Diana the Valkyrie

Student Membership

I was a student once, when I was a young Valkyrie. I remember the shortage of funds, how every penny counts, the horrendous cost of books and bikes and bottles and the other necessities of life. So I'm starting up a new thing - Student Membership.

Here's how it works. Students don't have money, but they do have a fair amount of free time; no children to look after, for a start (usually). So, the Student Membership will mean you don't pay money, but you'll be spending your time. And you should be aware before you start - making a video is going to take some organising.

I want photographs, and I want video clips. I don't want anything pornographic or depraved. And the subject I want, is m/f fighting. That can be boxing, wrestling or arm-wrestling. It can be a fair fight, or it can be scripted, that's up to you.

All participants in the action must be over 18 (and over the age of consent, if that's higher where you live). All participants in the action must be aware that the video will be digitised and made available over the internet. All participants must give their informed consent to this. We don't want to rip anyone off.

Clothing should be trousers, shorts, skirt, shirt, T-shirt, I don't mind. Or beachwear is fine. No nudity, we're not making pornography here. Bare feet are acceptable. The usual gloves for boxing.

Use tomato ketchup or strawberry jam (jelly) if you want to show blood. A punch to his face, then cut the action, show her grinning and sneering at him, apply ketchup to his face, then the camera zooms in on the bloody face. Large black and purple bruises can be made using washable skin colourant.

The level of violence can be anything that would be tolerated in Hollywood. Look at the Rocky films if you want a guideline for how far that goes. You might also look at Goldeneye (rated suitable for 12 year olds) and some of the violence scenes there. You can do a lot by suggestion rather than action. For example, she has his arm in a lock, and she's working the hold. Cut to someone holding a pencil in her hand. She snaps the pencil. Back to the action ...

Scissors scenes are very popular, and easy to do. Boxing is a popular theme, and of course wrestling. You can be as liberal as you like with the screams and groans of agony, but try not to overact. A muffled moan can be far more effective than a piercing shriek. A man struggling weakly, gripped in a woman's legs, his struggles gradually fading out. She releases him, he flops to the ground, unmoving.

Armwrestling is another popular sport. But you can devise other contests. For example, a foot race, or shot put, or a weight lifting contest. Perhaps the loser has to do something amusing as a penalty; I'll leave you to devise that.

Kickboxing is good. Try not to let her kick his head off, but a kick followed by his collapse to the ground folded in half and clutching at his delicate bits would be popular.

Everyone should have fun in doing it - I think that's important. Even the poor unfortunate male victim.

How to do it

First, find your actors. It's at this point that you discover who your friends are. At a minimum, you want one male and one female (both over 18, remember). And you have to explain to them what this is for, and they have to agree. And they have to find it fun, otherwise what's the point? She doesn't have to be bigger than him, as long as she doesn't mind beating him up.

You need a venue. Outdoors is best, because of the lighting. Failing that, perhaps there's a large sports area you can use, and borrow their mats, maybe borrow their ring. Just explain you're making a video, that will open a surprising number of doors. Try to keep the audience away, that can be very distracting.

Don't write a complete script with lots of lines to remember - they won't remember them. Just give them guidance about what to do. And remember, you can always make the video, then play the video back and make a separate sound track; I can mix them together.

Beg, borrow or buy a video recorder. Hi-8 is best, but anything will do. Lighting is incredibly important. If you can shoot outdoors on a sunny day, that's ideal, but failing that, indoors (perhaps in a gym) but then have very bright lighting. Use more lighting than you thought you'd need. If you can take the same scenes with more than one video camera, that would be good. I can mix and edit with what I have here.

Don't hold the camera in your hand. Mount it on a tripod, and try not to touch it. Camera shake is the sign of an amateur at work. If you have more than two cameras, mount them all on tripods except one, which you can use as handheld.

If you want to write a script and tell a story, that would be excellent. Failing that, short clips would be fine. If you need advice on a storyline, I can help.

When it's done, send me the tape, either the original video tape (if it's Hi-8 or similar format) or else transferred onto VHS tape. I can handle PAL (European) and NTSC (American). I can then digitise the action, and make AVI and MPG clips from it.

Or photographs

If you aren't up to making a video or video clips, then I'll accept photographs. The same thing goes; no pornography, all participants must be over 18 and give their informed consent. After that, use your imagination. Film is expensive, so I'd suggest you beg, borrow or buy a digital camera. There's lots of them around, and you can run off 100 pictures at zero cost. Then you just send me the pictures each month.

How to start

Email me at Valkyrie@TheValkyrie.com and tell me that you want to do this, and we'll sort out the details.