"I KNOW, I KNOW, I'm sorry. Really sorry."
"You mean rilly-rilly sorry, don't you?" Angelica was still hovering near the door.
"You can come in, you know. I won't eat you." Smegs grinned. "Or maybe I will, if you'll let me."
"Are you hungry, Mee-gan?"
"Maybe some of those kippers from the restaurant. At least, I assume it's kippers. If it's girl, someone's got a personal hygiene problem. Come over here and let me look at you. So you just growed, did you? Overnight?"
"It's true. You know I wouldn't use Sexual Chemistry. There could be anything in that stuff. Besides, not even Grow Cream Super XL Magnum Mega-Mammoth Mammavast Double-Strength Ultra Plus Special Brew Two would have made me grow this much."
"They don't call it that any more. Are you going to take that sweater off and show me properly?"
"I don't know if it will come off. I had to fight to get it on. You might need to get it off with scissors. It's really me, though."
"I can tell. It feels real. Taut and full of milk."
"It's not just milk. I've just been milked almost dry, and I'm still vast."
"How big are they?" Smegs licked her lips and chewed her lip. "You were measuring them when I came in."
"I don't know. It kept slipping off my moons: there was so much milk around, I couldn't keep it on there."
"You didn't measure them? Where's the tape?"
"In my room."
"I've got one here somewhere." Smegs began rummaging in one of her drawers. Embarrassingly abbreviated flimsies floated into the room, followed by love letters, lacy hankies and packets of contraceptive devices. She ripped the drawer out of its slot and started on the next one down. It seemed to be filled with used panties. "Shit, where is it? Ahhh, what's this? Yessss! Oh no! Wollocks. It's only sixty inches. You're bigger than...?"
"I was bigger than that yesterday. I'm a lot bigger than that now." Angelica stood tall and took a deep breath. The orange sweater creaked audibly.
"Where did you get that sweater?"
"Off a girl. She'd outgrown it. It isn't really my colour."
"No, I can see that."
"It's all I've got, though, until I can see Shan or somebody big and borrow something. I think this girl was about a seventy-inch bust. She was in the Third Form."
"Little bitch," Smegs snarled. "Seventy? And she gave the sweater away because it was too small? So you're at least seventy inches, too?" A sheen of sweat had formed on her forehead.
"Oooh, easily. I mean, look how tight it is. I must be miles bigger than seventy."
"Take it off, Angelica!"
"I said, I can't. It's too tight. Maybe after tea. I haven't had anything since last night. I've just realised I'm starving. That smell of kippers is getting stronger and more tempting every minute."
"No, sorry, that's me," Smegs admitted with a blush. "But if we go to the restaurant now, can we measure them afterwards. Please? Pwlease, Angelica?"
"Maybe. We'll see. I'll slip some jeans on and we'll go have a bite to eat. I want to tell you something. I had this rilly-rilly weird dream."
"Look at her! Shannie, look!"
I was already looking. "Shit! Oh, my God!"
"It worked."
"She's immense!"
"Where did she get that sweater?"
"It's not too small. It's Angelica that is too big."
"It worked, Shan!"
"It's obscene. She's bulging out of the bottom of it. You can nearly see her nipples."
"What are we going to do?"
"Do?"
"Do. If she's grown that much overnight, she'll be exploding in another week."
"As long as that?"
"Maybe sooner."
"Where did she get that sweater, Pan?"
"Off Wendy Whossname. She grew out of it."
"So's Miss Grimbo! Hey, that stuff rilly-rilly worked!"
"Where did she get that sweater, Tee?"
"Dunno, she must be colour blind."
"Yeah, somebody ought to tell her she shouldn't wear orange." Helvetica sniffed critically. "She's our teacher. She's letting down the First Form, wearing a horrible colour like that. We'll all be a laughing stock." She lifted an abandoned kipper from Geraldine's plate and folded it into a slice of bread. She took a bite and made a decision. Standing up, she made a formal announcement. "I'm going to see the headmistress."
Her classmates gasped as Helvetica stalked off across the restaurant.
"Don't talk with your mouth full, Helvetica," I reprimanded her. "Swallow your kipper sandwich and try again."
It took her a while. A fishbone had become lodged in her throat and we had to turn her upside down and make her drink lots of glasses of water. An excited crowd gathered, offering advice.
"You should loosen her clothing, Miss."
"Her tits have fallen out, Miss."
"Shall I hold them for you, Miss?"
"Should we give her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, Miss?"
"Go away," I ordered sternly. "There's nothing to see here. Move along. Get back to your tables."
The girls dispersed reluctantly, grumbling. Red-faced and hoarse, Helvetica sat up and began stuffing her breasts back into her obscenely low-cut T-shirt.
"Now, what did you want, Helvetica?"
She wiped her eyes on her T-shirt and her breasts tumbled out again; this time, out of the bottom of it. "It's Miss Grimbo, Miss. Look at her sweater."
I didn't need any further invitation. I looked at Angelica's sweater. Eventually, Corinne tapped me on the shoulder. "Shan?"
"What about Miss Grimbeau's sweater?" I asked Helvetica with dignity.
"Look at the colour of it. It's a disgrace, Miss. She's our Form teacher and she's supposed to be a role model. A figurehead. A fashion icon. She shouldn't be wearing orange!" She sounded outraged.
I felt Corinne's hand grip my arm. "Thank you, Helvetica," she said. "We'll have a word with Miss Grimbeau later. Go back to your table and put your breasts away."
"What's the matter? That's my arm, when you've done with it."
"Ooops! Sorry! But you heard what she said? Look at Angelica's sweater..."
I didn't need any further invitation. I looked at Angelica's sweater. Eventually, Corinne tapped me on the shoulder again. "Shan?"
"W-wha...?"
"What do you see when you look at her? What did you say when she walked in?"
"I said she looked huge."
"Immense, actually."
"She's grown."
"Exactly. She's grown. But what did Helvetica say about her?"
"She didn't say anything for a long time. She choked on a fishbone. We had to turn her upside down and her tits fell out. Helvetica's a very big girl for her age, Cee. Should we have given her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, do you think?"
"Shan, try to concentrate, please."
"Concentrate?"
"Helvetica never even mentioned the size of Angelica's bust. She only mentioned that ghastly orange sweater..."
"She's right, you know. That is an awful colour on her. I've got a nice black sweater that would fit her. I wonder if she would mind if I offered it to her. She wouldn't be upset, would she...?"
"I don't know." Corinne laid her hand on mine and squeezed softly. "It would be very kind of you. But listen. Read my lips. Helvetica only mentioned the colour of Angelica's sweater, not the size. She doesn't even know she's bigger."
"She doesn't know? How?"
"We've got a problem. There's an anomaly. We both know why Angelica has grown, and we can see that she has. The Fuckh Machine has done this, but it has screwed up again. You know what it's like. We know the truth about why Angelica's sweater doesn't fit. But Helvetica — and some of the girls — don't even know she's any bigger. They haven't even noticed. Yet she must be a foot bigger than she was yesterday. How can you miss something like that?"
"Yeah," I said dreamily.
"Come on, Shannie. We've got work to do." She grabbed my hand and pulled me up from my seat. I had to really dig my heels in until she let me go back to pick up the remains of my kipper sandwich.
"It was rilly-rilly weird. I was a kinda General..."
"A general what?"
"A General. Like in an army. Only the army was all girls. St Cat's girls. It was the St Cat's Army. We were going to fight a battle. Everyone was in it, Cee, you and Miss Gruntworthy..."
"What did I do?" Smegs asked eagerly. "Was I the Commander in Chief?"
"No, that was me. You were a loo-tenant, or something. You and Shan. Cee was my..."
"Me? A loo-tenant. I mean, a lef-tenant? You were in charge of me?"
"Look, it was my dream, okay? Do you want to hear about it or not?"
"Go on." Smegs sounded less than impressed.
"Well, I had this chariot, pulled by six oily boys..." Angelica paused, and quelled Smegs's interruption with a glare. "Six boys covered in oil. And Cee was my handmaiden. She looked after me, got me out of bed and wheeled me about on the Angelic-O-Glyde..."
"The what?"
"A kinda platform thing to move me around the Wendy House." Smegs closed her mouth. It would be best to save all her interruptions until Angelica had finished speaking. "I had a twenty-foot bust, of course," Angelica remarked modestly.
"Oh, of course!"
"Well, we had this battle, against a bunch of girls from the other schools. And we won."
"That was it? You won?"
"No, we won. St Cat's. You won as well."
"Gee, thanks for letting me help."
"And when I woke up, I had these." Angelica breathed in and surveyed her expansive chest with pride. "You know, at first, I was rilly-rilly mad, you know? But I think I quite like them now. They're not as big as some of the girls', but they're a lovely shape. Not floppy, like Shan's. A bit like yours, really, only about four times as big."
Smegs bared her teeth in a snarl.
"I think it's time you helped me get this sweater off, though. If the milk comes in when I'm stuffed into a too-tight sweater, I might do some damage to the walls. Do you have any scissors?"
Smegs did. They appeared in her hand about two seconds later. Big powerful scissors with red handles.
"Be careful where you're snipping. Ouch! They're cold!"
"Sorry!"
"Just there. Right, you have to cut straight through the bottom of the sweater, that ribbed part. Can you see what you're doing?"
"Yeah." Smegs's voice was muffled.
"Good, 'cos I can't. Go on then. Do it!"
Smegs did it.
"We need to ask everyone in the school if they've noticed Angelica's suddenly grown overnight."
"But they've only got to look at her to see..."
"No, Shannie. Remember Helvetica? Let's assume she hasn't noticed. Yet it's not because she hasn't been looking at Angelica. She noticed her sweater all right. But she sees nothing unusual about her size. As far as she is concerned, and probably her classmates, too, Angelica has always been this big."
My brain hurt. "My brain hurts, Cee."
"Okay. Let's just say they know Angelica is always growing, how about that? To the girls, she's just like one of themselves; they can relate to someone whose breasts are still growing all the time. We need to find out who has noticed. Once we know that, we can perhaps work out what action to take."
"You mean you can put it right? Make her the size she was before?"
"It's not as easy as that. The Fuckh Machine only does what I think it to do. But if we know what action to take, we stand a better chance of getting the machine to do the right things."
"You mean making Angelica smaller again?"
"Among other things, of course."
"Oh."
"It might not work, though."
"Oh, good! I like her the way she is."
"But she might not stay the way she is. If she's grown a foot overnight, we have no idea how big she might end up..."
"Good! That's just the way I like her!"
"Anyway, we need to ask everyone the question, but we don't want them to know why we're asking, or they will give the answer they think we want to hear. We have to interview the whole school, and those who have been interviewed mustn't have any contact with those we haven't seen yet."
"We can never do that. It's a huge job!"
"We organised the interview of the breast carriers, didn't we? Or rather, I did. This will be much simpler than that."
"But the recruiting of the breast carriers ended up in a huge orgy, and half the girls got pregnant."
"That shouldn't happen this time, Shan," Corinne said airily.
I wished I could share her confidence.
"They're huge, Angelica!"
"I think they are bigger, Mee-gan. It might just be the milk coming in, or I might be still growing. You'd better measure them now to make sure. Then we can do it again every few hours."
"Oooh, yes, yes, yes!"
"You'd better go fetch my long tape. That piddly little thing isn't even big enough for your bust."
Smegs was back within thirty seconds, her nipples arriving ten seconds earlier. Panting, she applied the tape to Angelica's broad, powerful back, her achingly, explodingly, staggeringly full watermelon breasts, shiny like melting chocolate...
"No, measure my other bits first. If you get carried away with my bust, you'll never get around to my waist and hips."
"I wanna see..."
"It will only take you a minute, Mee-gan."
Smegs wailed in frustration and scuttled round behind Angelica with the tape. Once there, out of sight, she was unable to control her bodily fluids. "Oh, fucking hell," she ejaculated, more or less literally.
"What are you doing back there?" Angelica giggled.
"Nothing!"
"Get on with it, then, before the milk comes in..."
"Ooooh! Woo-woo-woo!
"Well, what is it?" The tape had finally snaked its way round her waist. It felt cold and wet. God knew where it had been.
"Twenty-something."
"That's good..."
"Twenty-five? Twenty-five!"
"You don't need to pull it so tight. You'll cut me in half!"
"I'm not. I can get it down to twenty-two when I pull it real tight. It's still twenty-five normally."
"Wow! All right! A pity about my hips. They're gonna be something rilly-rilly shameful, I just know..."
"Forty..."
"Oh, no...!
"Forty-two, three..."
"Don't tell me! Don't dare say it out loud!"
"Forty-four!"
"Sheesh!"
"No, hang on. I got it wrong. It's forty-two. I had a knot tied in it."
"It's still shameful. Come on, then, you can do my bust now."
"Woo-woo-woo-woo! Oh, fuck! Who's that at the door?"
"Who is it?" Angelica sang out above the sounds of Smegs climaxing yet again.
"It's us. Shannie and Cee..."
"What do they want?"
"We have to let them in, Meegs, they know we're in here."
Smegs groaned. If a girl couldn't have privacy in her own room, where could she be alone? "Come in..."
"We need to ask you a question, Smegs. Are you feeling all right," I asked her solicitously. She was bent double, probing at her loins with both hands.
"Was that it? You barged in here just to ask me if I was feeling all right?"
"That wasn't the question. But you seemed to be having a tummy-ache or something."
"I was half-way through coming, that's what!" Smegs can be so coarse sometimes. Corinne and I both blushed prettily. I will give Angelica the benefit of the doubt and say she did, too.
"The question was, what did you think of Angelica's sweater?" It was a beautifully crafted question, framed so as to give Smegs no idea of the motive for asking it.
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
See what I mean?
"Her sweater," said Corinne helpfully. "This one." She picked up the sweater from the floor. It was damp and somewhat funky. "Oops! It seems to have split."
"We had to cut it off," Smegs gritted, apparently about to come again. "It was about half a mile too small."
I exchanged signficant glances with Corinne. "It was too small. Anything else about it that you noticed? Or perhaps about Angelica?"
"What is this? The Spanish Inquisition? I cut Angelica's sweater off because it was too tight to come off over her head. It doesn't matter about the sweater: it's a horrible colour anyway."
"Thank you, Smegs," I snapped in a businesslike manner. "No further questions at this time. We'll leave you to it." And I took Corinne's arm and led her from the room.
"What was all that about?" she asked me as soon as we were out in the corridor and the orgasmic moaning had resumed in Smegs's room.
"The answer to your question. She hasn't noticed that Angelica's grown at all. All Smegs would say was that the sweater was a horrible colour and it was too tight for her. Not that Angelica was too big for the sweater: it was too tight for her. QED. That's Latin," I explained. "It means quod erat something. Desperandum." It didn't sound quite right, but Corinne didn't object. She just sighed deeply.
"I'm not sure..."
"Trust me, Cee! Your idea is brilliant. All we need to do is to ask all the girls the same question. We don't need to ask them individually, that's a waste of time. We'll ask them in their dorms."
"I'm not sure that's a good idea, Shannie..."
"It's a brilliant idea. You have to have confidence in your ideas, Cee. We'll start straight away."
"But that wasn't my idea. I wanted to..."
"We'll do it now. We can start with the Senior girls and work our way down the corridor to the Firsts. They won't be able to compare notes: they're confined to their own dorms at this time of night. Come on!"
"It doesn't matter how big they were. The milk's come in now. There's no point in measuring them now they're all swollen up like this. Look at the things, Meegs!"
"I am, I am! Let me measure them, Puss, please!"
"No, we've got nicer things to do. Have drinkie-winkies!"
"Wooooh!" Smegs came explosively.
"Get up! You can't have drinkie-winkies lying down there. Ooh, I don't know, though. Maybe you can. Here you go. Open wide! Wider! No, wider than that. Pussy's nipple is so big! Can you get both in your mouth at the same time?"
"Mmmnnllmmpfff!"
"I can't hear a word you're saying, Meegs!" Angelica removed both spraying spigots and wiped Smegs's milky face. "What did you say?"
"Put them back."
"Why can't you make your mind up, silly! There you are. Lots of great big wet drinkie-winkies for Mee-gan. Is that nice? Yes! Oh, yes, that's so good! Wow. Woo-woo-woo-wow!
We tiptoed back up the stairs. Muffled sounds of orgasm came from Smegs's room and we had to clap our hands over our ears to avoid hearing them.
After about ten minutes, crouched outside her door side by side, we'd had enough.
"Come on to my room, Cee. We can work out the results of our survey. Bring your notebook."
"THERE WE ARE. They all think she's been growing ever since she came to the school, and she didn't get bigger overnight. None of them liked the colour of her sweater. So we're the only ones who know she grew overnight."
"I'm not so sure..."
"What are you not so sure about? We've seen them all, we've asked the question, they've answered."
"What about the Woods cousins?"
"What about them?"
"They weren't in the dorm when you asked the question. They were in the loo. Then when they came back in, you didn't ask them the right question."
"I did!"
"No! Shannie, the other girls were going on about Angelica not being able to wear orange, and when Suzanne and Pansy joined in, you said, "What about the way she was exploding out of her sweater, then!"
"That's all right," I said defensively.
"It wasn't the proper question. Suzanne said yeah, she must have grown a foot overnight, and Pansy said it was nearer half a metre. And then that fight broke out and we had to leave."
"Yeah, I don't like watching girls fighting in their nightdresses. It's far too disturbing."
Corinne shook her head. She obviously agreed with me. "And I'm not sure about the First Form," she said.
"What about them?"
"They wouldn't say anything. Helvetica didn't seem to have changed her story since teatime, but Valentina just sort of clammed up. The others wouldn't answer either. And where was Sally Chung?"
"Haven't seen her since she chased after that Vanessa girl this morning at Sex. She must be still chasing her."
"I think that's another anomaly, Shan. It sounds like one of those surreal things the Fuckh Machine throws up from time to time."
"So what are you going to do?"
"I'll have to think about it."
"Be careful, Cee! Don't think too hard. You know what happened last time."
"They wanted to know about Sexual Chemistry. That's why I didn't tell them anything." Valentina strode bouncily around the dorm. Now that Sally Chung seemed to have disappeared, Valentina was in a position to exercise her authority.
There was a brief hiatus while the door burst open and Vanessa charged straight through the dorm and out of the fire door at the other end. Sally was twenty yards behind and blowing heavily. She clutched at her breasts as she ran.
"But they never even mentioned Sexual Chemistry," said Helvetica. "You mean Puff? Or Love? Or Grow Cream Super XL Magnum Mega-Mammoth Mammavast Double-Strength Ultra Plus2?"
"It's not called that any more," Geraldine interjected. The class glared at her until she curled up on her bed in the foetal position, sobbing gently.
"They never mentioned it in so many words, but that was what they were talking about. There's going to be a crackdown on Sexual Chemistry. If you've got any hidden away, you'd better get rid of it, or hide it away from the dorms." She was rubbing cream on to her breasts as she spoke.
"What's that stuff?"
"Just plain cream, nothing. I'm just using it up. Anyway, all that stuff about Miss Grimbo's boobs growing was just a red herring."
"You mean like a kipper?"
The class stared at Geraldine again.
"We all know Miss Grimbo grows all the time. They're trying to make out we've been creaming her. There's no way they're gonna pin it on us."
"If she's growing all the time, why doesn't she ever get any bigger?"
They glared at Geraldine again. "Why don't you shut up?"
"No, I mean! She's been here since the beginning of term. She's growing all the time, right?"
They were still staring at Geraldine and she blushed violently, but she stuck to her guns.
"Say she's growing about half as fast as us..."
"Why?"
"Because she's ancient and we're only eleven. We're bound to grow faster."
"The kid's got a point," said Valentina, and Geraldine swelled visibly with pride. "Carry on, Geri..."
"If you look at us, I mean me. I've grown from nothing to this big. Valentina was huge to start with but she's still grown loads and loads." Geraldine blushed even more hotly. "And Helvetica has grown more than anybody."
"So?"
"Well, why hasn't Miss Grimbo? Why, if she's growing all the time, is she still exactly the same size as she was when she started?"
Silence, as the First Form considered this appalling logic.
"What you're saying," said Valentina slowly, "is that Miss Grimbo is growing all the time, like she said, but she's not getting any bigger?"
"I think so." It didn't seem to make much sense to Geraldine.
"In that case, and we're the only ones who have noticed, it's down to us!"
"Down to us?"
"How?"
"We're the only ones who know, so we're the only ones who can put it right. We're going to have to cream Miss Grimbo."
"She is, I tell you. You only have to look at the woman to see that!" Pansy stood with her hands on her hips. From the front, of course, nobody would ever know, as her breasts were wider than her elbows. But it wasn't the pose that was important, it was the principle of the thing.
"Pan's right," said Suzanne, climbing into bed. "Miss Grimbo is at least a foot bigger than she was yesterday."
The quadrangle clock struck ten unnecessarily loudly and the main dormitory lights went out. "People don't grow huge breasts overnight," a voice objected from the gloom.
"Of course they do," said Pansy, shocked. "It happens all the time. Not quite as much as Miss Grimbo, but it happens. Remember what's-her-name? That girl the Pasha Mandingo of Cantelopia bought? She grew so big she couldn't get her tits out of the door, and it only took her a week."
"She wasn't a teacher, though."
"What's that got to do with it?"
"Only girls can have rilly-rilly big tits. Not teachers. Look at all the biggest tits in the school. There's Michaela ... Anastasia ... your big sister." The girl ticked off the names on her fingers. "Then there's Rumiko and some of the girls in the Seniors. And even some of those ten and eleven-year-olds in the First Form are huge. Look at that Sally Chung."
They all obediently looked at Sally Chung as she burst in through a window. She carried a huge Maglite, almost four feet long, which she flashed around the dorm. She was panting heavily, apparently looking for someone. Then she turned with resignation and left the same way as she had arrived.
"And there's Nurse's young Jenufa!"
"Yeah, you should see the tits on that kid!"
"And they're all girls. What teacher has got tits even half as big as those?"
"Miss Gruntworthy," suggested Pansy.
"Garbage. She hangs down to her knees, but that's just 'cos she's got long dangly tits. Most of us are bigger than her. We'd all have ten-foot busts if we hung down as far as that."
"I wouldn't mind only being ten feet again," Pansy sighed. "That extra two or three feet only gets in the way of the action."
The girls chose to ignore this heresy.
"Miss Grimbo's still growing. She told us just after she arrived." Suzanne was adamant.
"In that case, why isn't she huge by now?"
Pansy sighed theatrically. "She is! We keep telling you. She's at least seventy inches now. Her bust must be nearly half as big as mine! That's huge for a grown-up."
"If she carries on at this rate, she won't be able to get through doorways in another couple of days," said Suzanne. "Are you still going to say she isn't growing?"
"She is growing."
"She's just not getting any bigger."
Silently, the girls considered this nightmare scenario.
"You know what this means?" It was a voice from the darkness. "We have to do something about making her the right size."
"You don't mean...?"
"Yes. One of us is going to have to cream Miss Grimbo.
In their adjacent beds, Suzanne and Pansy came out in a simultaneous cold sweat. The thought was so deeply disturbing, they both stopped what they were doing with their fingers.
"Mmmmm, that's nice, Meegs!"
"Woo-woo-woo..."
"You know something else about my dream...?"
"Woo-woo-what about it?"
I was living in this lovely little Wendy House in the woods. I suppose that means the battle was just over the fields. Is there a kinda valley over there, with a little stream at the bottom, and sheep...?"
Smegs rolled on to her back. Why could some lovers never stop talking? "A valley? Yeah, of course. You can see it from the top of the hill. You must have seen it, surely?"
"I've never been over the fields. But in my dream, we left the Wendy House and went through the woods, down a path and through a gate..."
"That's right. You must have been down that way."
"No, I've never seen it. Really! Then we went up this hill, and on top, we could look down and there was this valley."
"I know. I told you. It's just over the way, about half a mile."
"It is? Wow!"
"Of course it is!"
"And the enemy were all lined up on the other side of the valley, and Sergeant-Major Labia gave the order, and..."
"Who?"
"Labia. She was the Sergeant-Major. Is that a sergeant or a major?"
"Neither."
"Strange things, armies," Angelica mused. "And there was this little bugle girl and her lips were too dry to blow anything..."
"Doesn't sound much like a St Cat's girl to me..."
"Until I kissed her and then she sounded the advance as clear as a bell."
"What then?"
"We advanced, of course. Then we won."
"You won? Just like that? Don't we get any casualties, and fallen standards plucked from the river bed and held aloft amid the explosions and the boiling mud from the howitzers and the schnäbelwerfen?"
"The what? This was a girls' battle. We didn't have any nasty noisy guns and things. There was a bit of blood, but the Tampax squad soon had it under control."
"Funny thing, though." Smegs stroked Angelica's hair. Both of them shuddered involuntarily. "There was a battle in that valley during the Civil War. Thousands killed. The girls have a field trip there for history now and again. Or they did, until Molly Malone screwed it up. She gave them a lecture about the effects of gunpowder on the ozone layer."
"That's rilly-rilly spooky, Meegs."
"Well, you know what she's like. She's against everything."
"No, not Molly Malone. I mean the battle, and everything. I swear I haven't been to that valley. I didn't even know about it, but it was still in my dream. It makes me wonder..."
"Wonder what?" Smegs was getting a bit impatient. She wanted some serious sex without conversation.
"If that part of my dream was true, how much of the rest of it is going to come true, too?"
"Dreams don't come true, Puss. They're just jumbled-up thoughts in your head."
"The battlefield was true and I'd never even seen it. What if my bust carried on getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger until it was twenty feet? They were huge, Meegs! They rested on the floor in front of me. The only way to get around was by using my chariot and the Angelic-O-Glyde. If I've grown this much since last night, I could need a chariot in a couple weeks!"
Smegs sat bolt upright and stared at Angelica. She looked her up and down, picturing a twenty-foot bust in a fashionable shade of dark chocolate. "How big were your nipples, Puss?"
"I don't know," Angelica giggled girlishly. "I couldn't see them. My moons must have been about two feet across, judging by the size of the sucker-sockets on the chariot. They felt easily that big when I bumped into anything..."
"You could feel that, in your dream?"
"Of course. I told you it was realistic. The sky was blue, the grass was green..."
"Yeah, yeah! So how did you get through doorways, if your dream went into such vivid detail?"
"Like I said, I had this Wendy House in the woods. The doors slid open on runners, and they opened wide, like the whole wall opened up to let the Angelic-O-Glyde through. How long would it take them to build a Wendy House like that for me, Meegs?"
"Not long. We used to have one for one of the girls. She grew enormous, and gave gallons of milk! They had to build her a Wendy House. She was no age at all, too..."
"Wow! How do you mean, no age at all? She must have been some age..."
"She was in the Juniors, but she started a couple of years younger than usual. They let her join the school ‘cos her tits were so big. She's left now, working at her sister's dairy in Fillamore Deepleigh. But I reckon they could build you a place like that in about a day. Maybe two days to finish all the sliding doors and stuff. And lay the carpets. And then we'd have to choose the curtains and the bed covers and things. I'd like blue and green..."
"Like the sky and the grass..."
"Not orange..."
"Like my horrible sweater, no..."
"And the kitchen could have fitted oak cupboards and quarry tiles on the floor and spotlights in the ceiling..."
"With dimmer switches..."
"With dimmer switches, and all sorts of labour-saving devices. It might take an extra day to install all that, but we could move in before then, while the men were finishing it all off. The restaurant could send our food over for us, and we'd be nice and comfy and cosy, all wrapped up warm and snug in our little Wendy House in the woods."
"Mmmmmmmmm!"
"Mmm hmmm!
"It sounds lovely," Angelica sighed.
"Yeah!"
"We?"
"What?"
"You said we. We could move in. Are you coming, too? I thought it was my Wendy House."
Smegs blushed deeply. "I thought you'd be able to find room for me, too. I could help you do things. Push you around on the Angelic-O-Glyde, stuff like that."
"Hey, why not! We could have some fun out there. Nobody would interrupt us when you were measuring my bust. You'd have to do it every day, of course."
"Of course. Twice a day."
"Three times. Morning, noon and night. And write the numbers down on a blackboard outside so the girls could come by and see how much I'd grown."
"We could have a big electronic scoreboard. Save messing around with chalk..."
"What would it all cost?" Angelica laughed.
"That's not a problem. I could get the money out of old Crabfart. He's not on the Board of Governors, but he used to be a friend of the ex-headmistress. I could get a basic Wendy House out of him for an all-night session. A fully equipped one would cost a whole weekend..."
"Hmmm. That's a shame!"
"What is?"
"It's a pity it's Sunday night. Next weekend might be too late. Let's just say I grow another foot or so tonight, and carry on at that rate for a week. I'd be up to thirteen feet by next weekend, and you still have to order the Wendy House and all the furniture. By the time they'd got it all put together, I'd be stuck in the bathroom and you'd have to blow the walls down with explosives to get me out."
"Why the bathroom?"
"Think about it, Meegs! Anyway, up you get!" Angelica handed Smegs the phone.
"What's this for?"
"Call old Crabfart. Funny name..."
"It's not his real... Call him? What for?"
"You're going to sleep with him tonight. In the morning, you can grab half an hour or so to order the Wendy House, then you can go back to bed with him until you've earned enough to pay for it. Let's see, if it arrives on Tuesday, we can be moved in there by Thursday night. I should only be up to about a ten-foot bust by then. Lots of the girls are that big. I'll be able to manage as long as I plan my movements around the school. What are you waiting for? Call him!"
"Wha...? But it's prosti..."
"Do it, Meegs!"
Smegs did it.
Twenty minutes later, as she drove away down the road to Borcester wearing her most embarrassingly low-necked sweater, she realised that Angelica was behaving more and more like an army General every minute.
"Psst! Vets! Are you asleep?"
"Yes!" Helvetica rolled over and closed her eyes. The sounds of heavy breathing continued from just over her left shoulder. "I've got a headache, Tina."
"That's not what I want. At least, I wouldn't mind, if I felt horny. But I can't feel horny when I'm worrying about Miss Grimbo."
Helvetica rolled on to her back and peered into the darkness. One of Valentina's exaggeratedly swollen moons was silhouetted against the pale glow of the window. "You'd better come in here," she whispered, folding back the corner of her bed covers.
The bed creaked and dipped as Valentina climbed aboard. Their breasts squashed against each other in the musky darkness. "Maybe I do feel a little bit horny, Vets, now I come to think about it."
Helvetica sighed heavily. Now she came to think about it, so did she. Their lips met softly and parted with a little wet sound.
"Ssshhh! You'll wake the whole dorm!"
Valentina giggled and snorted. "They'll get jealous. Come here and have a drinkie-winkie..."
Helvetica thought that sounded like an excellent idea. "Drinkie-winkie," she echoed, fastening her mouth around Valentina's nipple. Loud slurping sounds filled the dorm.
"Oh, for fuck's sake, you two!"
"Knock it off, will ya? How's a girl supposed to sleep round here?"
"We've got classes tomorrow."
"Don't you ever stop, you two?"
"Okay, you're only jealous. You'd all be in bed with each other if you could."
"We are," claimed a dozen voices simultaneously.
"Well, then." Valentina rested her case. "Finish what you're doing and go to sleep."
The grumbling stopped. There were sounds of padding feet as unattached girls made their way across the dorm to other beds. Little grunts of indignation sounded in the darkness as girls tried to climb into already fully occupied beds. At last, relative silence reigned, broken only by sighs and disgracefully wet sounds.
"We've got to cream Miss Grimbo again," Valentina hissed.
"Miss Grimbo again? When?"
"Soon as we can. We've got to make her grow. If she keeps on growing and not getting any bigger, she'll explode or something."
"Explode or something? How can she grow without getting bigger?"
"I don't know, do I? I'm only a Junior single parent. What do I know about that kind of thing? But we've got to cream her. Tomorrow night. With Puff."
"Tomorrow night with Puff? We're going to use Puff on her?"
"Yeah, Puff on her. We know it works. It works best on moons. But if we spread it all over her tits, it ought to work. Let's cream her then see how quick she grows. If she gets bigger by Wednesday, we can do her again. We have to make her as big as we can, to stop her exploding. We don't want her to explode, do we?"
"Do we? No. You've stopped touching me down there in my aching sopping wet pussy."
"Sopping wet pussy? Sorry!" Valentina resumed her ministrations.
"Woo-woo-woo! Ouch! Your ring really hurts!"
"I'm not wearing a ring, kid. That's my bracelet. And you've stopped suckling on my hugely swollen nipples..."
"Your bracelet? Hugely swollen nipples? Sorry!"
"Woo-woo-woo..."
"Woo-woo-woo..."
"Wow!"
"Wow!"
Giggles came from twenty-six other girls in thirteen other beds.
As one voice confidently stated, "this is better than Sex!"
"We can mix another batch of cream the same as last time," Pansy whispered.
Suzanne scratched her furry armpit and sniffed her fingers absently. "We don't want to. It's got to be plain cream. We've got to cream her but we daren't risk making her any bigger. She's nearly as big as Miss Gruntworthy already."
"Yeah, but why don't the others seem to know? She's enormous!"
"I don't know. They know she's growing, but they all say she's staying the same size. How could she do that?"
"It's mass wisteria," said Pansy. "That's why it has to be us that creams her. And why it has to be plain cream. If we let any of the others do it, they'll give her a bust as big as a girl!"
The idea was so patently absurd, they both giggled.
"Sssshhh!"
"When shall we do it?"
"Tomorrow night, after lights out. She won't be going out anywhere on a Monday night."
"There's just one thing, Suze. If we're only going to cream her with plain cream, why are we taking all that risk, creaming her at all?"
"To stop her exploding," Suzanne stated confidently.
"Exploding?"
"That's right. If we Grow her any more, she'll explode. She's only a teacher. They're not designed to be as big as us. It stands to reason."
"It does?"
"Yeah. And if the others cream her, they'll use tons too much. You know what girls are like."
"Yeah!"
"So we'll do her, and we'll show the others some proof that we've been in her room, so they'll believe us."
"I only wish we didn't have to wait until tomorrow."
"Yeah!"
"We don't, do we? Why can't we do it now?"
"Now? We haven't got any cream."
"We have. I've got some in the wardrobe. Half a tub. Come on, shift your fat arse, Suze. Strike while the iron is hot. No time like the present. Faint heart never won fair lady..."
"Oh, shut up." Suzanne struggled out of bed and shrugged into her jeans and sweater.
The quadrangle clock struck midnight, unnecessarily loudly. "Vets!"
"What is it this time?"
Valentina raised herself on one elbow and stared into the face of her girlfriend. "What are we waiting for?"
"What? We've been doing it for two hours!"
"No, not that!" Valentina reached for the roll of industrial paper towel and ripped off about five yards. She crammed it into her crotch, where it immediately turned into a soggy mush. "I mean why are we waiting until tomorrow to cream Miss Grimbo? Let's do it now!"
"Do it now? But we haven't got any Puff?"
"Got any Puff? We have! I've got half a tub in my wardrobe."
"In your wardrobe? I thought you said that was plain cream and you were using it up, spreading it on your boobs."
Valentina blushed in the darkness. "On my boobs. No, that was Puff. But I wasn't using much. Now Sally's not around, I thought I could make myself a bit bigger. Just a little bit. Six inches or so, maybe. Not a lot."
"Not a lot? Six inches?" Helvetica gaped at her friend who had turned on a bedside lamp and was rummaging in the wardrobe. Sundry items came drifting out, accompanied by ripe curses.
"Ah, got it! Hurry up and get dressed." Valentina placed the tub on the table and searched for her sweater.
A whirlwind struck the dormitory as Vanessa stormed in through the door, slamming it back on its hinges so hard that it bounced shut again. She screeched to a halt, panting, in front of the table, wrenched the top off the Puff tub, scooped out a generous handful and plunged it into her heaving bosom. Then she looked over her shoulder, bleated and was off again down the length of the dorm as the door flung itself open once more and Sally came barrelling through, her giant Maglite in one hand. Vanessa found her way out of the fire door. Breathless giggles could be heard as the two of them clattered down the iron steps.
"Ready? Come on, then," said Valentina. She jammed the lid back on the tub and with the tip of her tongue poking out, tiptoed to the door.
I COULDN'T sleep. The unnecessarily loud quadrangle clock had struck midnight some time ago. It must be nearly half past one now.
I got out of bed and stubbed my toe on the bedpost. It was one of those times when you don't know whether to cry or swear. It went crunch. Something was broken down there, but it was no use trying to see. I can't see my feet any more than most of the girls of St Cat's. I mean, many of them stick out a long way further than I do, but the way I look at it, you can either see your feet or you can't.
Right now, I wasn't sure I wanted to see my foot. It was almost certainly gushing blood, with three or four broken toes sticking out at rilly-rilly unattractive angles. I plodded over to the door and opened it a few inches. A gust of cool fresh air came elbowing its way into the bedroom with the dim light from the corridor.
A faint scuffling sound reached me as I slipped out into the corridor and limped toward the toilets. I know, I could have used the one in my room, but I had to walk off the pain of my shattered toes. It was icy cold out here. Was it mice? My hair was standing on end. Well, not literally on end, that would be silly, but my scalp felt tingly. Mice are a busty woman's worst nightmare. I don't know how some of the girls can play with the laboratory mice the way they do: putting them down their cleavage, things like that. It seems to excite some of them!
There was that scuffling noise again. I turned round. Nothing there. Maybe it was one of the school cats, come in out of the cold. I reached the toilets safely and sat down on the almost freezing cold seat. My nipples bumped softly on the tiled floor. Wow, as cold as that!
Valentina stopped suddenly and Helvetica collided with her.
"Wow, Vets! Your nips are enormous!"
"It's c-cold, Tina!"
"They're rilly-rilly sticking into my back. They feel like six-guns!" Valentina groped behind her with a questing hand, encountering a gratifyingly large bra-less moon crowned with a nipple so erect it was almost poking a hole in Helvetica's sweater.
"Ooooh! Tee! Not up here, they'll hear us!"
"Just a quickie, Vets! Come in here, we can hide in case anybody comes along." She dragged Helvetica into a doorway, meeting with little or no resistance. It appeared to be a store room of some sort, full of boxes and cleaning implements. They wriggled their way in and found a secluded corner behind a teetering stack of cardboard cartons. "Mmmm! That's better!" Two tongues duelled briefly and two pairs of nipples became even more ridiculously enlarged.
"Why did we have to do this tonight? We could have stayed in bed. It was rilly-rilly warm in there."
"We can go back to bed as soon as we've creamed Miss Grimbo," Valentina murmured into her girlfriend's mouth. "The bed will still be nice and warm. And wet, too," she added under her breath. "Come on, let's make it quick..."
"Did you have to bring Baby with you?" Suzanne demanded. "What if she cries? She'll wake the whole school."
"She wanted drinkie-winkies. She'll be okay. Liddle woozums, den," Pansy added, presumably addressing Baby. "Ooza lickle baby, den? Yes!"
Suzanne pulled a face. Pansy handed her cousin the bloated infant, then heaved her still-dripping breast back into her colossal ScatBra Junior Miss Nurs-E-Zee Ultra-150+®.
"Come on, then. Gimme her back and I can burp her as we go along." Pansy tossed Baby on to her shoulder and led the way with her lumbering waddle, her breasts brushing the walls on both sides of the corridor. "What's that?" She stopped suddenly and Suzanne splodged against her back as if she was colliding with a pair of airbags.
"Ooof! What have you stopped for?"
"I heard something. There's someone wandering about up here. Quick, hide in this room." Pansy flung open a door. Brooms and cleaning materials cascaded out. Rolls of industrial paper towel, toilet tissues, boxes of panties, cartons of whipped cream. A huge galvanised bucket fell on its side with a resounding clang before rolling around in a circle with Suzanne trying uselessly to catch up with it.
The cousins looked at each other in horror.
"Fuck!" said Pansy. "I'm miles too big to get in there. Let's go!"
Suzanne finally caught up with the revolving bucket. She was about to pick it up when one of her cousin's bouncing udders pitched her forward, out of control.
"Come on," said Pansy. "Never mind the bucket! Bring it with you."
"It's ... I can't ... I've got my tit stuck in it!"
Pansy was already halfway to Miss Grimbo's room. She turned to see Suzanne wrestling with the enormous heavy bucket. Her left breast was firmly wedged inside. As she struggled, trying to jerk herself free, the metal handle swung from side to side with metallic squeaks.
"Come on, Suze!"
"It won't come off!"
"We'll pull it off later. Quick! And stop that stupid squeaking noise."
Sobbing with fright, Suzanne clutched at the bucket handle with one hand, picked up the tub of cream with the other and followed her cousin down the corridor. And into Miss Grimbo's bedroom.
There was that noise again. A crash, and a squeaking noise. It must be mice. Or cats. Rats, even! I retreated back into the toilet and sat down to think. Cornered rats went for your throat. People always tried to tell you that was an old wives' tale: that the rat might seem to be jumping at your throat when really it was trying to escape by leaping over your shoulder. That sort of explanation is all very well. Do the rats know?
It was quieter now. The squeaks had died away and the usual silence settled over the domestic block. It was unnaturally quiet. Anastasia spent most of her nights over at Lord Ted's, now, getting herself comprehensively laid by as many boys as she could fit in to her tight schedule and her not so tight love-tunnel. There were rumours that she was trying to get pregnant so she could qualify for subsidised accommodation. Smegs was out, so there was none of the usual noise of sex coming from her room. Angelica would be sleeping alone tonight.
The thought brought a familiar moistness to my loins. Sheesh, it was trickling down my legs. Pausing only to grab a generous handful of industrial paper towel, I hurried to the door and peered out, looking both ways.
All clear. Let's go!
Angelica's room was on the left, a few yards past the store room. And it was outside the store room that I discovered the reason for the loud crash a while ago. It made me giggle. The whole corridor was a litter of cleaning materials, mops and scrubbing brushes, rolls of industrial paper towel and boxes.
Obviously, the pressure on the door of the overloaded store room had burst the door open, spilling the contents out like Corinne after a night on the beer. I tiptoed past, keen to be on my way back to bed and sweet dreams of Angelica, when an amazing, wonderful thought came to me. It was so amazing and wonderful, I had to lean against the wall to recover. Fortunately, there was a roll of industrial paper towel at hand. And something else. On the side of one of the jumbled boxes, the words "Whipped Cream".
My thighs turned to jelly as I bent squidgily and ripped at the lid of the box with trembling fingers. Within seconds, I had a can of whipped cream in my hand. It felt reassuringly full and heavy when I shook it. Full and heavy. Like Angelica.
I grabbed three more cans and set off. Then I went back for a roll of industrial paper towel. Be prepared, that's my motto.
"Mmmm. Have they all gone?" Valentina slipped her tongue into Helvetica's ear, then nuzzled her cheek.
"Sounds like it. Who was it?"
"Couldn't see. Noisy buggers. They dropped a bucket."
"Cleaners don't come round at this time of night."
"Maybe one of the teachers spilt something...?"
"Or Miss Meadowlark dropped her drink...?"
"Or Miss Gruntworthy came all over the place...?"
The Juniors giggled and hugged each other in the darkness.
"Do we have to go?" Helvetica shuddered and tilted her head back as Valentina's tongue traced the line of a vein in her neck. "Couldn't we stay in here all night?"
"No, we've got to cream Miss Grimbo. We've done the hard part, getting ourselves up here. Let's just give them a little while to get off to sleep. We'll go when the clock strikes one."
"How long will that be?" Helvetica's voice trembled.
"Long enough..."
"I still can't get this bucket off my tit. It's stuck tight. My boob must have got bigger after it got stuck in there."
Pansy inspected her cousin's bosom with interest. "The other one is still the same size as it was. Boobs don't get get bigger just because they're stuck in buckets. If they did, loads of women would be walking round with buckets on their tits."
"It's only girls who have tits as big as buckets, not women. And this is the biggest bucket I ever saw, and it's too small for me."
"You shouldn't have put it in there if it wasn't big enough. It's the sort of stupid thing you're always doing..."
"I didn't put it in here on purpose. You pushed me into it..."
"Shhh-hhh!"
"Don't shush me..."
"There's somebody coming. Quick, find somewhere to hide."
"How can I hide with a bucket on my tit?"
Pansy was already tucking Baby under one arm and squeezing herself into the wardrobe. Go in the kitchen. You can hide under the sink. If anybody looks, pretend to be a mop."
"Oh, har har..."
"Quick! Move! Suze! Don't forget to take the cream!"
Angelica's door was open an inch or so. I pushed at it and stepped into the fragrant darkness. I stood still for a few moments, letting my eyes become accustomed to the gloom. There was a distinct feeling someone was in the room; apart, of course, from myself and Angelica.
She was there, all right, snoring gently and making little dribbling noises. Was she having a dream? Sleeping like a baby. A baby? Was that a baby noise just then? A small wet sound, the sort of thing babies do. Maybe not.
In the faint light, I could see the humped shape of Angelica, sleeping on her back. God, she was huge! The mountains of her breasts seemed to stretch upwards into the clouds. Was there snow on her moons? Carefully, I kneeled down beside the bed, placing my cans of whipped cream in a row on the floor. Angelica loved whipped cream on her tummy. And elsewhere. And this time I had her all to myself!
Jeremy crouched beside the Angelic-O-Glyde, cursing fluently. Those coaxial drive traction motors were a nightmare, Jeremy always said. If he didn't get it fixed, they were going to have to bring the chariot round to the back of the Wendy House, and she would have to get a bunch of the girls to do the job of the oily boys, who had been given the day off.
"How's it coming, Jez?"
"'Kin nightmare, Your Abundance. Whoever designed this thing wants shooting. Look at this screw. How are you supposed to get at it to adjust the phase corrupter alignment?"
"I can't see, my boobs are too big..."
The clock struck one. Even in the store room, it was unnecessarily loud.
"Let's go, Vets. Put your tits away."
"Oooh, must we? Let's just stay in here..."
"Come on!" Valentina giggled and kissed her girlfriend's soft mouth once more. It was tempting to stay here in their warm and by now extremely sexy-smelling cupboard, but there was work to be done.
"Tee, do we really need to cream Miss Grimbo? I mean rilly-rilly cream her?"
"Of course. We have to make her grow."
"I know, but ... it feels funny, somehow. Something doesn't add up. If she's been growing all the time, she ought to be giant by now. But all the girls say she's the same as she's always been. Whenever I try to think about it, my head goes all funny."
"So does mine," Valentina admitted. "We've grown a lot since we started school, but..."
"That's different. We're just girls. Girls are supposed to grow. Teachers don't! Teachers are women."
"You mean she hasn't been growing?"
"Of course she has. She told us. Teachers don't tell lies. That's what girls do."
"I know." Valentina frowned in the darkness. "We know she's growing. Yet she's still as small as she was..."
"Is she, though? You know when she was wearing that horrible sweater?"
"That orange one? It looked horrible."
"Yeah, horrible. But didn't you notice something else about it, besides it being horrible?"
"Horrible? Something else besides? Like it was too small?"
"Yeah, it was horrible, but it was too small. She got it off one of the girls..."
Valentina grinned at the thought of Miss Grimbo tearing the horrible sweater off a girl and forcing herself into it. "One of the girls?"
"Yeah, one of the girls in the Third Form. It was horrible, but that wasn't why she got rid of it. It was too small for her."
"It was horrible but it was too small for her? And it was too small for Miss Grimbo as well? How big was the girl?"
"That's what I mean. She's rilly-rilly big."
"How big? Big as me?"
"Bigger than you."
"Big as you?"
"Bigger than me."
"Big as Sally Chung?"
The door of the store room creaked open a few inches and a long black shape poked itself inside. The bulbous head of the black shape probed left and right, then a beam of light sprang out of it, flickering round the inside of the room. It danced across the walls, the shelves, the boxes, then withdrew. The door closed behind it.
Helvetica considered for a moment. "About Sally's size, yeah. Or bigger."
"So Miss Grimbo must be bigger than Sally. Quite a lot bigger. Wow! You're right, Vets!"
"Yeah, I thought so. It doesn't make it any easier, though, does it? If she really is bigger than we all thought; I mean, rilly-rilly bigger, what will happen if we give her another creaming with Puff?"
"There's only one way to find out."
"You don't mean...?"
"Yeah. 'Fraid so, kid! You'd better put your jeans back on."
She stirred in her sleep as I pulled the covers down over her chest. God, she was even bigger! Surely not? I was quite accustomed to the darkness now. Angelica wasn't wearing a nightie or anything, as far as I could see. As far as I could see meant down to her lower stomach. Not that Angelica has more than one stomach, I mean, she isn't a cow or anything: rather that I could see down as far as the lower part of the one stomach she's got. The bed covers still obscured below that, and I wasn't about to pull them down any further. She might wake up and be mad at me.
Anyway, I had more than enough to occupy my attention. Those breasts! They were vast chocolate mounds, except that there isn't that much chocolate in the world. They must have been two or three times as big as my head. I knew that for a fact because my head was only inches away from her left one. It literally dwarfed my head, yet it didn't seem to flop at all, it just stuck straight up in the air. As firm as a growing girl's. I suppose that was because that's what they were.
Experimentally, I sprayed a little of the whipped cream into the palm of my hand. It tasted nice, but it would taste much nicer in a minute. Fortunately, it wasn't cold. I thought about it for a moment, then squished the handful of cream against the side of that whopping great tit. I missed the moon altogether, surprisingly, as it was one serious moon. It didn't matter, though. As my hand spread the cream thickly over the resilient globe, it felt truly incredible.
"Thank you, Serena. That feels excellent! You may apply some more if you wish. On my moon, this time, please!"
"Certainly, Your Abundance. It isn't too cold, is it?"
"It is just right, Serena. And your hand is so soft."
I could swear she spoke. A voice seemed to tell me my hand was soft. That was because her boob was so firm by comparison. It felt like a pumpkin. A chocolate pumpkin. Quite a lumpy pumpkin, in fact. The top of it, the last few inches, stuck out like a separate breast on top of the mammoth one under my hand. That mighty moon needed some cream. Straight from the can. I had to stand up to do it.
It settled on top like snow on a mountain top, then as the spray continued to hiss, it built up into a great big curly-wurly coil, round and round and round the nipple until the can was empty and nothing but spits and spots came out of the nozzle...
Pansy wondered what that noise was. It had sounded like Baby filling her nappy, but it was coming from outside the wardrobe, in the bedroom. She cracked the wardrobe door open and peeped through the crack. Her eyes widened.
"Wow!" she muttered.
Suzanne stopped struggling to get her swollen breast out of the bucket. A strange sound was coming from the bedroom. On hands and knees, she crawled out from beneath the kitchen sink and crept to the doorway, one nipple and one bucket dragging along the tiles. Her eyes widened.
"Wow!" she muttered.
"Yes, that's good, Jeremy! No wonder Lieutenant Grantchester speaks so highly of you."
"You're even better than she is, Your Abundance! And with breasts the size of yours, you must be the most desirable woman in the whole bed."
"Bed, Jeremy?"
"Did I say bed, Your Abundance? I meant bed, of course..."
"Oh, of course! Put it in me now, please. Put your enormous throbbing thing in my aching love-tunnel!"
"With the greatest of pleasure, Your Abundance. Now if I may stand up and take careful aim, I will try to hit the target. You're not as big as Lieutenant Grantchester, you know..."
"Wow, Jeremy! You're so huge!"
"Ooh, woo-woo-woo!"
"No, Jeremy..."
"Oh, no..."
"Aaaargh!"
"Look what you've done! You useless pile of shit!"
I stared dumbly at the huge dollop of whipped cream on Angelica's tummy. How had that happened? It had all come out in one big swoosh. A whole can-full, wasted, all over her belly.
"Lick it off at once," Angelica commanded imperiously.
"You're awake?"
"Lick it up. Every last drop!"
"I didn't mean to..."
"Just do it, Jeremy!"
"Jeremy?"
"Somebody's in there!" Valentina clutched Helvetica's arm and dragged her back. She had been about to push the door open. "She's got Jeremy in there!"
"Jeremy? With Miss Grimbo? What for? What are they doing?"
Valentina gave her girlfriend an old-fashioned look. "Remind me to tell you about the birds and the bees one day, kid. It's called fucking."
"Fucking? Miss Grimbo? And Mr Jeremy? You mean, they...?"
"Why not? Jeremy does it with anyone. I was thinking of trying him myself one day," Valentina added with endearing modesty.
Helvetica shuddered and put this ghastly concept out of her mind. "What are we going to do? Can we still cream her while she's fuc ... making lo ... doing it?"
"We could try, but it might be hard to get at her tits until he's finished. He's probably on top of her."
"What, sitting on her face?" Helvetica cried indignantly.
Valentina sighed heavily. She would have to give her girlfriend an illustrated lecture on this subject. "It might be better if we didn't charge in there and start creaming her just yet. We'll leave it for a couple of minutes."
"Is that all it takes? I thought it took all night. Hours, anyway."
"No!" Valentina was adamant. "It only takes about five minutes. It's not like when we do it. When I had Arthur, his Daddy only took about two minutes. None of his Daddies did. The longest was five and the quickest didn't even have a chance to put it in me."
"Wow! How many Daddies does Arthur have?"
Valentina counted swiftly on her fingers. "Twenty-nine. No, the subs and the managers and the referee and the two linesmen didn't do it. Just the two teams."
"You've never told me any of this before, Tee! I thought most people only had one Daddy." Helvetica tried to push past Valentina. "Let's go in and watch them. They won't mind, will they?"
"Woah!" Valentina dragged her away. "It might be better to wait. Let's go back in the cupboard and wait in there." She began to fumble with the clasp of Helvetica's jeans.
"No! Tee! I want to watch Miss Grimb..."
A noise in the bedroom startled the girls and they fled. Fortunately, they both fled in the same direction, and clattered their way back into the store cupboard, as the bedroom door opened and...
Pansy gasped as Miss Grimbo sat upright in bed and turned on the lights. The teacher stared with incomprehension at the pile of whipped cream on each of her breasts. More cream had squished out from beneath her massive whoppers as they blooped down on to her tummy. Miss Gruntworthy had disappeared: the door was still open and swinging. Only a litter of empty cream cans and a roll of industrial paper towel marked where the headmistress had so recently been.
Suzanne had a good view from the opposite side. She had seen Miss Gruntworthy flee, and watched in mingled delight and disgust as Miss Grimbo sat up in a shower of whipped cream. A generous glop of it had squirted out from beneath the teacher's breasts and landed on Suzanne's breast bucket. She scooped it up and licked it off her finger. It was still warm.
The two Third Formers hung on with baited breath. Was Miss Grimbo going to get up, or would she go back to sleep? Suzanne would dearly have loved to have another go at her bucket.
Pansy had a more urgent problem. Standing in a wardrobe without moving had brought her to a state of extreme bladder awareness. She calculated that she could last — in the best possible case — a further five minutes. Beyond that, she would piss like a horse and nothing would stand in her way. In fact, thinking about the problem was only making it worse. She farted, and realised that her need to use the staff toilet facilities might be even more than a mere Number One. This was potentially disastrous. And as if all that wasn't enough, Baby seemed to sense her mother's anxiety, and was wriggling in preparation for waking up. And when Baby woke up, nobody within a hundred metres was going to be able to sleep.
Things had not turned out to be such plain sailing as they had imagined. Whose crazy dog-brained idea had it been to cream Miss Grimbo, anyway?"