Diana the Valkyrie

Diana the Valkyrie's clubhouse

A hard man is good to beat

The Clubhouse

The Clubhouse is where all the social things happen. Looking at pictures, playing video and reading stories is all very well, but it isn't as good as a frolic with a friend.

So, in the Clubhouse, there's the Message Boards, the chat room, forthcoming events you can attend, and other things that involve other people. Because fun is always more fun when it's shared.

You're going to like my club.

The Message Boards, you can read and leave messages for other people

A message board is a place to discuss particular issues. Diana the Valkyrie believes in freedom of speech, but also in good manners and politeness. Feel free to say what you want, and to disagree with other people's opinions, but do so politely.

Members should log in with their usual username/password. Non-members can also use the message boards, use the username "non-member" password "sesame" to get in to this part of the web site.

you can look at just your Favourite Message Boards.

Diana the Valkyrie's chat room.

Chat room etiquette

Choose any name you want, but preferably stick to the same name each time, so people know you.

You can pretend to be Lord Nelson or Bill Clinton if you want, that's all good fun, but please don't pretend to be one of the many regulars in the chat room, that's just not Cricket. And it will A) get you banned for a length of time, and B) you won't be able to do that in future, because you won't be able to use handles.

You can send private messages, but etiquette is that almost every message should be public. People can choose to ignore private messages.

Argument, debate, discussion, flirting, disagreement, setting up appointments, boasting, that's all good fun. Plain abuse isn't fun (but ornate creative insulting can be).

The following commands do special things: /me /everyone /nick /colour /roll /ipaddress /slap someone /readpm /readpublic /cockney on /pms on /latin /whatis /whois

The /ipaddress last one can be used if you want to identify yourself in such a way that you can't be misleading, it's the IP Address of the server you're logged in to. You don't have to use it if you don't want to, of course.

You can switch PMs on and off with /PMson and /PMsoff

And you can talk in Cockney too; either check the Cockney box when you enter, or else use "/Cockney on" and "/Cockney off". Likewise Yiddish and Strine.

You'll find the Web Site Chiming Clock in there, you might say hello to her. She'll also tell you the time if asked properly. And she tells lightbulb jokes, and Clinton jokes if you ask in the right way, and can also dispense words of wisdom. I'll leave you to work out how.

If you want to post pictures in the chat room, here's how. You do http://www.somewebsite.com/somewhere/something.jpg and Clepsy will turn that into a link. Make sure you do the http:// part.

What that does, is it make a link out of the URL you gave, that people can click on and see the picture or not as they choose. Then their back button takes them back to the chatroom. You can also put up WAVs or Midi files that way.

Smilies: try :-) :-( ;-) :D :p :-O huh grr

The Chatroom Tatler.

Would you like to know what people say in the chatroom when you're not there? Would you like to know when people talk about you "behind your back"? You can read and search the Archives, of course, but that can be a time-consuming daily job. Or you can give Clepsydra a list of keywords to scan for, and a couple of hours after the end of each day, she'll send you an email. That email will contain all mentions of your chosen keywords, with a couple of lines before and after to give you the context.

Keywords can be whatever you like, and can include spaces. You can have several keywords if you like.

Diana the Valkyrie's chat room recent archive.

The first thing that a lot of people do before chatting, is bring themselves up to date with what's been going on in the last few days.

An obvious consequence of this, is that everything you say in the public chatroom, is preserved for posterity, for ever. So don't say things in the chatroom that you don't want other people to hear about.

You can also go read the old chat archive.

Diana the Valkyrie's chat room old archive.

The archives here are months old and more. I've put them here so that non-members can read them and see what goes on in the chatroom (read the newsletters for information about who's who). Nicole is Nicole Bass, Andrulla is Andrulla Blanchette, Sandy is Sandy Bouwman, Zee is Zee the Pitbull, LadyDragon is Lisa Houston, Irngal is Lady Victoria, Sonia is Sonia Fernandes). Ghost is Mike (Mike died in a wrestling session, so he came back as the Ghost of Mike), Thillybruth, Hector and Ogg are Rhys, anyone whose initials are FBB is ShyGuy, Blu is Bob Bass and you'll have to read the archives for the rest.

It's all there. Discussions about FBBs, Gilbert and Sullivan opera, biceps, Feydeau farces, Lift-and-carry, bible study, wrestling sessions, the famous sub-a-thon, when sub stayed logged on for 24 hours at the command of Dom, and everyone kept logging in to keep him company, the extraordinary login by Ghost while perched on Nicole's shoulders during a session.

Diana the Valkyrie's coffee lounge, where anything can happen, and usually does.

Search the Chat Room Archives

If there's a word, phrase, name or email address you're looking for, you can ask Sandra to search the Chat Room Archives Or you can search the more recent chatroom archives with this up-to-the-minute searcher.

Tell people about yourself

In this area, you can tell the world about yourself. Give out as much or as little information as you want. And you can use HTML, if you know how; if you don't know how, then you don't use HTML, just type it in, or cut-and-paste from Notepad or Wordpad.

And you can read about other members. But only what they choose to tell you, of course.

The Message Board Archives; read all the old messages

We found that some browsers have a lot of problems if there's a lot of messages on a message board. Netscape on Windows was working fine, but not on a Mac. WebTV users had all sorts of problems, too, and also some AOL users. I guess when you try to deal with something truly massive, some guys just wimp out, and the guys who wrote those browsers, never envisaged a Valkyrie message Board.

So we'll only have the latest messages on the message boards, and as soon as the number of messages reaches 200, then Mavis the Valkyrie (she looks after all aspects of the Message Boards) will chop off the oldest 100 messages, reformat them nicely, and put them in the archive.

Search the Message Board Archives

If there's a word, phrase, name or email address you're looking for, you can ask Sandra to search the Message Board Archives.

Women who wrestle

Most of the women who wrestle travel around, and you can meet them in your home town. For this, you'll need to check out their travel plans.

If you're a lady wrestler and you'd like to be added to this list, contact me.

Events where you can meet people

Bodybuilding, wrestling and similar events that you can attend; you can usually meet a lot of the FBBs that are featured in the Galleries, as well as people you might know from this web site.

Personal advertisements

People who wish to post personal advertisements, with or without pictures, are welcome to send them to me by email, for posting here. And you can use the message boards for answering until you feel happy enough to exchange email addresses, phone numbers, whatever.

Voice Chat Lines

No, you can't phone up Diana the Valkyrie; send me an email. But there are lines you can call if you want to talk voice with a Valkyrie, and as I hear about them, I'll list them.

Various pastimes and games

You can chat with Elizabeth the Cyber-Valkyrie, look at the Valkyrie-cam, do a jigsaw puzzle, play chess, enter the Colossal Cave for an Adventure, try to visit the Forbidden World, play Asteroids, Breakout, Bridges, Space Invaders, or Tetris. There's a game of golf, and you can help Cliffie from Cheers deliver the mail.

The Cockney Internet

I was born within the sound of Bow Bells, so I'm a Cockney. I grew up speaking like a Cockney. Cockney isn't just rhyming slang. So, I've translated the entire internet into Cockney.

Ulysses video tape reviews

People often ask "Is such-and-such wrestling/fighting tape any good?" Well, that's a subjective opinion, of course. So we're collecting opinions on videos, via a survey. If you've watched any wrestling or other combat tapes from any vendors, please use this form to express your opinions of the tape. We'll be collecting it all together into a database that people can use as a buying guide.

You can see the first results of the tape reviews

Mixed fighting movies

There's a searchable database of Mixed Fighting Movies.

The interactive, never-ending story

You can read this interactive story, and contribute by adding more chapters.

Valkyrie of the Month

Members can vote for the Valkyrie of the Month; the winner gets a $$$ prize.

There's also an Australian version

Diana's Magic Carpet will whisk you to anywhere on the web site

(c) 1996 Diana the Valkyrie. A hard man is good to beat.