You Never Forget Your First Time

While I was attending the WSE last Fall, I had my first session ever with Maria Calo. I wasn’t looking specifically to meet one of the largest female bodybuilders in the world. The truth is, my tastes tend towards more mainstream FBB’s and fitness competitors, whereas Maria is on the extreme edge of muscularity. The reason I took a session with her was that she was available. Sometimes you get lucky.

Following her into her room, I had no idea what to expect. And while I don’t intend to go into the details of my session, not because either of us has anything to be embarrassed about, but because it really wouldn’t make for good reading, I will say that I had a lot of fun. At first I found Maria’s size to be impressive and even a bit intimidating. But by the end of the hour, my perceptions changed. I found Maria to be very nice, intelligent, playful, competitive, and yes - feminine. I also had the pleasure of chauffeuring her around in my ’69 442 convertible with the top down. A fantasy I’ve joked about with Rambler, but one which I never expected to fulfill.

I enjoyed my first session with Maria so much, I agreed to see her again a few weeks later at Lisa Houston’s residence in Philadelphia. Again, I enjoyed myself a great deal, and afterwards took her to lunch in Chinatown. Maria’s originally from Argentina and has only been living in this county and speaking English for about a year and a half. And although she manages to make herself understood better than a lot of people who where born here, occasionally there was a bit of confusion between us. Take the following exchange as we were looking for a restaurant:

Maria said, "The last time I was here, I had dog. It was the first time I ever had dog, and when I found out what it was, I couldn’t eat it. It was very dry." "You know, even though I like dogs, I might try some myself if I was in a country like Thailand. But I’m surprised that they’d have it here, I’d think that’d be illegal." Perplexed, Maria responded, "They have dogs all over, hanging in the windows, there are some dogs over there." Wandering over to the window Maria indicated, half expecting to see somebody’s pet poodle roasting on a skewer, I said, "All I see are chicken and ducks - oh, ducks."

So what else did I learn about Maria besides the fact that she doesn’t like and can't pronounce duck? Over the course of a few hours with her, we discussed bodybuilding, martial arts, and life in general. And do you know what? Maria’s got the intellect, heart, and personality to match that massive frame. Things that will be there forty years from now when she’s shriveled up to one hundred and fifty pounds and her biceps barely crack the fifteen inch mark. Hey, any woman who complains that customs wouldn’t let her bring her swords into the country is my kind of gal!

Maria is also a former track and field athlete who threw shotput and was a sprinter. In fact, her best time in the hundred was 10.8, just a few tenths off the world record. She has a broad martial arts background, having studied Kung Fu, TKD, and Hapkido. She is an IFBB professional bodybuilder, and works as a nutritionist and personal trainer. She also proved to be knowledgeable about a number of subjects from the type of tea we were being served to the bonsai trees in the shop next door. If you run out of things to talk about with Maria, I doubt that it's her fault.

But enough substance, on to the pics!

As you can see Maria's huge. When I met her she was 185lbs at five five and eleven percent body fat.




What's that you ask? Can Maria do differential equations? Uh, I really don't know, but you can calculate the square root of that bicep if you know it's seventeen and a quarter inches and that she's done 140lb curls.



She’s got a back like a flying squirrel! It's not had to imagine that she's benched 310lbs.





As big as her upper body is, it's those quads which demand your attention.





Sorry Arnold, they're bigger than yours ever were, and probably stronger too. Maria's quads are composed of twenty nine inches of fast twitch muscle capable of launching her clients into low Earth orbit. And with a 1350lb leg press, I think that she built her upper body just loading the sled.




I know what some of you out there are wondering. What would it feel like to stick your head between those magnificent quads and let her squeeze? Well what do you think it feels like? It hurts!




We make a wide couple. On the streets of Philly, I was reminded of just who I was walking next to every time I bumped into those cannonball delts. But the picture of that broad back that I remember best came as we were leaving the restaurant. Opening the inner door for her, I followed Maria into a breezeway the size of a telephone booth. Knowing that I’m a door-opening kind of guy, she stopped dead in front of me, and stood perfectly motionless as I struggled like a salmon for about twenty seconds trying to reach around those broad shoulders before I managed to get enough leverage to open the outer door. I couldn’t see the expression on her face, but I had the distinct impression that she was enjoying every moment of it.

Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara, Han Solo and Princess Leia, Dragon and the Empress Lady Dragon? What’s up with that? I’ve only got two things to say about this picture. First, despite appearances, I’m not the one in the dominant position here. And second, this is NOT like kissing your sister.



Unfortunately, I only got to spend a few minutes talking with Lisa, but it was enough to impress me. The woman has an aura about her. She’s all at once sweet, intelligent, sensual, competent - and dangerous. She’d also like a piece of me, and she’s going to get it. I just wish I knew which one, and whether she just wants to borrow or break it.

So what did I learn from this experience? Having only had two sessions with the same woman, I'm in no position to draw any broad generalizations, I'll leave that up to pundits like TomNine and WB270. But I do wish that I had tried this years ago, and if there are any fence sitters out there like myself, my advice would be "go for it."

Thanks Maria! And thanks Lisa for hosting us - Dragon