story is a sequel to Yule
Spirit and the Blue Elves and to Another
Those stories, in turn, were suggested by a cartoon in my
collection A Christmas
done for a Christmas in the last century. A sidelight on the Blue Elves
appeared in Yule
Eve at Morganna's. Part 1. Once again, my thanks to my friend
David for suggestions incorporated, herein.
graphic violence, nudity, rape and other non-consensual,
sexual scenes, and
low, smutty, sophomoric, attempts at humor. It is intended for, and
only be read, by mature adults, over the age of twenty-one
The Blue Elves Save
(email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org)
Although it was not yet noon of
the short December day, the
small, blue clad female had filled her basket, nearly as
large as she was, with wartberries. It was an amazing feat,
Elves are not noted for being particularly
industrious, and Pickelina had eaten nearly as
many berries as she put in the
wartberry bushes were half buried in snow, and already picked
nearly clean by buzzards, the only other species sharing
the Blue Elf fondness for the foul tasting fruit.
It was rare to see
Pickelina unaccompanied by her sister,
Prunella. But when Pickelina woke the other elf before dawn,
"Geez Picks! Give it a rest!
It's Christmas Eve! We
been out berryin'
every day fer two months! We got every cupboard and closet crammed
with wartberries, and the cellar's full o'barrels o'wartberry
juice! Lemme sleep!"
Prunella was certainly fond of
the berries, but not to the passionate
extent of her sister. Prunella turned her face to the wall, and tried
to go back to sleep.
"Hummph! Lazy slut!" Pickelina
sniffed, and slammed the door, loudly,
on the way out.
"Bitch!" Prunella muttered, and
pillow over her head.
Satisfied that she had stripped
the last bush bare, Pickelina was about
to turn around, and head home. Just then, she saw a short, rotund
all in fur trimmed, red garments,
sitting on a stump, and smoking a stubby old pipe.
"Hey, Santa, how's tricks?" The
irrepressible elf chirped, merrily.
Santa patted his
wallet. Though he had a sneaking
fondness for Pickelina and Prunella, in spite their deservedly evil
canny old gentleman was always careful of his valuables when the
sisters were about.
"Oh hello Pickelina, or is it
Prunella? Always hard to tell you two
apart! Eyesight tain't what it was! Comes of getting so old I guess!"
"Nah! Ya was right! It's me,
Pickelina, the GOOD LOOKING
one! Geez, Santa, ya look kinda' glum,
t'day! How come yer
out here in the woods smokin'? And I ain't seen you with
that old pipe in years! Usually you got them good cigars from Cuba! No
cigar t'day?" Pickelina was never shy about poking her nose in other
"Hummph!" The usually jolly old
gentleman snorted. "Don't remind me,
Pickalina! We've got a guest at the pole! UNINVITED, I might add! One
superheroines! In fact, the Queen Bee of all do-gooder superheroines!
Lady Supreme! The number one, pesky, buttinsky, do-gooder of all time!
I'm against people
doing good, mind you! Not likely, in MY
position! But she's one of those
people that thinks the
Golden Rule sez 'do unto others what YOU
think is good for them,
whether THEY want you to, or not'!"
"What's she doin' at the Pole
anyway?" The inquisitive elf asked, leaning
against her basket, and popping a wartberry into her mouth. She
silently offered Santa one, but he shook his head.
Pickelina! Well, she says it's her duty, as a
superheroine, to find Mrs. Clause, and
Yule Spirit, and Ivy the
Christmas Angel, for me!
Now, naturally, I'd be delighted to have m'wife, Holly, back! Nothing
happier! Course, I got to admit, the Pole has been mighty
Holly, and the other two ladies disappeared! Peaceful, at least, until
dratted, pesky Lady Supreme moved in!"
Pickelina popped another berry
in her mouth, "Yeah, so what's her
"According t'her, 'She
just LOVES Christmas so much,
that she OWES
it to me, to help me out in my sorrow! She sez she'd
been a superheroine, at all, if it wasn't for me! Yep, she owes it ALL
to me, her
a superheroine! I swan! Seems back when she was seven years old, I
brought her some confounded kind of
superheroine costume for Christmas, and that's what inspired her to
become a real
superheroine! Funny thing is, I checked the records, and she was
supposed to get a cowgirl outfit that year! Dang it! You make one
little slip up,
and it comes back to haunt you years later!"
Pickelina nodded her head
sympathetically. "So ya' don't want'a smoke at
because ya don't wanna upset her?"
"Well I might be willing to
upset her a little, mind you, but
the keys to my cigar humidor and my liquor cabinet, and put them
away, where I can't get at them, least-ways, I can't, if I want to be a
it! Drat it! It isn't right when
man can't smoke a good cigar in his own house, once in a while! She sez
she's doing it for my own good! Lucky I had this old
pipe, and some tobacco out in the stables! Course, I'd never smoke it
anywhere near the stables, mind you! I figured I better
here in the woods, though, so Ms. Do-Gooder don't get her
on this, too!"
"Where's she now!"
"Far as I know, she's back at my house looking for my collection of
magazines and videos! She sez it ain't right for Santa to read trash
that corrupts and weakens young minds! Can you imagine that?
Telling Santa Clause, he's corrupting young minds? Course it's fine for
around in that skimpy little costume, that don't hardly cover her
bare essentials! She could pose for pictures for one them magazines,
herself, in that
getup! She sez it's part of the Superheroine Code to dress that way!
Superheroine Code, my foot! If you ask me, she just wants to show off
her as... her assets!"
Pickelina shook her head in
commiseration. "How's she figure she's gonna
find Mrs. C. and
them other two?"
"Well she informed me, that
would be no problem, because she's not only
World's Mightiest Woman, but she's an expert criminologist, to boot!
certainly not a shy, shrinking violet, that girl! I'll give her that!
She's sworn an
oath, on her 'Superheroine's Honor' not only to have the
them back at the Pole for a Joyous Holiday reunion on Christmas Day,
but also to see that the criminals who perpetuated the outrage are
As Santa imparted the last bit of information, he glanced sharply
beneath his bushy eyebrows to see Pickelina's reaction.
"Punish the perps too,
huh?" The blue clad elf whistled innocently, and examined her
"On top of that, my lead
reindeer, Vixen is pregnant!"
"Pregnant, huh? Geez, I didn't
even no she was engaged!"
Pickelina!" Santa fumed. "I don't know how it happened? I always
apart this time of year! A few weeks ago, I found one of my fences
I figure a strange reindeer got into the paddock!"
Once again, Pickelina whistled
innocently, while examining her wartberries.
recalled, a few weeks back, she forgot to latch the stable, and
Jingle Bell, the elves' flying reindeer, got loose. He was back
next morning, looking exhausted, but there was a very satisfied,
"Hmm" Pickelina remembered.
"Old Jangle got hisself some
I bet! He always had a thing
for that Vixen bimbo!"
"Of course, that know-it-all,
Lady Supreme, had to put her two cents worth
in, even though nobody asked her! Told me it was my own fault, for
not having my reindeer neutered!
t'me, sez she, if SHE rescues a stray animal, SHE always sees that it's
neutered, before SHE sends it to a shelter! Informed me: 'It's the only
humane thing to do!' The idea, telling Santa Clause what's 'humane' and
"Well, that got my dander up,
kind of lit into her! 'Tain't
natural,' sez I, 'and I'm NOT gonna
do it! Now, you put that in your pipe and smoke it, Missy!' Well
went off in huff, and I didn't see her for a while, and that was fine
me! But she was back next morning, bright an' chipper as ever, with
new, hare brained suggestion!"
"Well, the upshot of it is!
Vixen can't fly tonight, Christmas Eve! The sled'll be short
hoofed, with only seven reindeer! I don't think they can do it!
The sled gets heavier every year! Vixen's the only one of them with any
sense of direction, too! She can find her way just about anywhere in
"Old Jangle's pretty good at
finding his way places too!" Pickelina
"If that wasn't all bad enough,
the electronic games production
all balled up again! I think sometimes,
elves just aren't cut out to make these newfangled electronic gadgets,
but that's all kids want
these days! And Marcie the Green Elf, she's my Production Chief, she's
China over some botch-up with our suppliers, there! She's
the one person could maybe sort it out!"
"To tell you the truth,
Pickelina, I've decided to pack it up, and retire to Florida!
a little something socked away, and who needs all these problems, at my
Even the cynical, Blue Elf was
shocked at the thought of Christmas without Santa Claus.
"Geez Santa! That'd be awful!
"Yep! Just have to get along
without me! Let someone else do it! Hah! Let Lady Supreme do it!"
Santa had finished his pipe.
"Well, I suppose I better get back home and see what mischief, that
is up to, now! Thanks for listening to my troubles, anyway,
"Sure! No problem,
Santa!" Pickelina grabbed her basket, and started to go, but
turned back. "Geez Santa! Hope things work out fer ya! Be a shame not
t'have no more
Christmas!" She said as she waved goodbye.
A short time later, an excited
Pickelina burst into the hut she shared
with her sister. "Hey Prunny you aint gonna believe all the news I
Pickelina rattled on
excitedly for some time...
Prunella considered the matter
gravely. "Yeah, yer right, could be
bad! Shit, that Lady Supreme's a REAL
superheroine! Not like Yulie, what never
did much more 'en bother elves and bully schoolyard bullies! That
Supreme Bimbo's used t'dealin with real hard cases! Terrorists and
armed killers, like that! It could be bad,
she gets onta us! Ya suppose she knows who snatched them three
"I dunno, but we ougtha' come
up with some ideers, case she shows
"Yeah!" Prunella scratched her
head, deep in thought.
"Well, in this here comic book,
said that Lady Supreme's only weakness is
got it writ down somewhere!" Prunella rummaged through the chaotic
disorder on the old table the elves used
as a desk.
"Oh yeah! Here it is...it's the Elixir of Fragaria Verruca!"
"Geez Pruny, how's a
gonna know what a superheroine's weakness
is? Get real!"
"Ya didn't believe me when I
toldja, ya could catch a' angel by snatchin
her halo neither, didja Smarty? Look at it realistic like, who's gonna
know better about superheroines than some dude what writes about 'em
Pickelina wasn't equipped
to refute this gem of elf logic, and it was
true Prunella had been right about the angel.
"Well even if this here comic
book is right, where we gonna get any
"I dunno!" Prunella answered,
sitting down at the PC.
"Whatcha doin' now?" Pickelina
"Lookin the stuff up in
Wikipedia, whatya think?" Prunella was busy at
the keyboard a
few minutes, while Pickelina hovered at her side.
"You ain't gonna believe this
ya know what it is?"
"If I did, would I be standin'
here, waitin' fer you to tell me,
"Okay, I'll tell ya then, since
ya asked so nice!" Prunella snapped,
equally sarcastically "This here (Prunella glanced at her note)
Fragaria Verruca is, ya ain't gonna believe this, is, TA DA, wartberry
Pickelina shook her head in
disbelief. "Wartberry Juice? Geez ain't
nobody likes wartberry juice better'n me, Pruny, but wartberry
juice? Aww well, what's the odds of this bimbo, Lady Supreme
us, way out here in the woods, anyways?"
For once, Lady Supreme's
celebrated skills as a criminologist were not
equal to a challenge. Temporarily baffled by Santa's even more
celebrated skill at
concealing presents, put to a more personal use, this Christmas, she
morning but found nothing. She glanced at the
grandfather's clock in the corner.
Dear! Look at the time!
Well I'll have to look for that
smut collection some other
A moment later, the intrepid superheroine was out the
nearest window, and headed
at lightening speed toward the Canadian Border, and the northernmost
Mountie Post, the Law
Enforcement Agency nearest the Pole.
An hour later, flying back
across the boarder, Lady Supreme headed
toward Pickelina and
Prunella's hut, according to directions furnished by Sergeant
"Sergeant Preston said that if
those crimes occurred in his jurisdiction, and he was
investigating the case, the top of his list of usual suspects to round
up, would be two Blue Elves, known only as Pickelina and Prunella, no
known surnames! If he
ever catches them on his
side of the border, he's got a batch of warrants for them!"
Lady Supreme looked
the wanted poster the Mountie furnished her with. "Gosh it seems
incredible that two insignificant, little creatures like these, though,
any special powers, could have overcome a mighty Superheroine, like
Spirit, not to mind Ivy, who's a real heavenly angel! And Holly
was darn near a
superheroine herself, and could handle just about anything! Well, I
have to check it out; it's the only lead I have!"
Lady Supreme landed in the
elves front yard, and spotted the reindeer
nodding lazily by the stable. With her super keen, heroine's
she observed the small brand on his rump, in the shape of a sprig of
"Why that must be Jingle Bell,
Yule Spirit's faithful mount! You can
bet, I'll see that he's restored to his beloved Mistress, before I'm
done! This proves those little devils must
know a good deal about those disappearances! Sergeant Preston was
Now if the truth were known,
Jingle Bell was never all that
devoted to his 'beloved' Mistress, Yule Spirit, whom he regarded as a
self-righteous, boring twit. Despite a good deal of
silent, of course, he had adjusted comfortably to life
with Pickelina and
Prunella, and their slipshod, harum-scarum lifestyle. He had even acquired a most
unreindeerlike taste for their wartberry
wine, which added considerably to the brightness of the red nose,
his Cousin Rudolph.
Jingle Bell was less than enthused, when Lady Supreme
assured him that she would see him reunited with her sister
Spirit. Fortunately, reading reindeer minds was one of the few skills,
the incredibly talented superheroine lacked.
Incensed by her discovery of
the contraband reindeer, Lady Supreme
strode to the elfin hut, banged open the front door, and marched
Jingle Bell ambled over to the
hut, and looked in the window. (Hah! This
should be good!)
The astonished Prunella
snapped. "Hey Bimbo! What dya think yer doin',
bargin' in here like that? Ain'tcha got no manners? People can have bad
accidents happen to 'em, doin' things like that, if ya get my
Pickelina who was in the
kitchen squeezing wartberries to make wine, came out to see what the
racket was about
Pickelina ran back to the
kitchen. "Well I sure hope, fer HER sake, Prunny, an' her comic book,
about wartberry juice! Geez I hate t'waste a whole
bucket a'wartberry juice, but this is an
The desperate elf grabbed the newly squeezed bucket of juice, rushed
back, and without hesitation flung the contents at Lady Supreme's
drenching the superheroine with the foul smelling liquid.
It turned out, much to
Pickelina's surprise, that
Prunella's reliance on information
from her favorite
periodical was justified. Lady Supreme shuddered and stiffened in
shock. Her huge, buoyant bosom heaved tremulously, and her beautiful
contorted in pain. At the first shock, she dropped Prunella who landed
nimbly on elfin feet, ready for battle.
Stricken by the effects of the
deadly Elixir of
Fragaria Verruca, Lady Supreme proved an
easy mark for Prunella's vengeful attack.
Supreme had laid hands on Prunella! Elfin esteem had been trifled with!
on settling this affair of honor,
this foe was no gentle angel
violence, like the unfortunate Ivy.
attacking the 'World's Mightiest Woman', a crimefighter of
international renown! Pickelina decided that, under the
Any damage not done by
the vile wartberry juice, was swiftly
completed by the vicious, skillfully coordinated, elfin attack.
stood aside to let her aggrieved sister have the satisfaction of
While her sister held the
groggy superheroine, forcefully, pinned to the
floor, Prunella who had an artful facility for denuding female
captives, tore Lady Supreme's abbreviated costume from her voluptuously
curvaceous body. Lady Supreme shrieked in righteous, but impotent,
As Prunella whipped off Lady
Supreme's abbreviated bustier, a ring of
keys clattered on
"Hah! Bet these are Santa's
said, putting them in Prunella's hat, for safekeeping.
Prunella did not yet consider
her elfin honor satisfied. Moreover,
despite her near helplessness, Lady Supreme was still uttering fierce
threats and insults, perhaps unwisely in view of her
a stout bough of redoubtable scotch pine, and hauled the enfeebled,
disoriented, superheroine across her lap.
It took a moment for Lady
Supreme to fully appreciate the gravity of
and to grasp the vengeful elf's intent. Certainly, it was
position in which any superheroine normally finds
"Dear Heaven! Does this
little strumpet think she's going to
spank me! NO!
She wouldn't dare! I'm Lady Supreme!"
In fact, the audacious Blue Elf
did intend it, and would dare it!
Lady Supreme, struggled mightily, but the evil wartberry juice had done
its work all too well. She found herself powerless to escape from the
tiny elf's lap.
Naturally, no superheroine,
particularly the very quintessential acme
Lady Supreme, feared the trifling discomfort of a childish
spanking! However, for a Superheroine to be put into such an
undignified, mortifying position was intolerable! This outrage
repute of all
superheroines, everywhere, and YES,
diminished the bright, shining
very Institution of Superheroinedom, itself! Lady Supreme roared
The first blow fell! Lady
Supreme discovered to her astonished dismay,
that a scotch pine bough, wielded by a vindictive Blue
Elf, was considerably more distressing, than anticipated, even for a
Prunella went at her task, with
all the enthusiasm that an
aggrieved Blue Elf can muster! The unexpectedly frightful pain
scorching her shapely bottom, temporarily put
all indignant concern for the prestige of Superheroinedom, from Lady
Though it would be an inconceivable shock to her legion of admirers,
that exemplar of feminine courage and audacity was soon wailing with
earsplitting intensity, in a MOST unsuperheroinelike manner!
The elves, otherwise occupied,
did not notice a red nose, (No redder, now, than the unfortunate Lady
Supreme's delectable nether cheeks.) pressed
against the pane, or a furry face at the window, laughing in uproarious
The Superheroine Code
is clear; a wise
superheroine knows when discretion is the better part of
valor, and that it oft best serves Justice to ask for quarter, WITH
dignity of course, while planning for just retribution on some future,
propitious day. The bountifully curvaceous
crime-fighter's adherence to
the Code, by asking for quarter, was only proper!
AND YET, an uncharitable observer, seeing
those seemingly heartfelt
tears flowing copiously down our heroine's beautiful face, seeing the
heaving of her splendidly rounded, most generously endowed
bosom, hearing those loud, snuffling, brokenhearted sobs, enough to
soften the heart of Torquemada, if not a Blue Elf;
MIGHT conclude that the world renowned Lady Supreme
was cravenly begging a tiny elf for
mercy, with no thought of the Code, at all!
season of forgiveness, let us charitably assume that Lady Supreme
honorably adhering to the Superheroine Code, while acknowledging, that
in her terrible distress,
request was a trifle
lacking in the
When Prunella released the
sobbing, chastened superheroine from her
firm grip, Lady Supreme slid off the elf's lap onto her knees,
and snuffling in sorrowful
misery, gingerly massaged her very ample, though marvelously
constructed, behind, a
very sore, smarting, blazing red, behind.
Prunella laughed nastily as
Supreme valiantly tried to control her sobs.
awful, and that despicable creature made me cry and beg like a little
girl, and now the vile witch is laughing at me! Oh! It's so
humiliating! Oh Dear,
when is my poor heiny going to stop hurting!"
Still snuffling in misery, Lady
remembered she was a
fearless superheroine, of huge, imposing
physique, impossible to
intimidate, and tried to look on the bright
side. Of course, optimism IS the basic watchword of the Superheroine
Code! Keep Smiling! Tomorrow's another day! Upward and onward!
Never say die! Victory is around the corner! Crime doesn't pay! Justice
OUT! Right will prevail!
"Well bad as things are, at
shamefully ravished and
molested, the way I was when those awful terrorists captured me, two
years ago! Oh, I still can't believe those fiends dared violate a
virtue that disgusting way! Not that they
didn't pay dearly for their dastardly actions when I got free! Just
THESE two little weasels are going to pay! OH, just wait 'til I get my
strength back; I'll RIP their evil, little, elf hearts out!"
Thinking the worst of her
ordeal over, Lady Supreme's mind was, as was
proper, reverting to the subject of just retribution. Had Lady Supreme
to an anthropological journal, she might
have been more knowledgeable about the forceful, sapphic proclivities
female Blue Elves, and less complacent about the threat to her
chaste, superheroinely virtue.
The elves soon augmented Lady
Supreme's store of anthropological
"Let's string her up,
while we have some fun!"
"Chains can not long bind
a superheroine!" Lady Supreme snapped
indignantly, but a shadow in her big, blue, tear-stained eyes, and a
tremor in her melodious voice, betrayed
"Maybe chains can't,
Babe, but I
bet ropes made of wartberry vines can!"
Pickelina snickered, as the voluptuous captive strained uselessly
against her restraints.
Once Lady Supreme was secured
by wartberry vine ropes, the elves wasted
no time indulging their simple, elfin pleasures.
Perhaps persuaded as much by
Prunella's skilled, blue, elfin tongue, as
by Pickelina's reminder of the aphrodisial power of scotch pine, Lady
Supreme rediscovered the truth of the old, but most unsuperheroine
adage, 'if you can't avoid it, relax and enjoy it'. Indeed, she
not only stoically endured, but, apparently, actively participated in the
perverse elfin rites.
Though the lascivious elves
changed places several times, even the
charms of a most voluptuous, wartberry flavored superheroine pall,
leaving the elves with a disposal problem.
"What are we gonna do with 'er
now? We can't keep 'er! Shit! That big cow'd eat us out a house 'n
home, in no time!" Pickelina observed, eying
huge-bodied, obviously extremely well-fed, superheroine, snuffling in
misery in her bondage.
Prunella scratched her head.
"Geez I don't know! He's whatcha' call a
theme collector! Only int'rested in ones what got sump'n t'do with
This one ain't got nuthin'
specially chrismassy 'bout her! And you know what things was like,
last time we was there!"
"Oh yeah!" Snickered,
"Well, don't hurt t'give him a
Prunella came back from the
phone shaking her head. "Nah! He ain't
interested! Says he's got his hands full with them three, he's
"Shit! No wonder at his age,
the old letch! I was wond'rin' tho', how
about Morganna? Ya
"Geez, she's got a stable full,
awready! Ahh, I'll give 'er a call! Never
This time Prunella came back
with a bright, elfin smile.
"Shit! She seems eager t'get
'er! Didn't even hardly bargain none!
Ain't like Morg! Must be the holiday season!"
"She gonna pay us in
"Nah, a certified check! That's
better! Morganna's a friend an' all, but
she IS a witch, an' witch's gold's got a way a turnin' inta sump'n else
'fore ya get it home!"
"Morg did say she's read 'bout
that elixir stuff, in one o'her books o'sorcery, an'
works better, if ya give it t'em internally, get 'em t'drink it, like!
Takes away their powers for
a few months, that way! She wants us to pour a shot a wartberry juice
gullet before we deliver her, an' throw in a jug o' the
"No problem!" Pickelina
"Okay, that's done! Let's get
ready t'go!" Prunella said, when they
finished administering the vile liquid. "I'll get ol' what'isface
out, and put the wartberry jug
the sled! You bring the bimbo!"
Pickelina stowed Lady Supreme,
to her artistic satisfaction, while
Prunella hitched an unenthusiastic reindeer to the new sled, recently
from a dealer's poorly guarded, back lot.
In her distress, Lady Supreme
forgot her dignity as a superheroine, as to cry out fearfully for
rescue. Unfortunately, there was no one within earshot, interested in
The trip by
was completed in little more than the
blink of an eye. At Morganna's Clinic,
the elves parked the sled by the stable, where the family kept their
pet donkey, Eeyore. The
donkey's head poked out the window, enjoying
the winter sun.
humble burro the social equal of
a flying reindeer.
Eeyore returned the nod coolly,
unimpressed by the social pretensions of the airborne. He
chewing his oats,
impassively ignoring, not only the reindeer, but also the large,
woman, naked but for high, white boots, who was cleaning his stall on
hands and knees, while sobbing uncontrollably, in seemingly inconsolable
Overwhelmed by the terrible
misfortunes that had befallen her, a dazed Lady
Supreme stumbled along between the two
elves to the front door, docilely letting them push and shove her, as
though they owned her.
The threesome was met at the
Clinic's front door
by Leticia Luthor, Morganna's sister.
"Oh come in Prunella and
Pickelina!" Leticia said with a smile, looking
directly between them, because she was never sure which elf was which.
here quick! Morg's on the phone, but I'll tell her, you're here!"
A minute later, Leticia
"She'll be right with you, soon as she
get's off the phone! You'll have to forgive us, if things are
a little hectic here today! Of course we're right in the middle of
for Yule Fest tomorrow, and we've just had some wonderful news!"
Governor announced this morning, that he's appointing Geraldine
Phillips Esq. to a seat on the State's Highest Court! Of course, Gerri
Morganna's partner, Shyster Dame! She's a wonderful lawyer! When that
bitch, Supermom, had me arrested! Shysty got me right out of jail,
got the charges dismissed! In fact, she preferred counter charges
Supermom herself, and got a public apology from the Mayor, for locking
JUDGE Shysty fer us! "
The captive Lady Supreme raised
her head, and gasped at the shocking
news. NO, it couldn't
be true! That dastardly
villainess, Shyster Dame, sit on the Bench of Judgment?
What sort of hideous mockery of Justice was that?
"Oh, then that
Justice Lady, snuffled and carried on all day, because its the same
seat she had, before Shysty had her declared mentally incompetent!
She was REALLY getting on my nerves! Finally, I sent her out to the
clean Eeyore's stall; let her bray at the donkey! Hah, hah!"
Lady Supreme blinked in
disbelief. Justice Lady vanished years ago,
the same time as Silver Valkyrie. Was it possible this woman somehow
kept a renowned SUPERHEROINE imprisoned in this sinister place?
NO! It must be some macabre joke!
Leticia was interrupted by
blood curdling screams from the alcove
adjoining the sitting room.
"Oh NO! Not again!" Leticia
over to the door in disgust and looked in.
"Those darn kids of mine put
that damn angel on the Yule Tree, again!
I told that stupid bimbo not to let them catch her, this year! Well,
just stay there, until I get some one to take her down!"
The naturally inquisitive elves
pushed into the other room to see the
for themselves, dragging Lady Supreme with them. After all, Morganna
hadn't paid them yet.
Lady Supreme blinked her teary
in horrified disbelief. The
terrible confirmation of the growing fear she dreaded facing.
"OH MY GOD! It's Power Angel
someone's actually IMPALED her, and ON a
Tree, too! OH, how horrible! It's barbaric! B-but she's been missing
years! H-has she been kept HERE, an abused captive, all that time!
B-but how? Sh-she's a
SUPERHEROINE like...like I AM?" Lady Supreme gulped, fearfully.
Leticia bawled out at the top
of her lungs. "Wendy, Billy! GET DOWN
"Yeah Mom! Be down in a
Billy called. "Just messin' around
room! Wendy ran over t'Golgatha's house! Said she'd be back in
"Billy, have you got those two
Supermom and Super Lass, up there? You know, I told you, I've got
for them to do!"
"Yeah, so do I," Billy
"but I'll see they get right on it, soon as
Wendy gets back!"
Supermom, and her youthful
Super Lass? Were they imprisoned in this
horrible place, too? Lady Supreme would have been even more appalled,
see what Billy called 'messin' around.
"Well, when your sister gets
make sure the two of you get this
angel off this Yule Tree! How many times have I got to tell you two;
Yule Trees DON'T have angels!"
"Yeah, yeah, Mom! Don't have a
cow! We was just having a little joke!"
Leticia shut the door to the
other room, partially muffling the
"Oh I'm sorry for the racket,
know how kids are this time of year!
Would you ladies like some tea, while we're waiting for Morganna?"
"Oh sure, Tish, that'd be nice!
Don't worry 'bout it! Kids'll be kids!" Pickelina
grinned, winking at her sister.
"Bring the tea in, Slut!"
Leticia bawled, in the direction of the
loudly enough to be heard above Power Angel's heartrending screeches.
moment later, an enormous, emerald green complected woman, a
giantess in stature and physique, shuffled fearfully into the room,
carrying a tray that held a silver tea service. She was arrayed in an
obscene parody of a maid's costume, in seasonal colors.
"Hey Picks! Look! Its the
green giant!" Prunella snickered, poking
her sister in the ribs.
"She don't look so
t'me!" Her sister replied with a grin.
"Careful with that tea
stupid, clumsy cow! " Leticia snapped.
"It belonged to my grandmother!"
"I'll be careful Mistress
Leticia...(snuffle)...h-honest I will!"
Leticia turned back to the
with an apologetic smile. "I'm
so embarrassed! Please overlook those awful feet of hers, but I've
never been able find the right shoes to go with her maid's uniform!
enough to fit those canal boats! Even
army boots don't come close! I've looked in every rummage and
three years now, and never been able to find a thing!"
Lady Supreme gulped down the
horrible sick feeling in the pit of her
stomach "Oh how awful That's Green Justice, and she acts scared
to death of this fat, little, Leticia woman! Oh what kind of
fiends can do these horrible things to SUPERHEROINES?"
As the elves were drinking
their tea, Wendy, Leticia's daughter came
back from her friend, Golgatha's house.
"Wendy! Get your brother, and
two get that damn angel, OFF that tree!"
"Yeah sure, Mom, but ya
gotta admit, she looks good up there! Hey! Ask
Pru and Picks! I bet they thought it was funny!" Wendy appealed to
"JUST DO IT!" Leticia said in a
near snarl, that brooked no further delay.
Wendy hurried off and got her
brother, and while the elves watched in
bemused fascination, removed the unfortunate Power Angel from the
"Oh, Pru, Picky, will you
excuse me just a
minute? I've got to get those two sluts,
Supermom and Superlass, started on some last minute cleaning!"
Leticia turned her head and snapped at Power Angel. "You
come too, you stupid slut, and stop yer whining; I TOLD ya not to let
As her mother hurried off,
pulling the still loudly sobbing Power
Angel along with her, Wendy said. "Don't worry, Ma, we'll entertain our
guests! Aunt Morg's still on the
phone! Why don't ya go get things ready, Twerp?"
"ME? Oh yeah! Naturally we
want PRINCESS Wendy t'have t'soil HER
hands, with any work, would we?"
"Mom said I should entertain our guests!"
"Yeah, sure she did! NOT! Ahh, all right; I'll do it!"
"It'll take me a
couple of minutes to get it set up!" Billy called back, as
he headed to the backyard
When the elves finished their
tea, Wendy said "C'mon out back! Ya gotta see this!"
The elves followed the
irrepressible, young supervillainess, once known as
Teen Witch, to the backyard, pulling
the hapless Lady Supreme along with them.
By the time they reached the
yard, Billy had things fully 'set up'!
gagged in horror at the sight awaiting them. Facing each other, from
opposite sides of a foul looking pit, were two tall, spectacularly
women, naked but for their boots. Their arms were tied behind their
backs, and their large impressive bosoms were roped
"Dear God that pitiful, old
Supergran, Super Lady,
she retired! Sh-she was my idol, when I was a little girl! I
wanted to be just
like her! She was the mightiest superheroine of
all time! She saved the world from being destroyed by a comet before
she retired! Now look at what these fiends have done to her! A-and the
is Silver Valkyrie! She's a real Valkyrie, practically a Goddess! I
her picture in my room, when I was in High School, I admired her so!
both look scared out of their wits, when that nasty kid, Billy, just
them! How can...(sob)..." The distraught captive couldn't finish
Evil chance was fulfilling an
early dream; Lady Supreme WAS going to be
JUST like her childhood idols!
Lady Supreme listened in
unbelieving horror, as Wendy explained the
Pickelina and Prunella.
"Hee, hee! Billy's got it
ready! Sometimes the
little retard is almost useful!
We call it a 'taffy pull'! Its kinda' like a tug of war, except
their big tits! That's the first time he ever put them there, though!
Hah! Sometimes even that dweeb gets a good idea! Ya' see,
don't let any of the sluts use the same bathrooms as the family, so
Billy hoses 'em down every morning, an' they got their own
kitty litter box in a corner of the barn! Billy's got to take that big
green one out back, though; she's just too big for the
litter box! She does her
pooper scooping, of course! We wouldn't expect even
a scuzz like Billy t'do that! Anyway, once a day, it all gets dumped in
cess pit there, that's between 'em! O'course, today the loser's gonna'
wind up in
Billy prepared to give the word to start.
Supergran was at a disadvantage
in this contest, as Letitia had her
scrubbing floors all morning, in preparation for Yule Fest.
As Supergran began the
painful process of exerting pressure,
with her enormous, oft abused breasts, she discovered she was doubly
handicapped. Her feet began sliding on slippery, treacherous
Morganna, who had finally
gotten off the phone, came out to join the
party, greeting the elves warmly, as they watched the unfortunate
Supergran, slipping and sliding toward the edge of the foul cess pit.
appreciatively to the elves. "Oh, I bet that
mischievous imp, Billy, put
axle grease on Gran's side! He does torment that pitiful, old bag
Pickelina and Prunella laughed,
in good-natured merriment, at the dignified,
matronly superheroine's frenzied efforts to save herself.
Morganna joined their laughter.
"She is a comical old trollop, though,
It was, perhaps a little
unsporting, for a semi-divine, Valkyrie Warrior,
but Supergran's foe,
seeing the majestic, old superheroine's
difficulty, gave a hard jerk on the ropes, even though the effect on
own sprightly bosom was excruciating.
Just then, Leticia came
out of the house.
"Damn it Billy! What are you
thinking? You know that stupid old sow
has to cook our dinner, in a little while!"
"Heck Ma! It was all Wendy's
"I just said we should have a
taffy pull! I didn't tell him t'put them
next to the cess pool!"
"I don't care WHOSE idea it
was! Get her cleaned up, RIGHT
NOW! Don't just hose her down, either! Use
disinfectant soap on her, and maybe you should douse her good with
carbolic acid, too!"
Leticia turned in irritation to
sister. "Geez Morg! Sometimes I don't
sense then these, brain dead kids of mine! Ya know we wanted t'do a
t'nite in honor of Shysty's appointment!"
Leticia rarely criticized her
revered, older sister, but she was prompted by the subject nearest and
dearest to her heart, the quality of her meals.
"Sorry Letty!" Morganna
answered, a little sheepishly. "I didn't think
After watching Billy hose down,
and hopefully sterilize, Supergran,
Morganna led the party back inside.
In the sitting room, Morganna
looked over the cringing Lady Supreme
with practiced, professional
"Oh yes she'll make a very nice addition to our little flock!
I've got your check, right here, Pru! Sorry, I got held up on the phone
on business like that!"
It was a terrible confirmation
of the hideous fear,
clutching at Lady Supreme's superb bosom. "D-dear God those elf devils
SELLING me to these horrible
fiends! I'll be a degraded, horribly abused prisoner here, like the
OH GOD HELP ME!"
"No problem, Morg! We was
ourselves! Glad ya like her!" Prunella
said accepting the check, and, after glancing
sharply at it, shook hands with Morganna, to seal the bargain.
the truth, we was a little surprised, ya could use another one!"
"Well, Letty said she was a
shorthanded! They're all big and strong
looking, but really, it's hard to get much work out of them! It takes
of them to screw in a light bulb, if you know what I mean! We've always
got room for one more at their feeding trough! Earlier this year, I
an offer to Mr. X for that Ms.
Americana of his, but he wasn't interested in selling, so I was glad
when you called, and said Ebeneezer turned this one down!" (See the Mr.
Site at Superheroine Central)
"Yeah! Old Scroogy's kinda' got
whatcha' might call management problems,
with them three he's got already!" Pickelina giggled.
With loud snickers, the
mischievous elves described the condition of
Yule Spirit, Ivy the Christmas Angel, and Holly Clause the last time
they had dropped by Ebenezer Scrooge's house.
"Yep! Poor old Scroogy said
got more squalling brats around 'is
house these days'n that Bob Cratchit, hisself!"
sympathetically. "Oh yes! That certainly would be a
That's why I always have our livestock neutered! Much less fuss! AND
they do say, it's so
HUMANE! I'll have to suggest it to
Ebenezer, next time I see him! An old bachelor like that probably
never thought of it! Of course, I'll have this one spayed, right after
Morgan added, nodding toward Lady Supreme.
Lady Supreme was cowering in
the corner, trembling in shock at being
sold like a discarded bundle of old clothes, and whimpering
at the horrifying prospect of sharing
the hideous fate of her sister
superheroines, already in Morganna's clutches. At
the casual announcement that she was to be 'humanely'
like a stray cat, she let out out a little
shriek, and collapsed in a swoon.
Morganna looked down at her new
purchase, perhaps pleasurably
anticipating orienting the new charge to the ways of her Clinic.
Prunella, her check still clutched tightly in her hand, thoughtfully
offered Morganna her scotch pine bough.
"Would you Ladies like to stay
for dinner?" Letitia hospitably invited the elves. "We'd love
"Aw gee, Tish, not tonight! Ya
know how it is Christm..., I mean Yule Eve!" Pickelina politely
herself, in deference to her hostess's Trollish
got one more stop to make, and it is gettin'
"Yeah, thanks for the invite though, Tish! We'd love to, another night!
It's time fer us t'get goin' tho'!" Prunella added.
In fact the elves did have
another stop, although, having just seen
Leticia's prized, gourmet chef hauled out of a cess pool, may have made
their decision easier.
"Oh Dear, I was hoping you'd
stay until Aunt Elfreda gets back! She's
doing some last minute Yule shopping! She's just like a girl, herself,
this time of year! She'll be sorry she missed you!
She always enjoys your stories so!"
"Oh yeah! Give
regards, an' wish her a Merry Chr-Yule! Tell 'er maybe we'll stop by
As the door closed behind
them, the elves looked at each other,
burst into gales of laughter.
Pickelina observed to her
sister. "GEEZ, Pruny! Hee, hee! THAT place gets t'be a bigger LOONY BIN
it usually is!"
"Yeah! Shit! Never could figure
out why anybody'd want t'keep all them
superheroines around the place, gettin underfoot! Worked out good fer
us tho'!" Prunella
replied, examining the certified check. "Think we'll stop by the
before it closes and deposit it, though! Can't be too careful! Friends
iz friends, but bizness iz bizness!"
The Elves were hardly airborne,
before Morganna began the
initial orientation of her new acquisition, with the infamous Rod of
Morgullus, the Morgul family's most prized heirloom.
Lady Supreme discovered there
are far worse ways to violate a
virtue, than being made the sexual plaything of Blue Elves, or EVEN of
being shamefully ravished and
molested by terrorists. The
Rod, a gigantic phallus, was said to be made to the specifications of
Morgul family founder, the Mighty Troll
King, Morgullus, and it was reputed
that one subjected to the power of
its brutal might, would
irreversibly surrender to the sexual domination of its wielder.
Morganna was convinced the Rod performed most effectively when
applied to a superheroine's hind quarters.
While Morganna performed the
family ritual on the screaming, terrified Lady
soundly punished Supergran for falling in the cess pool.
Leticia finished disciplining
the hapless Supergran, and herded the
sobbing, elderly crimefighter off to the kitchen, with an occasional
flick from her new, scotch pine switch. The stately, venerable Grande
Dame of Superheroines, at least twice Leticia's size, and many years
senior, squalled plaintively,
like a frightened child.
Left alone with her new slave,
Morganna discovered the Rod of Morgullus
had lived up to its reputation amazingly
well, almost embarrassingly so.
Having gotten to the bank, and
deposited their check, only minutes
before closing, the elves flew directly to Santa's North Pole
Outside the compound, Prunella unhitched Jingle Bell from the new sled.
"We figured you'd like to
volunteer t'replace Vixen tonight!" Prunella
said innocently to the reindeer.
Jingle Bell snarled,
his teeth, and lowered his head, to display his
huge spread of antlers, threateningly.
"Easy there, Big fella!"
put in. "I figure it's like this! You
can be a hero, by helping Santa out, or we let the old guy know who
knocked up that bimbo, Vixen, in the first place! That way, you'll be
marryin' the slut, with Santa AND his SHOTGUN fer witnesses! Ya know
persnickety Santa is, 'bout protectin' the public image o'them reindeer
Jingle Bell snorted
angrily. (Black mailing Bitches! Suppose I've
choice! Better a live hero,
then dead reindeer stew, or UGH, married! Humph! Maybe they'll make up
song about me
The unhappy reindeer
glumly, in resignation.
reluctant reindeer, Prunella and Pickelina burst, noisily, into the
compound, just as a green clad elf was hurrying away from Santa, toward
the production facilities.
"Hey Santa! We got good news fer
ya!" Prunella chortled. "We found these keys
out in the woods! We figure they're the ones ya lost, t'yer cigars and
Santa's face, already a little
less glum than it was that morning, broke into
his trademarked, jolly smile.
"Ho, ho! By Gadfrey! It IS my
keys! I wonder how they got out in the
woods? Lady Supreme had them, last I knew! When she took them,
hussy stuffed them
into her...well I guess ya'd call it her brassiere!"
"Oh yeah! That's another thing
we had t'tell ya! We heard that, that Lady
a real bad accident! Somebody accidentally spilled a pail o'wartberry
her, an' she had to be taken t'this special 'Clinic' place, where they
care o' poor, unfortunate superheroines, what have accidents!"
"Wartberry juice, hey?" Santa
exclaimed, looking sharply at the elves.
was no secret whose cellar was full of wartberry juice.
"Well, I'm sorry to hear of her
affliction, but I can't say as how
we'll miss her here at the Pole! Especially after what I just
"That ain't the only news,
neither Mr. C.!" Pickelina broke in. "This
o'ours, Dangle Bill, wants t'help ya out by taking Vixen's place on
sled t'night! Dontcha', Big Guy?"
The reindeer again nodded
"Ho, ho! Well thanks to you
girls, things are looking a lot brighter!
That wasn't the only good news either! That green elf you saw hurrying
off, is Marcie, my production chief! She got everything straightened
in China, and got back here, lickety-split! Figured out what went wrong
electronics line! Seems that danged buttinsky, Lady Supreme was
sticking her nose in there too, where it didn't belong! Been telling
foreman how to do
this, and do that, and that dad blamed fool did what she told him,
with Marcie or me, first! Anyway, Marcie's
got the electronics line working full tilt again, and she'll make
Christmas production quota by a smidgen, before blast off time!
a full compliment of
reindeer, I guess I better give up that fool idea about Florida!
don't know what I was thinking, anyway! Too
many people depending on me! Whole world waiting for me
tonight to deliver presents! I sure can't disappoint all those
"I told Marcie to give orders
to the elf production staff,
though, NO MORE
superhero costumes! Won't make THAT mistake again! Yep! That Marcie is
wonder! With everything else she's got to do, she's installed one of
them GPS gizmos on my sled! That'll be a
blessing tonight without Vixen! Vixen's got a wonderful sense of
direction! Course she's a very talented reindeer in any number of
A kick to the shin, from an
elfin slipper, wiped a leering smirk off
face. Fortunately, Santa was noting something down in his pocket
notebook, and apparently missed the silent exchange.
Looking up again, Santa beamed.
"Ho, ho! Just making a note to double
Marcie's bonus! And
maybe there'll be something a
little special in your elf slippers tomorrow morning,
Jingle Bell snorted at that.
(Yeah I gotta' work all night, and these
two bimbos'll get diamonds,
again, and I'll get hay an' oats, IF
they remember to feed me! And the
ding bats still can't get my name straight! They'll get a piece of my
mind tomorrow, you can bet!) The following day, Christmas Day, when
speak, Jingle Bell was so exhausted by his
unaccustomed night's exertion, that he slept most of the day, and
forgot to properly tell the elves off.
"Well its getting late, and
we better be gettin' home!" Pickelina
said. "You'll have a lot t'do too, if yer flyin' t'night!"
"Well thanks again to both of
you, for ALL your help!" Santa replied, with
a jolly smile "And a Very Merry Christmas t'ya both!"
When the elves were gone,
Santa took Jingle Bell's bridle, to lead
to the staging area. With a chuckle, the jolly, old gentleman glanced
the reindeer's red
"Well it was mighty thoughtful of those elf girls to go
all the trouble of dropping off my keys, and lending me this lazy cuss,
so I better just let them think they put one over on me, especially
since they seem to have solved that other problem we had, so handy
Santa wasn't born yesterday, though, not by a long sight, and I'll be
surprised if that foal of Vixen's doesn't turn up, with one of these
red noses! Have to see they don't torment the little critter like they
did poor Rudolph! I was mighty lax there!"
Outside the compound, Prunella
observed. "Looks like we gotta' walk home!"
"Yeah, but that's okay! I feel
kinda good 'bout the way things turned out!
Who'd o'believed, it'd be Blue Elves what saved Christmas!"
oughta' make one o'them Hallmark Channel,
Christmas Specials 'bout US!
Nice night fer a walk, anyways!" Prunella replied.