Blue Undercover
Police Blue Episode 1-24: Time Bust
 by Plato Voltaire
Copyright 1997

Ratings Advisory: The Earth Media Content Group has determined that this story can only be read by people above the age of 18. It contains subjects and situations that are suitable only for mature audiences. Parents with underaged children will need to activate their content-advisory programs now.


It was the planning meeting for the last episode of the first season of Police Blue, the animated version of the Boobs in Bluecomic. The episode was being made as a one-hour special. After going through the original pile of scripts it boiled down to two. One script was about how Mr Big, the reoccurring villain in the series, had manufactured mind-control bras in a bid to take over New Darwin. The other script was the inevitable time-travel kick. Quinn decided on a simple coin toss.
    The mind-control bra bit will have to wait for next season.

[Show introduction: Theme music plays. A fast-paced action sequence of the two main characters, Lynnae and June. Running, jumping, dodging, shooting, and rolling, showing off their physical prowess while their breasts bounce underneath their police shirts. Gawking criminals, mesmerized by these antics, are easily subdued and handcuffed. The duo then stood back-to-back and went into silhouette, showing their ample shapes. Cue in show and episode title.]


The warehouse exploded spectacularly. The buxom police duo, Lynnae and June, were chasing Mr Big's van in said warehouse a few moments earlier. Mr Big threw a grenade and missed the duo's police car. The small explosive landed next to some volatile chemical barrels. The vehicles barely avoided being consumed in the flames. Lynnae was bucked forward in her seat, the safety belts dug deep into her chest flesh and waist.
    "Dammit! Mr Big is gonna to pay for that!" With that, Lynnae lowered her window and started firing her service gun at the van.
    "Aim for the main lift repulsars, Lyn!" June was pushing the police cruiser hard, closing the distance. "That dirty old man is ours now!"
    In the van Mr Big was trying to get an unusual piece of equipment to work. His jack-of-all-trades assistant, Albert, was doing his best but the van was a cargo hauler, not a street machine. "Sir, the cops are closing in."
    "That wouldn't be a problem if this alien contraption worked! I knew I've shouldn't have traded that original Hank Aaron card for this piece of supposed genuine Roswell Crash equipment. It's as useful as a Betamax machine!"
    Albert had long ago stopped asking Mr Big from making such obscure references. Mr Big gave the strange device a swift hit to the side. To his surprise the machine came to life and the van was surrounded in a blue haze.
    The duo were surprised by the site of that haze. "What the hell?" June said as she took her foot off the accelerator. "Is that thing on fire?"
    It certainly wasn't. An inky-black disk appeared in front of the van. It went in, and a splash of that blue haze hit the police cruiser. June slammed on the repulsar brakes hard.
    "What in the literal blue blazes was that?" June looked around her. The haze was rapidly clearing.
    Lynnae was rubbing her sore chest and waist. She was looking around too. Then she saw something that made her tug June's shirt sleeve. "June, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."
    June looked at where Lynnae was pointing. At least, the skyline of New Darwin was the same. As for the women...
    The women walking up and down the street all had breast enhancement. Their massive mounds were held in check by what could only be super-strong bras. Apparently only girls under the age of fourteen were spared from carrying massive mammaries. For now.
    "O.K. June. You're the science fiction expert. What just happened?" Lynnae said this as she watched a particularly top-heavy woman trying to pick up a piece of paper. The woman fell over comically instead.
    June tapped the steering wheel. "I bet Mr Big got a time machine. That black disk must lead back to the past." She gestured to the still-present rip in the space-time continuum.
    "So he went back in time, changed the past, and created a future to fit his perverted vision. If that's the case why haven't we changed as well?", Lynnae said. She was looking at her bust as well as June's. They should've been much bigger than their current, but still expansive, sizes.
    "I guess that blue haze somehow protected us from the changes in the time line." June looked at the black disk. It appeared to be shrinking. She mashed her foot on the accelerator.
    Lynnae looked on as the black disk got closer and closer. "Great. Now two of New Darwin's finest get to travel back in time to fight their most insidious and lecherous, foe. I hope we don't end back in the caveman era."
    The cruiser disappeared into the disk. Then the disk itself quickly vanished.

It was a crisp, cool April night along a two-lane highway somewhere in Iowa. A man carrying a gas can was heading for a gas station. As he cursed himself for not filling up his car when he had the chance he heard a weird sound and saw some freaky electrical effects. Then, right in front in him, he saw a vehicle come out of a totally black disk. It was right above the road and it seem to fly mere inches above the ground. The vehicle extended some tires that squealed as they connected to the road. The sound of an old man laughing hysterically also came from that strange vehicle. The man looked on like a stunned penguin as the vehicle went down the highway at high speed, laughter receding into the distance.
    Trying to make sense of the situation the man was startled a minute later when another vehicle appeared from that strange black disk. It looked like a police car. The red and blue lights were there but it had no tires. It flew past him, leaving him even more confused. A moment later the car was gone. The disk was gone. The man's mind definitely was out to lunch. He toppled over and went to sleep.

June quickly configured the cruiser to ground mode. Four tires popped out and made contact with the road. The headlights came on and she killed the rotating lights. She pulled over to the side of the road and placed the car in idle. She turned on the radio, making some adjustments to the frequencies.
    "What are you doing? We should be after Mr Big." Lynnae was tapping her pistol butt impatiently.
    "You should know that if we go around using our 25th century equipment we could get some innocent people killed. Not to mention risking the chance of ourselves not getting back home." June finally finished with the radio. It was an AM radio station that played over the speakers. Finally she heard what she was waiting for.
    "April 19, 1997. At least we didn't end up in 17th century Massachusetts. We would've been burned as witches."
    Lynnae scratched her head. "Hey, I thought we'll end up back in time on Outback. Not ... wherever we are." Lynnae looked at the sky. New Ayers Rock wasn't the moon in the sky, but it did look familiar.
    "That's Luna, the moon of Earth. Besides, Lynnae, it doesn't necessarily follow that going back in time means staying in the same physical space. Doctor Who said that."
    "Good for you and your Doctor Who. I don't suppose there's something in our police manuals saying what officers should do when finding themselves in the past?"
    June smiled crookedly, causing an exaggerated sweat bead to appear on Lynnae's forehead. "Well it looks like watching all those science fiction and time travel films will pay off after all. But first I suggest we change out of our uniforms and into our street clothes. I don't believe what we're wearing now will past muster." Indeed, no female cop in the 20th century would were a skirt that short. After donning their street clothes the duo then activated the cruiser's chameleon circuit. Parts of the car changed shape and new contours were formed. The license plates were made to read as a US federal government vehicle. It would now pass at close inspection as a late 1990's car. The duo then headed out, cruising at a good speed down the highway. Going by the road signs they decided to head for the city of Des Moines.
    Lynnae looked thoughtfully at the passing moon-lit Iowa croplands. "O.K. you venerable fountain of information. Now we need to build a background for ourselves. What will be ideal? We need to be in a position to find out how and where Mr Big will change history. A position where we can be gone for long periods without raising suspicion. A position where no one will really care what we did as long as we put in the necessary nods and umms." The duo thought long and hard. Then in a flash of inspiration they did a high-five.
    "That's it. College students!"


Their next immediate problem was cash. Though she hated the idea, Lynnae pawned her diamond earrings and necklace. The pawnshop owner originally gave them $1,500. June, though, with the help of her rather open shirt, persuaded him to triple the price. Next they found a small apartment typical of what college students would get. The landlord wanted some identification but June again employed her open shirt. He settled for straight cash each month and asked fewer questions. That only left finding a suitable job to fit their cover story. After going through the want ads they settled on an opening for waitresses at a local diner. Since it was only part-time work their documentation needs were minimal. The duo soon corrected that.
    They next went to a computer store and got what was considered a mid-ranged home system. After some stop-and-starts they finally figured how the thing worked. Then they made a special connection from one of their minicomps to the 20th century computer. In a minute the minicomp had connected itself to the phone system and was giving the duo Internet access. Three straight days later the two cops had a complete, and convincing, background cobbled up. After making some clothing, food, photocopying, furniture, faxing, and other identification and supply needs the duo then felt confident enough to apply at Drake University (in Des Moines) for the summer session.
    In the few weeks before the session started the duo prowled the net. They concentrated on the weird new sites, because wherever Mr Big was strange stuff followed. Considering the size of the net the duo soon decided to let the minicomp do the searching, selecting key words and concepts to look out for. Meanwhile the duo continued to adjust to late 20th century life.

"Yuck! They expected people to actually sit on a toilet seat?" Lynnae was disdainfully looking at the porcelain throne. "There's no force field to separate my bottom from the lid. I could get germs from that thing, 25th century antibiotics or not."
    June was brushing her teeth and did a spit-take. "Well, Lynnae, when in Rome do what the Romans do." She wiped her mouth and headed for the bedroom, her panty-clad bottom moving quite nicely.
    "I expected you to say that, jungle woman. Every time I use this thing I expect to die from some exotic disease." Admitting defeat, she lowered her drawers (hidden from view, of course, so the show can keep its T14 rating) and sat on the john.
    "Don't take too long on the john, Lynnae. The bus will be at the stop in 20 minutes." The duo decided to use public buses instead of the cruiser. There was the chance that the futuristic car would be found out for what it was. It was safety locked up in the garage they rented from the apartment landlord. It was a nice, clear May morning and the start of the summer session. Thanks to prolong treatments their 35 year-old bodies still passed off as 19. They certainly looked like the two, eager-beaver freshmen they pretended to be. The duo got on the bus and headed for the campus.

Three weeks into the summer session Lynnae was in the main computer lab on campus. She was doing some research for her entry-level English book report. Her minicomp could've easily made one for her but Lynnae decided not to do that. Besides, she liked doing the research herself. After making some notes she clicked on the net browser's search button. The computer froze up for the third time in the last half-hour. Deciding she'd had enough, Lynnae went to see the computer lab supervisor to inform him of her problem.
    Joe Dimsdale carefully moved the cursor over the image on his monitor. Photo-morphing by hand required a precision touch. A die-hard big-bust lover, he was enhancing his first photo. Joe was fixated on giving the bikini-clad woman in the photo breasts the size of watermelons. It was the darn shadow effects that were giving him trouble. He didn't notice that Lynnae was right behind him.
    "Excuse me, Joe. My computer keeps freezing up." Joe was completely startled. A exaggerated vein and sweat drop appeared on his head. He vainly tried to cover the picture but he almost pushed the monitor to the floor. He grabbed and held it like his life depended on it.
    "Ah ... ummm ... sure. I'll be there in a minute." Great. That'll be the last time I do this kind of work on a university computer. I'll just do it on my system at home. Joe was about to close the picture when Lynnae placed her hand on the mouse. Joe was more than a little shocked to have such a pretty girl's hand on his.
    "I see your problem. Here, I can fix it for you." In a few swift strokes the enhanced picture looked and could pass for real, if a woman having watermelon-sized jugs could be considered real. Lynnae let go of the mouse and went back to her computer. Joe was left looking at her backside and the cute bottom that showed through her jeans. He made it his mission to find out more about this cute girl and how she got such an artistic eye.


June and Lynnae got off the bus and walked the two remaining blocks to the apartment. It was now the fifth week of the summer session and so far no leads on Mr Big had turned up. Every day they went to the university library and scanned the daily papers. The News of the Weird column was quite entertaining but had nothing that could be linked to Mr Big. They entered the apartment and closed the door behind them. In a minute they were down to their underwear, glad to have their waitress uniforms off. Their work back at the Tea Cup in New Darwin has served them in good stead. The clientèle where they worked now was virtually the same, though the two had to do the hot tea to the crotch bit twice before the jerks knew enough not to even look at them the wrong way.
    June had first dibs on the shower. Meanwhile Lynnae took off her bra (shown from the back of course, naughty readers) and put on her favorite nightshirt (from some funny flat-screen anime called Animanics). While cleaning her toenails Lynnae couldn't help but feel that she was being watched. Turning her head to look out of the second-story window she saw a black-clad figure in a tree across the street. The figure was looking at her through binoculars. Great, looks like I have a secret admirer, she thought as she continued with her toenails.
    Last week on campus there was a protest by a 'womens national organization' in front of the student union. In the 25th century it was an everyday fact that everyone had and exercised their rights under the law. June wasn't impressed by this group's antics. Getting on the stage, she announced that being a 'liberated' woman meant that no 'societal constraint' will work on her. To prove her point she removed her shirt and exposed her large, shapely, but thankfully bra-clad, bosom to the audience. She was greeted with enthusiastic applause, cat and wolf calls, and great cheering from the male audience members and not so few females. She was escorted off the stage by campus security but that didn't prevent supportive students from attempting to shake her hand in congratulations.
    Lynnae didnít like peeping toms and decided to take care of this one. She got up and went into the kitchen and made it look like she was cooking a late dinner, encouraging the tom to stay put. Carefully she crept into the bedroom and got her compact police stun pistol. She then got out of the apartment and made an end-run around the tom. When she was sure of a clear shot and that no-one was looking she fired. The tom went limp and fell to the ground, branches breaking his fall. Lynnae carried the prone figure back to the apartment. She was going to put the scare into him so bad that he'll never look at her again.

Joe's head felt woozy as he returned to consciousness. Before him was Lynnae and a now nightshirted June (who was wearing a Green Hornet shirt), looking like two cops about to go into the 'good-cop, bad-cop' routine. He got the jump on them, talking before they did.
    "Before you scare me away I want you two to know that I know who you aren't. Not from this state, or even this country, at least."
    Lynnae eyed June levelly. June's stunt last week may have encouraged some news hound to get some dirt on them. Perhaps the cover story and background was found out for what it was? "Where do you think we come from, Joe? You peeping pervert."
    Joe felt that he was finally in his element. "You two are from the future. I've seen enough Star Trek,X-Files and Doctor Who episodes to know for sure." The duo were looking at him like he was a nut. That only encouraged him. "I checked your files. Thanks to my superior hacker skills I was able to check them all. It's a good attempt but there were some minor mistakes. Ones that could be overlooked but to a person who knows what to look for they stand out like forest fires. You, Lynnae, marked your place of birth as New Darwin. Well, there is no such town in the US or in any English-settled country or former colony. And you, June," Joe was pointing an accusing finger at her, "you wrote down your birth date as 02-30-78. February has only 28 days, and has 29 only on leap years. People would assume you meant January, not February." He eyed the two cops, waiting for some denial.
    Lynnae placed her hand on her hips, arms akimbo. "Well, I can safely say that's the most convoluted piece of logic to prove we're from another time. And of course you're right."
    "Lynnae!" June hissed the name.
    "Admit it, June. We haven't had that much luck in finding info on Mr Big, even with Gertrude working all the time." Lynnae indicted to the minicomp attached to the minitower computer, looking like a fancy Gameboy. "If Joe here could find the dirt on us then maybe he can help us locate Mr Big."
    June shook her head. "OK, Lynnae. I'm concerned that this might change the timeline in some unforseen way." She looked at Joe with complete attention. It made him nervous. "If he gets any ideas on exposing us I'll kill him."
    Lynnae devilishly looked at the now frozen-faced Joe. "No way, June. He was looking at my half-naked body. I get first dibs. BUT only if he spills his guts out. Not before."
    Joe felt a little better. June and Lynnae sat on either side of him. Lynnae held Joe's hand and spoke. "Brace yourself, kid. What I'm about to tell you will be pretty hard to digest."


Lynnae was right, Joe thought. He had to take what the cops were saying as truth. Otherwise it sounded like it came straight out of some sci-fi novel. Joe went over what they said in his mind. Humanity moved out into space and nearly a hundred worlds were colonized. Aside from pirates and an active mob there's been no wars. And there been some side benefits too. His lecherous eye was looking at the shapes that were evident through the duo's nightshirts. He wondered if all the women in the future were so well-endowed as them. As for this Mr Big character... Well, he sounded like some demented amalgam of Snidely Whiplash, Mr Burns, Wily E Coyote and Lex Luthor. As for him being at least 1,000 years old? Heck, might as well make him an immortal from Highlander.
    According to the police, Mr Big was behind the scenes of every major criminal and financial event of the human race. He had a hand in the 1929 Stock Market Crash. He helped get a certain Mr Capone on his feet and made him mob boss of Chicago. He was the one that convinced the Indians to sell Manhattan Island for a handful of trinkets. He had stolen (correction, eventually would steal) the gold from the Martian Main Bank in 2245. As difficult it was to take in, if not believe, Mr Big was also responsible for encouraging Bill Gates to create Windows 95. Wait, Joe thought, that last bit I can believe, along with him having Elvis whacked for not agreeing to a new secret recording contract.
    Deep in thought, he was interrupted when June held his hand and placed it to her chest. The breasts underneath certainly felt warm and firm to Joe. He was enthralled by the sensations. "Joe, now that you know about Mr Big, we certainly need your help. Just as you looked up our records Lynnae here did some checking on your background two weeks ago, you naughty boy." She winked an eye at the now-embarrassed 19 year-old computer nerd. "Your knowledge of Internet porn and sex sites will be an immense help to us. Mr Big will certainly use the net in his perverted plan to change history. Can you see it in your heart to help two police women in their quest to stop him?"
    "Gee, layer it on like a coating of chocolate fudge, will you?" Lynnae moved her head in a tasking motion. Not wanting to be left out she took Joe's other hand and placed it on her left thigh. "Now, Joe, nod your head if you hear me." The enraptured young man nodded in agreement. "Good. Now I know you're part of some Internet group that's fixated on big bosoms. Talk to them and find out if they know of someone trying to sell some far-out idea of increasing a woman's bust in mere weeks. I promise you that if you get information leading to the capture of Mr Big that you'll have my and June's eternal gratitude."
    It was June's turn to make a disapproving look. "And I thought I was the tease! Well, Joe, ready to make the world safe for big busts?"
    Joe muttered incoherently and got up. He mechanically walked to the door and left. June got up, locked and chained the door. "I bet that if he survives the night we'll have an excellent helper for the foreseeable future."

The next three weeks were a blur to Joe. Every day he met with the shapely and quite endowed future police babes. He burned out his retinas as he tackled every porn site on the net. Waiting, chatting, looking, downloading (Not that kind of downloading! Get your minds out of the gutter, gentle readers!). Then all his efforts were rewarded. A new, but obscure, site was posted to the net. It looked and felt like the site he was looking for. He copied the URL bookmark to disk and headed for the duo's apartment. It was something that couldn't wait.
    30 minutes later he was at the apartment. It was late and the duo were in their nightwear. Lynnae had on a much smaller nightshirt that exposed her flat and firm stomach. Her volleyball-sized breasts were barely covered. Her panties were pink and were imprinted with images of Bugs Bunny. June wore a slightly larger bed shirt, but her basketball-sized knockers were testing even that shirt's capacity. To top it off, her panties were quite abbreviated, showing much of her shapely, heart-shaped bottom. Apparently sexuality in the future is more dependent on personality compatibility than body display. But having big tits certainly doesnít hurt, Joe thought. He shook himself from his wool gathering and gave June the disk. She inserted the 3.5" floppy into the computer and activated the link. In the flash the browser brought up the site.
    "Lyn. Look at this. I think we have him." Lynnae bounded up and stood behind June, bending over to see the screen. The shirt moved, exposing part of her breasts (and, of course, just enough was covered to keep the show's T14 rating).
    "Yep, that's him. I wonder what's going through that perverted, demented little mind of his."
    Joe went over and saw the image for himself. He expected to see some devilish, handsome super-hunk. Instead Mr Big looked like a piece of shrivel-up shoe leather with eyes. He looks like Mr Burns on a bad-skin day, he thought as the duo continued to page through the site.

Mr Big sipped some iced lemonade outside an isolated farmhouse in the wilds of southern Minnesota. He had on an outrageous Mexican sunhat, loud Hawaiian shirt and shorts, and sunglasses that had survived the '60s. He was reading a copy of the New York Times when Albert showed up with some computer printout.
    "Here are the site statistics and e-mail responses that you requested, Mr B."
    "Excellent! Thank you, Albert." He took the printouts and thumbed through them, smiling like a kid on Christmas Day. "Yes! We've got enough interest in our project to make it viable. It's now on to Phase 2."
    "Sir, I know that you're the pre-eminent criminal mind in history, but why haven't you contacted yourself in this time period? Aren't two heads better than one?"
    Mr Big took off his sunglasses and looked at Albert. "I considered that, but next to my breast fetish knifing myself in the back is my biggest fantasy. No, I'll be making an opportunity for my younger self to exploit. It'll take a few decades but I foresee myself, my younger self, that is, becoming the richest man in the WORLD!!" Mr Big laughed but was stopped by a coughing and hacking fit. He took a sip of lemonade and rested a bit.
    "You are great and terrible, oh master! There's no end to your evil." Albert performed the ritualistic phrase and bow he always did when Mr Big made a profound statement. "I'll be making dinner now. Please excuse me, Sir."
    "You're excused, but do fetch me some of that Minnesota Corn Lightning from the basement. The last time I had some was back during Prohibition."
    "By your command." With that Albert went to do his master's bidding. Mr Big put his sunglasses back on and picked up his sun reflector. He was determined to at least get something of a tan this afternoon.


Three weeks later, June saw that Mr Big's site was updated. Reading it carefully, she had Gertrude, her minicomp attached to the 20th century computer, run some computations. Joe saw her face and didn't like the scowl that went across it. She had Joe and Lynnae join her.
    "I had Gertrude here run some probability studies on the data I gathered from Mr Big's site. It isn't pretty. Watch the monitor. I'll show you." She turned to face Joe, an impish grin on her face. "I got this idea from an episode of classic Trek. The City On The Edge Of Forever was the title, I believe."
    The screen was static for a moment, then images appeared. June provided the narration. "Mr Big makes nanite-augmentation available covertly to topless bars, strip clubs, and other adult establishments. After that, Gertrude thinks the next move has Mr Big ensnaring an up-and-coming medical researcher and a cybernetisis. He has the two join heads and wa-la ... nanites two centuries early. The world economy wasn't prepared for such an astronomical advancement."
    The screen showed war, devastation, disease, and horror. It then changed to a more peaceful scene. "Just as nanites caused World War Three they quickly fix the shattered world. In addition to making buildings, the medical benefits of nanites are extolled as the next best thing since the wheel. Thanks to Mr Big's prompting, big busts are equated with being healthy." The screen showed women with breasts as big as basketballs, their new massiveness held in check by advanced bra designs.
    "Mr Big makes a fortune in the garment industry, making him richer than Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, and the Rockefellers combined. Over time a small woman is considered to have a 230 centimeter bust, with the average being 305."
    Joe did the math. Why that's 90 and 120 inches respectively! That means that large woman have 150 inch busts! His fantasy about seeing a woman that big was cut off by June's report. "Strangely, Gertrude doesnít think this will lead to a reversal in women's self-esteem as men use nanites to keep themselves virile and 'hunkish'." Both cops giggled at the thought.
    "After that the simulation shows man's advancement into space pretty much as it happened, excuse me, how it could happen had there been no war or early nanites." The simulation ended, returning the screen to the browser window that still held Mr Big's website.
    "I grant that little pervert has a vision. A really warped vision, mind you, but a vision," Lynnae said as she teased a lock of hair. She looked down at June. "Wait a second! Could Mr Big have already contacted his earlier self?"
    June tapped Gertrude's casing. "Gerty already considered that. The Mr Big of this time frame is currently fighting the Yakuza for control of the used underwear market in Japan. I don't believe our Mr Big would want to distract his past self. Besides, he's literally thinking of the future. He's going to set up an opportunity that he won't miss and take advantage of."
    "That little weasel. He'll be rich two times over! We're going to have to stop him now. June, print off that new information from his site." Lynnae removed her robe, showing off her nightshirt and panties.
    Joe was a little confused, but he was getting used to seeing the duo in little clothing. "Um, Lynnae? What are you going to do?"
    She faced the young man, a seductive smile on her lips. "We are going to go to Mr Big's Bust-Out Party, that's what." With that Lynnae headed for bathroom and removed her shirt. Joe only saw the sides of her breasts protruding from her torso before the door closed behind her.

Joe never expected that he would end up going on a roadtrip with two shapely, buxom future cop babes. Indeed, he never expected to go on a roadtrip with any woman. Computer nerds were at the very bottom of the college dating scene. Now he was going to some obscure Minnesota farm with two police women intent on saving the human race from an overendowed future. He took another tug on his container of Jolt cola. He needed all that caffeine to keep him awake. It was a Saturday afternoon and the trip would take a few hours to complete. To pass the time June played tapes from a music group called Queen.
    Joe offered the use of his car, a 1976 Plymouth Volare in mint condition. Lynnae and June only giggled and showed Joe their car. The police cruiser, on the outside, looked like a 1997 Ford Taurus with tinted windows, but on the inside it exuded that high-tech feel. Joe looked at the control panel and knew that it didn't come from any Detroit factory. It reminded him of that car in the Back to the Future movies. The back seat was very comfortable, and he feel asleep despite all that Jolt cola he drank.


It was sunset when the trio found the obscure little farmhouse and barn. There were some cars and minivans there already. Mr Big had posted an invitation to nude bar and pole-dancing establishments to send their most 'undeveloped' women to receive special enhancement. At no cost to themselves and a thousand dollar gift for their troubles. Who could pass up an offer like that?
    The trio got out of the car. Lynnae had on a really large Drake University Bulldogs football team T-shirt. She helped out a football player on his book report and got the shirt as payment. Underneath she had a sports bra and cutoff jeans. In her fanny pack she had her own minicomp (nicknamed Betty) and a compact police stunner. June wore a really loud red shirt, a fanny pack with a stunner inside, and a ratty pair of jeans. Joe had jeans also, but wore a Duckman shirt with the caption 'What the hell are you staring at?' They made their way to the barn. Above the doors was a banner saying 'Welcome Future Balloonists'. The police duo groaned in unison.
    There were quite a few women and only a handful of men. Joe noticed that the women ranged in age from 17 to the early twenties. He saw a particularly attractive Asian girl that made his heart race. June brought him back to earth. "Joe, keep an eye out for Mr Big and his flunky, Albert." Nodding in the affirmative Joe continued walking around in the refurbished barn, gawking at the assemblage of shapely women.
    Just then Albert arrived. He looked like just the way Lynnae described him; a golem with a permanent bad hair day. He got on the stage and spoke. "Thank you for attending Mr Big's Bust-Out Party. The buffet will open shortly but first I will choose the first four women to see Mr Big." With that Albert pointed them out, including the Asian girl that Joe found so enticing. After they left a section of wall came down, revealing tables of food. The gathered crowd went into the awaiting piles of hamburgers, hotdogs, potato salad bowls and softdrinks. It was only twenty minutes later that the four women came back. The hubbub in the barn came to a sudden stop.
    Joe, Lynnae, June and everyone else save Albert were gawking at those four women. Damn, Joe thought, Lynnae told me that nanites worked fast but this is ridiculous! All four of those women were now proud owners of watermelon-sized breasts. The Asian girl's black tank top was barely holding its own keeping her breasts in check. Two tall and slim fair-skinned women had their shirts untucked from their jeans and were looking quite happy. A dazzling red-headed Hispanic woman was practically beaming with delight, her bikini top barely covering the front of her breasts. Albert started a tape in a boom box. The enhanced woman got on stage and began to perform an erotic dance, their boobs gyrating to the musicís rhythm.
    If those boobs were made of regular flesh instead of nanite-made tissue then they would've been hanging past their knees, Lynnae observed. Other women were rushing the stage, trying to prove to themselves that those breasts were real and not stage props. Lynnae removed her minicomp and gave it to June, keeping the stun pistol. "I'll volunteer to be next, June. If I'm not back in 30 minutes then come after me, guns a-blazing."
    "Angels go where fools dare not tread. Or is it the other way around? Good luck Lyn." By that time Albert made his way to the stage and asked for volunteers. All the women yelled, jumped, and threw their arms in the air, trying to get Albert's attention. Out of the next four chosen Lynnae was one of them. The four proceeded into the farmhouse. Albert seated them in the kitchen and gave each of them a particularly fatty ham sandwich to eat. Then the first one was sent down to the basement. Three minutes later she came back up, now a proud owner of massive breasts. Her shirt was only able to cover the top two thirds of her new bosom. The same thing was repeated for number 2 and 3. It was then Lynnae's turn. Summoning up her resolve, she went down those stairs to face Mr Big.


Mr Big was quite happy with himself. His plan was working perfectly. With these enhanced women he'd satisfy his fetish and those of thousands, nay millions, of other men. In time those enhanced women would be photographed in every skin magazine in existence. The younger Mr Big would take note and, as the older Mr Big knew, would get a percentage of those magazine sales for himself, earning him another steady source of income. He'd need all that money when the time came to invest in the garment industry and beyond. His rapture was ended when the fourth woman came down the stairs. Squinting hard he looked at her face. The gleam of metal in her hand drew his eye instead.
    "Hold it right there, you pervert." Mr Big definitely recognized the voice, and his poor eyes finally saw the face it belonged to.
    "Why, it is my most shapely police woman adversary, Lynnae Wilcox. How did you get back to the 20th century?"
    "Can the balloon juice, gramps. I'm here to stop you from making every woman in the world a grotesque balloon toy."
    "Oh, I'm so scared. Sorry to tell you that all your efforts will come to naught. Barbara, Kelly, teach Bonnie here a lesson. Kill her."
    Two shapes jumped out of the shadows. They were two women enhanced by Mr Big. Their massive sport bras held their breasts firmly. Before she could act, Lynnae's stun gun was knocked out of her hand. Recovering quickly she used her martial art skills to tackle her foes. In short order her opponents were knocked out cold. She turned to face Mr Big.
    "It's over, Mr Big. Surrender now and I won't have that comment about having me killed held against you."
    Mr Big seemed to be too much at ease. He raised his hand; Lynnae's stun gun was in it. "Young people should listen to their elders more often." He fired and Lynnae hit the floor hard.

It was only a light stun. Lynnae woke up to find herself tied to a chair in the basement. Mr Big was standing a few feet away, holding a silvery box that had the dimensions of a VCR tape player. The smug look on his weathered face made Lynnae all that more pissed off.
    "I finally got the drop on you, lady cop. I injected you with some sixth-generation nanites. In case you're wondering I had a portable nanite manufacturing module in the van with me when I went back in time."
    "I figured that much out, pervert. And you can spare me the obligatory plot point of the villain explaining his evil plans. That was deduced earlier in the show. Besides, how did you get those girls to blow up so quickly? Even with sixth-generation nanites it would take at least six weeks for them to get breasts that big."
    "Did you like show-and-tell back in grade school?" Seeing that Lynnae was in no mood to answer his question Mr Big pressed on. "Just take a gander at that apple over there on the stool."
    As Lynnae looked on Mr Big activated some controls on the silver box. A light blue beam hit the apple. In seconds the apple decayed into a pile of rot. He then pointed the box at Lynnae. Understandably anxious, an exaggerated sweat bead and a throbbing vein appeared on her forehead. She imagined being changed into either an elderly lady or a new-born baby by that device.
    "Oh, I won't age you that much, copper. Remember that I injected you with breast-enhancing nanites and you ate some rather fatty foods. Now if I age you a few weeks... like so..."
    He pressed a button. Instantly Lynnae looked at her chest and felt a little funny. Right before her eyes her breasts began to expand. The sports bra under her football shirt began to feel tight. In seconds it came undone, her billowing mammaries now causing her shirt to stretch forward. She went wide-eyed as her boobs got bigger and bigger. In a few seconds it was over.
    Lynnae knew that her hair and nails had to be longer due to the advanced aging. Her attention, however, was fixed on her chest. Her now massive bust was resting on her lap, going over her knees at least 15 centimeters and 50 centimeters past either side of her torso. The football shirt was stretched very tight, and as Lynnae took in a breath a small rip appeared at the top.
    She had to turn her head so her words wouldn't be muffled. "You pervert!" The rip got a little bigger. She controlled her breaths, using her willpower to the upmost. Her breasts were four centimeters over her head and she couldn't see Mr Big's face at all.
    "Don't mind if I do! You blew up like a cheap Taiwanese sex toy! With my failing eyes your boobs have to be that big for me to see them! By Adam and Eve they're whoppers! Yahoo! 23 skidoo!" Mr Big did an Indian dance around the now-massive officer, clearly enjoying himself.
    Lynnae was understandably very pissed off. As she fought her bounds she felt her left leg come free. She smiled inside. What luck that he used masking tape on my legs instead of rope. It must've been old tape to begin with because when he aged me he aged the chair also. Now the tape is very weak. I'll just bide my time and play along. If he's going to do what I think he's going to do then this will be over soon.
    Mr Big took a short breather. He lustfully eyed Lynnae, who in turned tried to look as menacing as possible. Since Mr Big couldn't see her face from the front it was only for her benefit. "Too bad I'm so old. I can't deflower you..." he said.
    "How did you know about that?" When Lynnae said that her shirt tear got even bigger, showing more of her new bosom.
    "I'm like an evil St Nick. I know who's been naughty and really naughty." His little laugh made Lynnae grimace. I bet he has files on every woman and girl on Outback, that lech, Lynnae thought. Mr Big picked up where he started. "I can't deflower you but I could certainly 'blow you up'! Yes, you blew up real good!" He went into a laughing spurt that soon ended in a fit of coughing and hacking. Regaining his pose he started speaking again.
    "Hey, there's a new one. Now I'll know what they mean by 'cop a feel'!" With that he walked over to Lynnae, a hand outstretched.
    Lynnae put on her best panic face. "Don't you do that! Lech, Lech!" Paying no mind, Mr Big placed a hand on Lynnae's left breast, giving it a gentle squeeze. She pretended to be aroused. That's right, you piece of movie theater floor. Just come in a few centimeter closer...
    Mr Big did come in closer. Lynnae's freed left leg came up, her foot connecting with Mr Big's crotch. His eyes almost jumped out of their sockets, little animated stars and streaks came out of his head. He fell on Lynnae's bust. The change in balance caused her to fall forward. The most perverted criminal mind the world had ever seen was now trapped and most likely begin suffocated by Lynnae's bust. She would be just as happy to have killed him here than taking him back for proper punishment. She hoped that June alone would find her. Poor Joe would probably bust a vein if he saw Lynnae in her current state.


June came bounding down the basement stairs, stunner ready. She had already taken care of Albert and was wary of any other surprises. She saw two women on the floor, just as busty as the ones now dancing in the barn. In the middle of the room there was a woman with a very large chest. Her hair was long, but it was the same color as Lynnae's. Could it be...?
    "I hope that's you, June. Spare me any sarcastic remarks about my desire of being bigger than you coming true."
    "Lynnae, where is that pervert? Did he get away?" June undid Lynnae's bonds. Though she got up carefully the rip in Lynnae's shirt got larger. They both saw Mr Big, his face still covered in bliss. June checked his pulse. Still alive ... darn.
    Lynnae explained what happened to her. As she pointed to the alien device the rip in her shirt got even bigger. She hugged her bust to prevent the shirt from ripping more. "I suggest that you use that thing on me now, otherwise this episode will get a M18 rating."
    "Just give me a few seconds. Mr Big's hen scratches are hard to read." June seemed to have figured it out. She aimed the device at Lynnae and pressed a button. Lynnae saw her bust shrink and her hair and nails returning to their normal sizes. In a few seconds she was back to normal, but it didn't stop. Lynnae felt herself getting smaller and smaller! Realizing what was happening, June turned off the device but not before Lynnae's body reverted to that of a nine-year-old girl. The football shirt almost fell off her tiny shoulders. Holding the shirt to her body she looked up at June. She was shorter than June to begin with but now she really had to crane her neck up to see June's apologetic face.
    "I promise I'll kill you quickly if you return me to normal RIGHT NOW!" Lynnae hated the squeaky girl's voice that spoke in place of her mature one. June had to giggle at the sight. "Boy, you were cute as a button as a girl. One instant puberty spurt coming right up."

After finding a new shirt Lynnae and June set out to undo the work Mr Big had done to the women. They first stunned the whole barn and dragged in the nanite module and Mr Big's two endowed thugs. Only after giving the women a gamma radiation burst to kill the nanites (Lynnae only needed that gamma burst) and injected breast-reducing nanites into them did they then use the alien device. In no time those breasts were back to normal. They next woke Albert and had him destroy all the notes and data that he and Mr Big had collected. No one was going to discover what had happened here. Locating the van the trio then had Mr Big and Albert bound and gagged. They also found another function of the alien contraption. They placed the two criminals in stasis, posing them as statues and laying them flat in the van. After making a final check of the house they then moved the stunned people away from the buildings and set the structures on fire. They placed a call to the nearest fire department. The firemen would assume it was some wild party that got out of hand.
    The next morning had the trio in the Twin Cities. After finding a junkyard they paid the owner a considerable sum to look the other way while they used the car compactor. The 25th century van and the nanite module were crushed into a little cube. They placed the cube in the trunk of the disguised police cruiser and sped back to Des Moines. Joe had the dubious pleasure of sitting in the back seat with two time-frozen criminals on either side of him. At least they didn't bite.


It was a nice August night as the duo prepared to return to the 25th century. They kept Mr Big and Albert frozen in time and left them in the back seat. Joe asked them if they were going to take anything back with them. Lynnae and June both lit up with joy. They practically crammed everything that would fit into the cruiser. Towels, the VCR, video tapes collections of crime dramas, CDs, anything. In the 25th century they'd get a king's ransom in any auction. Lynnae finally saw her chance to be debt-free and June imagined getting that sports bike she always wanted. They had Gertrude, the minicomp, erase every record of their existence from the net and the appropriate computer files. The apartment landlord would be receiving a rather generous tip and the diner would have two new openings. They also splurged at a gaming convention called GenCon. Lynnae picked up a Tom Baker Doctor Who hat and scarf. June got a cute dragon toy to wear on her shoulder and a MST3K poster. Mr Big was acting as an impromptu storage unit, his arms holding several Drake University shirts and windbreakers.
    She couldn't resist. Lynnae had to have the last word. Undoing the gag she unfroze Mr Big. Needless to say he was very ticked at being made a human closet.
    "You may laugh now, flatfoots. But I, Mr Big, will rise again! My plan would have worked if it wasn't for you meddling kids!"
    Joe had a flash of inspiration. "Well, since you said meddling kids I'll just have to remove that mask of yours and see what you really look like!" After a few attempts Joe realized that Mr Big's face was for real. He was a shriveled-up piece of shoe leather with eyes.
    "So much for a Scooby Doo ending. Perhaps next time." Joe stepped back and Lynnae and June moved in to take one last look at the powerless crime king.
    "You two haven't seen the last of me. I'll get out of prison and the whole universe will tremble at the sound of my laughter!" He laughed and again it ended in a fit of coughing and hacking.
    Lynnae aimed the alien device at Mr Big, smiling intensely. "You had your say, old fart. You'll crumble up and blow away in prison this time. So just SHUT... UP!" After stealing those two words from Harry Mud, Lynnae refroze Mr Big in time and placed her Who hat on his head. June said her goodbye to Joe and shook his hand. Lynnae had something more in mind.
    Joe got a kiss on the cheek and a wonderful hug from Lynnae. Joe felt a little funny as her breasts pressed into him. She stepped back and spoke. "Of course you'll have to forget about us. Don't want you to change the timeline and all that, you know. But do talk more to that cute redhead I saw you with a few weeks ago. She certainly finds you attractive."
    Joe was a little dumbfounded. "Me?? I'm just Joe Dimsdale, a computer nerd. With pimples!"
    Lynnae shook her head in disagreement. "Don't think like that. It takes all kinds of people in the world to fall in love. Just do as I say and everything will turn out for the best." With that Lynnae waved her hand and got into the cruiser. June was looking askance at her.
    "And you put me to task for altering history with that demonstration all those weeks ago. What about that thing you told Joe?"
    Lynnae smiled lazily. "You should've consulted Gertrude about Joe. His descendants are the ones who created the core logic of our favorite little minicomp in the first place."
    June slapped her forehead. "Well Duh! Why is it that every time-travel bit must include some stupid paradox? At least Joe wasn't a child born from some future solider or such similar nonsense."
    "That's the truth. Lets get this bucket going. I suspect that we'll find New Darwin and the 25th century waiting for us." With that the duo donned sunglasses and Lynnae activated the alien device. The chameleon circuit changed the cop car back into its normal exterior shape. The main lift repulsars came on line and the tires were retracted. As a final touch the red and blue lights were activated.
    Foot ready on the accelerator and finger on the device June had to say the following. "It's 2:05 a.m., we're 413 years from home, there's a third-quarter change in the engine, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses."
    Lynnae quickly finished the bit. "Hit it". The cruiser jumped to life. A second later a black disk appeared in front of the cruiser. Freaky electrical effects came into prominence as the vehicle entered the disk. In a second it was all over. Joe turned around and walked back to his car. He wished those two buxom future police babes the best of fortune.


Chief Talbert was very pleased to see Lynnae and June survive the warehouse explosion. He was much more pleased to see that they captured Mr Big and his major flunky. The strange alien device was whisked away by some men in black suits. Lynnae had heard of these people before and wondered what they were going to do with the alien machine. But that would have to wait for another time.
    The auction for the duo's 20th century paraphernalia was held. Lynnae was debt-free for the first time in twelve years. June got that extra-special sports bike she'd had her eye on for so long. A special awards ceremony was held for the duo. For bravery and initiative displayed in unusual circumstances they received the Commonwealth of Planetary States Award for Merit. The two cops had to bend down to receive the medals since the Chief was shorter than Lynnae. Their police-issue microskirts could only do so much at any one time. This wasn't a problem since the audience was in front of them. However this hadn't stopped Lieutenant Larry Harkin, a.k.a The Lecher, before and didn't do so now.
    About a kilometer away Larry trained his special long-distance camera on the duo's backsides. In the 25th century a paparazzi could be in orbit and have photos that looked like they were taken from only a few feet away. Lynnae, as usual, had on a modest pair of undies. June, true to form, had on a less modest panty, and it was red to boot. Larry licked his lips. Now his collection was complete. He had photographed every policewoman in the station house in their underwear or similar compromising situation. He heard a strange whistling sound and looked up...

Mr Big was pacing the floor of his cell like a caged animal. He went to the bars, grabbing them and yelling for all to hear. "There hasn't been a prison cell built that can hold me. If I can escape from a Russian gulag in the depths of Siberia then this cardboard box is no challenge at all! My plasticrete was used to make this place, after all!" Mr Big's outburst was greeted by catcalls and shouts from the other prisoners telling him for the umpteenth time to shut up. Mr Big turned around to see if Albert was finished. His flunky had removed his rear molars and gave them to Mr Big.
    "Excellent! I knew that replacing your molars with plastic explosives would be useful. Grab that mattress and be ready. There's only an 8-second fuse on the master molar." Mr Big mashed all but one of the molars together into a small lump. Sticking it to the far wall he then inserted the remaining molar into the plastic lump. Turning the crown half-way around he then got behind the mattress with Albert. The explosion was much more powerful than expected.

....and saw a big piece of plasticrete heading right for him. He dodged just in time. Unfortunately that plasticrete found his abandoned camera instead. Two thousands c-bills of camera and film were destroyed. Well, Larry thought, there's always the proverbially next time.
    That's the proof of the pudding, flat foots! Larry looked around, trying to find the source of that strange, elderly voice. He didn't find it.

[End Credits ó Instead of the regular still shots the duo are shown posing as various police characters from 20th century TV shows and movies. Ends with the duo in silhouette. Mr Big's laughter is heard but, as usual, ends in a coughing and hacking fit. Fade to black.]


The Time Bust episode broke all rating records for its category of show. On many planetary entertainment nets it was shown multiple times, earning huge audience shares. The special-edition video cube was on the streets only four months later.