Total Pain A two-fisted, barefooted waitress gives Joe the beating he deserves Lainie slipped into the backroom of the Olive Garden, pried her shoes off, and let out a relieved sigh. Shoes, she cursed the things totally. Next, she peeled off her nylons and stuffed them into her shoes. Oh, that was amazing! Lainie swore that the only reason God had invented shoes was so that she would appreciate what a gift she had been given with bare feet. She wriggled her toes and savored the freedom. OK, so she was addicted to going barefoot. How is that odd? To Lainie, there was nothing more odd than people who insisted on wearing shoes. Lainie was currently double majoring in theater and history, pulling a 4.0 GPA and being a sister in a sorority. She also loved doing plays, working out, partying responsibly, volunteering for worthy causes, and spending time with friends. Her favorite sports were yoga, swimming, volleyball, and kickboxing. She currently worked as a model and a lifeguard, picking up acting work where she could. What she loved about her jobs, sports, and leisure activities was that most of them were done in bare feet. Just this week, she was helping out a friend by working some shifts at his restaurant. Little did she realize that her feet had not been contained by shoes for this length of time ever in her life! It seemed silly, but the barefoot goddess only wore sandals or flip-flops when her feet had to be contained. There was one other thing that could be done in bare feet, and that was beating the living shit out of bullies, rapists, and other assholes. Lainie was easily one of the most beautiful women you were ever likely to see, and she had an IQ over 140, but it was her fighting skills of which she was most proud. The first week in college, her roommate had shown up with bruises all over her face and crying uncontrollably. Lainie had recognized these signs instantly from some of her volunteer work at rape clinics. When her roommate told her who did this to her, Lainie promptly went out and turned the 6'2" football player in to a crying, bloody pulp. Lainie still smiled with the memory of that, and she kept a Polaroid of that beaten asshole in her prized picture album. Little did she know that in a few minutes, her fighting skills would be summoned again. Little did her impending attacker know that he was about to receive two black eyes, a broken nose, and the all-around worst beating of his life! Joe Raymond opened the door to the back room. At 6'5", Joe was the biggest, baddest guy around, and was basically used to getting his way. Women threw themselves at him (usually not very bright women). He loved using his size and fists to get his way, and made it a point to get in fights with clearly inferior fighters (usually who were innocent) in order to strut his stuff. He also had a habit of using his size to get what he wanted with women. LAinie, for example, drove him crazy. Gorgeous, wealthy, educated, and totally untouchable. Not only did she not show any interest in him, but she actually seemed repulsed by him, though she was too polite to show this gratuitously. As Joe came into the back room, Lainie inwardly seethed. It was true, she hated this macho egomaniac who wouldn't take "no" for an answer. She had asked her friend to help her out. "You had the boss man talk to me, Lainie," Joe grumbled. "I don't like little girls getting me in trouble." And he sat down right next to her. Lainie was 5'2" and less than half his weight. Joe intended to teach her a lesson right here and now. Little did he know that he was about five minutes from being reduced to a crying, blubbering baby begging for mercy. Lainie wanted to move, but she had long ago learned that any sign of weakness in front of guys like this was a mistake. Not that there was any right way to deal with them. Lainie had basically learned that guys like this would keep pushing the boundaries of proper behavior until they gratuitously crossed the line. When that happened, Lainie got to exercise those sexy calloused foot-soles by kicking ass! "You've been hitting on me all week, and I've repeatedly told you "no". I've told Jerry about it, and he says that he's been just looking for an excuse to fire you." Joe laughed. "That little pussy is too scared of me to fire me." Lainie bristled. Joe had been a friend of hers for over a year now. "Joe is easily the smartest and most hard-working person I know, and you're just lucky that he is such a by-the-book junkie, or your sorry butt would already be history. Now, I've finished my sidework, so I'm just waiting back here until he lets us all go for the night. I look forward to not having to see you again after tonight." Joe was so red he couldn't speak. Girls never spoke this way to him! He would just have to teach this bitch respect. "It's so obvious you've never had a man teach you how to behave. Bitches belong in the kitchen or flat on their backs!" OK, Lainie inwardly smiled grimly. There was the line, he just crossed it. Now her 5'2" barefooting self would have to give this creep what he had coming. "You're about to have a woman teach you how to behave. And you'll be lying flat on your back for a long time ... in a hospital! If you don't apologize in ten seconds, I'll beat you up so badly, you'll wish you'd never even laid eyes on me." Joe burst out laughing. Did this bitch really think she could talk to him like that? "No, here's what's gonna happen. First, I'm gonna beat you to a pulp until you beg me to fuck you. Then, I'll come back to your little sorority house and you'll let me fuck whichever ones of them I want. How does that sound, ... cunt?" Joe smiled and laughed evilly. This little girl was gonna learn manners one way or another. "That does it!" Lainie cried. That was the last moment in Joe's life when he felt superior to women. His deluded self-love was cut off by CRACK!!! One of the sexiest bare feet ever made by God had just flown up and buried its heel in his mouth. Teeth flew, and his mouth became a fountain of blood. The pain and surprise together meant that Joe didn't realize what was happening until he was lying on the ground. And most humiliating of all, he was crying! Lainie looked down at him smugly. Her face showed a combination of amusement at his weakness and pride in her perfect kick. For a 5'2" girl to kick a guy over 6 ft. right in the mouth was pretty nice. "so here's how it goes, loser. For the next ten minutes, I am going to beat you up so badly, you'll wish you'd never been born. I expect you to beg for mercy properly, and then I'm still going to keep beating the crap out of you. Once your eyes are swollen shut, your nose is broken, you have puked, pissed, and shat yourself, your cock is swollen from repetitive kicking, your limbs have been twisted too far out of joint for them to be used, and every inch of your body is swollen, then I will put your unconscious body in a trash bag and dump it in the dumpster. Tomorrow you will wake up in the city trash bin." It was too much for Joe to take. He yelled at the top of his lungs and charged. Lainie smiled. This was just laughably easy. Her hands flurried too fast to see, and suddenly Joe was flying through the air. PLOP!!! Lainie burst out laughing as Joe landed head-first in a storage drum of cold spaghetti sauce. Joe pulled himself out of the spaghetti and looked in horror and this pint-sized barefooting fine-ass who was laughing hysterically at him. Not only was she a girl who actively did not want to have sex with him, but she was beating him up with phenomenal ease and having the time of her life doing it. All his life, Joe had been the physically superior one who beat up people on whims and thoroughly humiliated them while doing it. He'd make scrawny dorks eat dirt or jerk off or something. And he loved beating up women until they'd do exactly what he said. That was the way it was supposed to be. How could this be happening! "I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled in absolute fury. He grabbed a butcher knife and swung it right at Lainie. She deftly avoided his blade and twisted his right arm into a pretzel with one bare foot pushing his elbow joint the wrong way ... not enough to break, but almost. Joe screamed in pain. "Well, Joe," Lainie grinned, "it looks like you're having probably the worst night of your life. And I'd like you to know that I'll keep an eye on you. If you harass another girl or beat up another innocent person, then tonight will be child's play compared to what I'll do." In a blink of an eye, she dropped his right arm and twisted his left into the same position, again pressing her sexy toes against his elbow joint. He screamed again. Then she let go. It was a surreal sight. Here was one of the biggest baddest dudes you'd ever seen with no use of his arms, covered in spaghetti sauce, mouth and teeth busted nasty, and he was looking in absolute terror at a petite, gorgeous babe who obviously just laughing at him. Then Joe did the only thing he had left to do: he screamed like a baby, pulled open the door, and ran. The finishing workers laughed as this idiot ran through the restaurant. They cheered as his barefooted tormentor padded calmly after him. Jerry smiled. He had been thinking about firing Joe, but then had gotten the wonderful idea of sticking him in a restaurant with the two- fisted, female empowered Lainie. He'd been looking forward to Joe's ass- kicking all week. Outside, Joe stumbled and fell. He looked up to see HER, staring down at him, punching her fist into her hand. "Time to finish your medicine, loser. The whole staff is watching. And everyone of them is cheering to see you go down." Joe's bawling was uncontrollable. He groveled on his knees at Lainie's sexy feet. "Please! You've beaten me up, I'm totally humiliated ... please just let me lie here and bleed!" Lainie shook her head. "That's not the way it works, Joe. I use my skills to dispense justice, and I've been hearing all week about how you treat other people. Carrie even told me that you've scared off two girls who worked here by date raping them. "I'll do anything," Joe begged, "just leave me alooooone!!!!" Lainie nodded. "OK. Just stand up." Joe stood, hoping and praying that this was the end of it. Then he noticed that super-satisfied smirk on Lainie's face. And behind him was the open door of the trash dumpster. And then ... "HIIIIIIIII-YAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Lainie flew into the air and shot all her power into a kick that hit Joe right in the chest. He flew through the air, into the dumpster, and crashed down on a bunch of stuff. As he looked up groggily, he saw Lainie leaning in through the dumpster door. "And stay down!" she said. Then Joe saw one final fist coming to meet him. CRACK!!!! Joe had a nice long snooze. The whole crew of the Olive Garden cheered. Jerry smiled. He'd have to have Lainie back if he ever again got word of a date rapist on his staff.