant tits quiver and wobble! Wow! Do I have another one in me? Hmmm ... I think it's safe to say I'll know the answer very, very soon. Just a few more strokes ... uhhh ... guess what, folks — the answer is going to be ... ughh .... O YES O YES O YESSSSS!


Part Six
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